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  1. #1
    3Vandoo's Avatar
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    Why Can't I own a Canadian?

    Posted by Banacek on MN.

    Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
    October 2002
    Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
    Dear Dr. Laura:
    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
    When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
    I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
    I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
    Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
    I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
    A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
    Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
    Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
    I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
    My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

  2. #2
    Bigen12's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3Vandoo
    Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
    I can't wait to hear the answer to this question...

    I've always wanted to own me a couple of Canadians....

  3. #3
    3Vandoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigen12
    I can't wait to hear the answer to this question...

    I've always wanted to own me a couple of Canadians....

    here some canadian if you want them


  4. #4
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    obnoxious

    Dr. Laura would rip the author of this letter a new one. It was probably written by a flaming homosexual looking for us to validate his way of life by envoking the obnoxious passages of the bible............

  5. #5
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    I think Tock wrote that.

  6. #6
    3Vandoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logan13
    Dr. Laura would rip the author of this letter a new one. It was probably written by a flaming homosexual looking for us to validate his way of life by envoking the obnoxious passages of the bible............
    If God exists, and he's the supreme creator, therefore he created gays too.

  7. #7
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    yes

    Quote Originally Posted by 3Vandoo
    If God exists, and he's the supreme creator, therefore he created gays too.
    how can one argue with that logic?.................

  8. #8
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    yes

    Quote Originally Posted by CAUSASIAN
    I think Tock wrote that.
    yes, perhaps doctorherb assisted.

  9. #9
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    chechnya

    Quote Originally Posted by CAUSASIAN
    I think Tock wrote that.
    I was invited to Chechnya this summer to visit a suppliers overseas petroleum plant. Should I go, I am a little hesitant.

  10. #10
    Myka's Avatar
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    This proves that Christianity is superior...

  11. #11
    3Vandoo's Avatar
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    seriously, not to turn this into a queerish thread...


    but humanity was since a long time homophobic, except for the japanese samurai and the greeks society.

    we all know these so called sacred book were written by men and influenced and corupted by them.

    so if homosexuality was a taboo, why god created gays?
    then we can say why there is evil, killers, or Richard Simons

    hell, I dunno

  12. #12
    Myka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3Vandoo
    seriously, not to turn this into a queerish thread...


    but humanity was since a long time homophobic, except for the japanese samurai and the greeks society.

    we all know these so called sacred book were written by men and influenced and corupted by them.

    so if homosexuality was a taboo, why god created gays?
    then we can say why there is evil, killers, or Richard Simons

    hell, I dunno
    I dont think god created gays...I think he created free will and choice so we can decide for ourselves if we want to serve him...

    You can program your computer to say "Hello your a wonderful person" when you log on...but is that the same as when a loved one says something similar?...No...its the same with god...he didnt want robots...He wanted "loved ones" they dont serve him because they have to...they want to...

    Let me say that I do think it is pathetic when people look towards the bible to condemn homosexuality...is it condemned? Yes...I Cor 6:9-10... But so is fornication...and what would we do without fornication? Well...we wouldnt have america...

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigen12
    I can't wait to hear the answer to this question...

    I've always wanted to own me a couple of Canadians....
    I thought we already owned Canada? Thus, we own the canandian people too. It's like the accessories that come with the GI Joe toy you buy.

  14. #14
    Animal Cracker's Avatar
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    Dr. Laura is a wacko.

  15. #15
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    i read all of it, just made my day!

  16. #16
    CAUSASIAN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logan13
    I was invited to Chechnya this summer to visit a suppliers overseas petroleum plant. Should I go, I am a little hesitant.
    Its very very very cold right now. And some parts can be dangerous. But alot of the area is pretty safe currently. But as a foriegner, I would be careful. Kidnappings happen very often, either by terrorists or criminals especially the very powerful Chechen Mafia.

  17. #17
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    can you take out Mafia to chechen mafia please

    you can say the very powerfull chechen orgarnised crime, but not mafia

    mafia is restricted to Italian-catholic criminals around the cosa nostra or cammurra or 'Ndrangheta or Sacra Corona Unita
    Stidda mafiosi or la casa nueva!

    thank you!

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