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  1. #1
    Jdawg50's Avatar
    Jdawg50 is offline Anabolic Member
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    Aug 2002

    Kerry's first act as president

    May 23, 2005

    WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which
    provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No
    Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly
    after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of
    the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

    "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
    necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,"
    said Kerry, a longtime AWNAA supporter.

    "This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and
    allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
    legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to
    a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have
    some idea of what they are doing", said Kerry.

    President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which
    has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
    performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job
    skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of

    Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against
    the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and
    home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%)

    President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds
    of Nonabled people for top government positions, including many
    cabinet-level jobs.

    Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle
    man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but
    little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose
    and performance.

    Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to
    guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The
    legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that
    maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions,
    and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire
    one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

    Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
    to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview
    questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you
    have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you

    "As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
    have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her
    position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her
    lack of notable job skills.

    "This new law should really help people like me."
    With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented
    citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every
    American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of
    space to take up in this great nation."

  2. #2
    Badgerman's Avatar
    Badgerman is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    A mile High
    Maybe they'll put you on the list......

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