I'm Off HRT- Fat, Depressed, and Unmotivated...Please read.

Well I tried to post the short version of what's happened, but it's still pretty long so please bear with me...

I started HRT about 7 months ago with .5 ml test/week due to low test levels. I had some acne and hot flashes but other than that, I had no problems. Starting in August I upped the dose to 1ml/week and noticed nice gains in size and strength. I also noticed increased acne, night sweats, higher blood pressure, mood swings, and slight visual impairments.

Toward the end of August I started getting gyno symptoms (itchy/painful nips) so I got a hold of aromatase inhibitors from my physician and other sources and went on my way. About two weeks later I was still having some symptoms and my physician recommended I stop all HRT and see an endocrinologist. So I took my last test shot about 4 weeks ago and scheduled an appointment with an endo. I continued using the aromatase inhibitors for a couple weeks. Soon after I stopped test, my acne got so widespread and painful that I started to get really worried about scarring. I also lost about 7-10lbs of muscle and have increased chest fat. My nips have never been puffy or stuck out at all - now I have to wear t-shirts under my work shirts so my nips don't stick out. The endocrinologist checked out my chest and didn't find actual breast tissue so I'm pretty sure it's estrogenic fat deposits. This is the biggest problem I have right now - I'm scared to death that this is permanent or will be so hard to work off that I'll have puffy nips forever.

I've always been really good about my diet - resisted junk foods and other crap. But the last three weeks I've seen my discipline in this area shrink dramatically. I can't seem to stop eating the wrong foods: ice cream, cookies, etc. I've also seemed to let up on my work outs - I would do almost anything to NOT miss a workout and I thought about it all day (what I would do and when, how long I would be there, etc.) Now I find myself missing days because I just don't feel like going. I know my estrogen levels are probably so high that working out at this point is pointless.

I know, I should have taken clomid after my test, but I wasn't sure I should with the gyno symptoms. Also, my endocrinologist wants me to do a full range of bloodwork to determine the cause of my low test levels. In order to obtain a valid diagnosis I need to have all my levels where they would be normally. This means no test, anti aromatase, clomid, etc. I didn't think I had a choice in the matter - I had to get off everything.

I'm watching months of hard work and discipline go to sh*t. I busted my ass in the gym and it's all going away. I'm so pissed at myself and haven't slept well in days. I know I'm whining, but I have no one else to speak to about this. My wife knows I'm off but I'm too embarrassed to talk about all the sides I'm experiencing. How do you tell your wife you're worried you might grow tits?

Sorry for the rant - I'm not sure what I expect to gain from this. If anyone has been through some of this or has any advice or knowledge that would help me now or in the future I would appreciate it. I'm not sure I want to hear about what I SHOULD have done - it's not much help right now. I'm scheduled to get my blood work done next week - hopefully I'll find some resolution to my original problem. I'm posting this in other areas so I may receive faster/more responses.

peace.matty

Matty,

Most Doc's who prescribe HRT are not specialists in this area. I would search out a new Doc who specializes in HRT or Anti-aging and check him/her out.
You didn't give your age. And it also didn't sound like you Doc got a good baseline of your Test levels before HRT started! If thats true get a new Doc and don't give up bro!

MJ

Thanks Mighty Joe,

You are exactly right - my original primary care did not run a complete baseline before starting me on test therapy. The endocrinologist I'm seeing now really seems to know what he's doing and is intent on finding out what's wrong. It sucks to watch years of hardwork and discipline go out the window, but I guess it could be worse. I know once my test/est levels are "normal" things will start falling back into place - I hope!

Thanks for the encouragement - I really need it right now!

matty

Matty, i just read your post and was wondering how you are doing. i have a doctor that sounds similiar to your first. the only exception is that he thinks the zone diet is the cure for everything. i recently read mastiff's post on hrt replacement and a good bit of the symptoms he decsribed is what i am going thru. as i write this, i am printing the post so that i can do the research and find the books with all the cites and studies. i am going to show this to my doctor. if this does not wake him up, i will have to change doctors. i hate that you are having to go thru this mess but keep your head up bro. it will all work out in the end.