Thread: LMFAO this is to good
02-10-2005, 01:20 PM #1
LMFAO this is to good
I think I found this originaly on this board or ********. ANyway it was a long time ago so I thought its well worth a repost
The Ant and the Grasshopper [Classic Version]
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
The Ant and the Grasshopper [Modern Version]
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing ”It’s Not Easy Being Green.”
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing ”We shall overcome.” Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.
Tom Daschle & Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his ”fair share.”
Finally, the EEOC drafts the ”Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,” retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper an a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican - not that they get it so right either, its just that they are less pathetic than most democrats
02-12-2005, 11:54 AM #2
If that was all there was to the story, I'd agree. But things are a bit more involved than either version A or B of that story . . .
Businesses have morphed from independant farmers, blacksmiths, coopers, and other tradesmen, to small factories, then to "factory systems" (where employees lived in company-owned dormitories and bought all their stuff at company-owned stores, went to company-owned churches, and were buried in company-owned graveyards), and now we've got multi-national corporations which have unprecedented influence over the laws which govern the country.
So nowadays, the tax system and rules of responsibility for things are a lot different than they were back in the days when the ant could harvest and store his crop in peace. Nowadays the government screws with taxes, sets price supports, regulates who can grow how much of what, and when to grow it, and screws with all sorts of other stuff. And it's the handful of corporation officials who decide what would be most profitable for the stockholders and bribe politicians with campaign $$$ to change laws to benefit them. If the "little guy" gets screwed, well, it's too bad for them.
I'd say Version B of the story is only half right . . . sure, there are lots of lazy people who could (and should) be taking responsibility for themselves, but then again, it needs another revision to include what happens when powerful corporations have their legions of lawyers and Washington lobbyists bribe politicians to pass laws to favor their interests.
Sorta like the scum running Enron -- they deliberately manipulated the production of energy to artificially increase the price of electricity, and the "ants" all over the US had to pay more $$$ to corporations. Then they manipulated their stock price and their employee's retirement funds, and in the end, lots of people lost their life savings.
Or, like when I was working in a semiconductor manufacturing factory -- the production managers got bonuses based on how many chips they turned out, so they took as many short cuts as they could to increase production, which led to them neglecting safety precautions. As a result, lots of people ended up working in an environment where the air routinely had unsafe levels of all sorts of toxic crap, where people were working with lethal stuff like hydrofluoric acid without safety aprons or gloves, where the place didn't have a working fire alarm system, and people got sick and were hospitalized as a result.
Ya, this sort of thing needs to be included in the story . . .
IMHO, there's not much difference between the Grasshopper and corporations.
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)