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  1. #1
    zOaib's Avatar
    zOaib is offline VET
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    The Political Cow !

    >DEMOCRATIC
    >>You have two cows.
    >>Your neighbor has none.
    >>You feel guilty for being successful.
    >>Barbara Streisand sings for you.
    >>
    >>REPUBLICANISM
    >>You have two cows.
    >>Your neighbor has none.
    >>So?
    >>
    >>SOCIALIST
    >>You have two cows.
    >>The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    >>You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
    >>
    >>COMMUNIST
    >>You have two cows.
    >>The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    >>You wait in line for hours to get it.
    >>It is expensive and sour.
    >>
    >>CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
    >>You have two cows.
    >>You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
    >>
    >>BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
    >>You have two cows.
    >>Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
    >>milk the
    >>other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
    >>
    >>AMERICAN CORPORATION
    >>You have two cows.
    >>You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd
    >>one.
    >>You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
    >>surprised
    >>when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts
    >>stating
    >>you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
    >>Your stock goes up.
    >>
    >>FRENCH CORPORATION
    >>You have two cows.
    >>You go on strike because you want three cows.
    >>You go to lunch and drink wine.
    >>Life is good.
    >>
    >>JAPANESE CORPORATION
    >>You have two cows.
    >>You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
    >>and
    >>produce twenty times the milk.
    >>They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
    >>Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
    >>
    >>GERMAN CORPORATION
    >>You have two cows.
    >>You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
    >>excellent
    >>quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
    >>Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
    >>
    >>ITALIAN CORPORATION
    >>You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    >>While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
    >>You break for lunch.
    >>Life is good.
    >>
    >>RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    >>You have two cows.
    >>You have some vodka.
    >>You count them and learn you have five cows.
    >>You have some more vodka.
    >>You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    >>The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really
    >>have.
    >>
    >>TALIBAN CORPORATION
    >>You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
    >>You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' private
    >>parts.
    >>You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
    >>alternatives to
    >>milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
    >>
    >>IRAQI CORPORATION
    >>You have two cows.
    >>They go into hiding.
    >>They send radio tapes of their mooing.
    >>
    >>POLISH CORPORATION
    >>You have two bulls.
    >>Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
    >>
    >>BELGIAN CORPORATION
    >>You have one cow.
    >>The cow is schizophrenic.
    >>Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
    >>The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
    >>The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
    >>The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
    >>The cow dies happy.
    >>
    >>FLORIDA CORPORATION
    >>You have a black cow and a brown cow.
    >>Everyone votes for the best looking one.
    >>Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
    >>accidentally vote
    >>for the black one.
    >>Some people vote for both.
    >>Some people vote for neither.
    >>Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
    >>Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you
    >>think is
    >>the best-looking cow.
    >>
    >>CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

    >>You have millions of cows.
    >>They make real California cheese.
    >>Only five speak English.
    >>Most are illegals.
    >>Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.


  2. #2
    Badgerman's Avatar
    Badgerman is offline Banned
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    Awesome.........that is hilarious........thanx

  3. #3
    scriptfactory's Avatar
    scriptfactory is offline Anabolic Member
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    LOL! I read this on EF last year, though.

  4. #4
    MilitiaGuy's Avatar
    MilitiaGuy is offline Banned
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    Highly effective

  5. #5
    Bigen12's Avatar
    Bigen12 is offline AR-Hall of Famer
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    Good One!

  6. #6
    inheritmylife's Avatar
    inheritmylife is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by zOaib
    [>>BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
    >>You have two cows.
    >>Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
    >>milk the
    >>other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
    >>
    This one is so true.

  7. #7
    gymnutt is offline Associate Member
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    Exuse me while I choke on my laughter and wipe the tears from my face.

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