Thread: Heart break... need suggestions
06-30-2004, 09:42 AM #1
Heart break... need suggestions
Hey everybody, who's willing to give me some advice on the best way to get over a break up? me and my girl were really close for over 3 years, (she even gave me my shots) but it just wasn't in the cards for us I guess and I'm having a tough time moving on. feel free to say anything, serious or funny... (at this point I could use a good laugh, even if it IS at my expense!)
06-30-2004, 09:44 AM #2
****, can one of the mods please move this to the Lounge for me?!? my bad...
06-30-2004, 09:49 AM #3
06-30-2004, 09:50 AM #4
Stay busy, keep with close friends, and allow yourself time to grieve. Man when you suffer a major loss you have to go through the process if you are in pain it's okay to feel that way. Let yourself be a human being. When you are alone I don't care what any macho guy here says if you gotta cry, shed some tears. Nothing hurts like losing someone you truly loved.
Revenge Fuc*king doesn't work, it makes it worse. Take some time to reflect on where you want to go next and stay focused on that. Best of luck.
06-30-2004, 10:41 AM #5
1Victor is totally right bro. Revenge doesn't work for sh*t! Sorry you are struggling with this, but I understand. Not too long ago, I almost lost my marriage. Stay busy, don't dwell on "what might have been," go about your business, and most of all, listen to your feelings. You will know when things are becoming back on track. Lean on your friends/family, and pull it together when you are ready. Good luck!
06-30-2004, 11:13 AM #6
I agree. Im in the exact same boat. I was devestated for months. Still think about her now and weve been broken up for 5 months. We live in the same city now becaue Im back from school. I will def recommend, not calling her.. being "just friends" is impossible esp when they start dating other guys.
tip of advice : the best way to get over a girl is to get under another!
06-30-2004, 11:22 AM #7
GET BIG my friend and then go to see her, after me and my gf broke up I was a mess and i eventually got back into the gym, I hadnt seen her for about 1 1/2 years and in that time i managed to put on 60lbs of ripped muscle (40lbs natural, 20lbs with juice), I went to the bar with this new hottie I was seeing and guess how I ran into, my ex. It was the best feeling in the world when she came up to me like she thought she could get me again, she was touching me and telling me how big i was and how good i looked, and nothin felt better than telling her to get lost.
06-30-2004, 11:55 AM #8
awesome... thanks for all the great advice. yeah, I actually don't hold any grudges. I wish her the best (at least until I see with someone else, then It will take an act of God to keep me from ripping his head off!)
keep busy, let it out, get big... ok, I got it!
06-30-2004, 12:41 PM #9Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2003
In the same boat with ya my friend. The worst thing is that you think about the person all the time because you're so used to being with them. I try to always have something to do. As long as you are busy you can keep your mind off of her. Just try not to get in a fight with the guy. That will really make things bad. Take that anger to the gym and use it against the weights. "Think Dorian Yates kind of intensity"
I got 99 problems but a BITCH ain't one!
07-09-2004, 05:29 PM #10New Member
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- Apr 2004
Yeah buddy I feel ya pain.....after 6 years, I'm 23, so the real first 6 years of my life I might add and it finally came to the end. She is now seeing some 29yr old solicitor who's built like a brick sh!thouse. I'm 65kg's of nothing at 180cms tall (temporarily I might add). I have no ill feeling, just pain of being left alone.
All I can suggest is either look at it from the point that she is happy and if you care about her still then her happiness is what is important, even if it no longer involves yourself.
If ya have hatred then look at it as a good move for yourself and start going fishing for a better catch.
I have opted to no longer see mine as I couldn't handle it, too jelous and too depressing to see her with another guy, even though she wanted to remain friends.
It's bad as she lives about 2 minutes away and I see her and her new boyfriend about. He's taken my exact spot, driving her around in her car, as she hates driving. I feel so easly replaced!!
Also don't go blaming him, if he makes her happy then you should be able to find some solitude in that, well thats what I'm saying to myself till I'm actually bigger then the kunt shes seeing, then I will strike down with furious anger and unholy retribution and make him feel pain, BRING IT ON
07-09-2004, 06:29 PM #11
That's the right formula:
keep busy, let it out, get big
07-09-2004, 06:48 PM #12Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2004
hey guys just 3 days ago my gf for 2 years just broke up with me for some abercrobie pretty boy 130 lbs. and it just kills me im only 20 so it was my whole highschool plus and i was so down but now i found this and it helps alot thanks guys for advise this truely is a great site. and i was thinking about revenge for me being more then 100 lbs biger but if u guys say u really dont suggest that then i wont
07-09-2004, 08:16 PM #13Associate Member
Originally Posted by tiny51
- Join Date
- Jun 2004
07-09-2004, 08:16 PM #14
cry over her one time and then never again.
This may be your 1st or 2nd heartbreak, and it surly wont be your last. If she dumped you then youll get the last laugh at some point, thats just how it works. Testsubject is a good example of the last laugh and thats sweeter than any revenge...
Time heals all but untill then stick with the gym and do the things you enjoy. someone WILL come along!
But what the hell do i know im just a guy going through a divorce
ps. if all else fails hit a strip club , the girls will make you feel good.....................................until the money runs out
07-10-2004, 04:07 PM #15Associate Member
Originally Posted by DevilsDeity
- Join Date
- Jun 2004
Yea...lol, and don't make the mistake of thinking the stripper wants you when she starts talkin' to you.
07-24-2004, 03:22 PM #16
Here are some tips from my favorite magazine "Men's Health"-
1. Don't keep reminding yourself about the person. Dwelling on things will make matters worse. Spend lots of time on the phone with friends and family- and not talking too much about the split.
2. Remove all the reminders. If you can't throw away that overstuffed teddy bear she bought you, bag it and put it in the garage... along with the all the other stuff she left behind.
3. Taking up a hobby is a redundant suggestion, but has been one of the most important recommendations of professional "Break up Doctors." I love the new sport kite surfing- give it a try!
4. Clean your house! This is symbolism to yourself that you've still got it all together. Tidying up will do wonders for you moral man.
Take care buddy.
07-25-2004, 11:38 AM #17Banned
- Join Date
- May 2003
- lookin for a new home
Hey bro I know how you feel I was a wreck for about 6 months after loseing my gf. I aint gonna lie to you eithere here. I still think about her from time to time and it makes me feel sick to my stomach knowing she is with some other guy smileing at him, laughing at his jokes, holding his hand. I tried to stay friends with her but it was just too hard on me emotionally and I think she understood that in the end. I just think that no one will ever be good enough for her or the guy she is with is just out to get a piece off of her and hurt the girl I truley loved.
Eventually you will move on but it takes time, and that time isn't fun. Cry if you have to but the key thing is DO NOT TALK TO HER OR ASK PEOPLE ABOUT HER DURING THE GRIEVING PROCESS!!!! It just makes it that much harder.
07-26-2004, 01:07 PM #18
Not feeling so alone now
Sorry to hear you are bummed out Ripped
07-26-2004, 04:13 PM #19Originally Posted by MrDezel
07-26-2004, 04:18 PM #20Originally Posted by Krunchtime
Hey, maybe you can watch the last 20 minutes of Swingers to get yourself to feel better.
07-26-2004, 05:11 PM #21
Try crack whores they save you a few $$$
Just incase it takes you a long time to get over things...
Originally Posted by bad_man
07-26-2004, 05:14 PM #22
Seriously though bro, 3 years is a long time to be that close to someone...
It's gonna take time to get over things, just focus on the positive things
in your life, family, friends, lifting, work... whatever works for you... I know
first hand breaking up sucks... I was with my ex almost 10 years before
things fell apart and it took along time to get over things...
07-27-2004, 01:16 PM #23Anabolic Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2001
july 6th my 10 year relationships ended
i'ma mess.devastated actually, i can't really even talk about it that much without being about 2 seconds from tears. if you need anyoen to talk to feel free to pm me or give a call. i know how hard this is first hand .i'm trying to deal with it now and it hurts badly.anything i can do to help don't hesitate to ask
07-27-2004, 01:43 PM #24
Sorry for the loss Ripped......sucks big time but you'll pull through. Best advice I can give is to bury yourself into a project or hobby. One day at a time is what it'll take. I'd say run out and bang another girl but that's not even a good quick fix.....short of the sex part.
07-27-2004, 01:55 PM #25
Ending a relationship is just like a death...
there is a time period to mourn the ending of something that was you.. so take that time..
it's ok to be sad, to miss her, to feel sorry for yourself..
but you have to be you... and you must move on... there will come a day, that is so busy, and you have so much fun.. you will be going to bed, and you will realize that you haven't thought of her all day..
this again will make you sad..
but one day, you will be with another woman, holding her in your arms, being thankful that she is there..
and you will move on................The answer to your every question
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07-27-2004, 02:08 PM #26Banned
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
There has been lots of good advice in this thread for all of us who are going through this. Using this time to really get an edge in your training and diet can be a HUGE catalyst for you right now. In my opinion you can sometimes lose a bit of focus in your training when involved in a serious relationship (especially if she didnt work out). This is now the time to get focused! Focus on every work out like its your last. When you hit rock bottom emotionally there is nowhere to go but up. Training harder than ever during this time and reeping the awesome benefits will make you a much better person inside and out in my opinion. Now that you are naturally in emotional despair use it to your advantage. For me it was tough to get an appetite when I was heartbroken. I used that lack of appetite to really clean up my diet.
Lots of great atheletes (and succesfull people in general) like to have an edge. I once read a piece about how linebacker Brian Cox used to walk around the dressing room before gametime naked acting like he was a slave and about to be auctioned off by slave traders. Kind of an extreme example but when us human beings feel like our backs are against the wall or you have hit ground zero we can achieve tremendous feats. Use this in your training. I think its only natural that we think about our ex 's and the creep they are seeing now. I admit I think about that when training all the time. I think about them and how they are probably out playing grab ass while I am working harder than anyone. When I am in this mode of thinking that last set of squats on a heavy leg day doesnt seem at all grueling. I dont know if this is a healthy way of thinking but it sure works for me man. Give it time and your confidence will soar and you will have forgotten all about it. Good luck with everything.
07-27-2004, 04:52 PM #27Originally Posted by bad_man
08-01-2004, 03:22 PM #28
Find someone that makes you happy, keep your head up and be proud of who you are and what you stand for.
09-14-2004, 09:41 AM #29
Dude unfortunatly it wasnt meant to be.. at least at this time.. Someone will come along that is meant to be and you'll spend the rest of your lives together! But for now get drunk.. grieve... then workout like u have never worked out before! hmm gdont work out on the same day as getting drunk might not be a good idea lol
09-14-2004, 11:18 AM #30
my g/f of 2 years broke up w/ me when i got around 25% bf she didnt seem to understand that i was going to lose it. 4 months later i saw her at a club by my school she didn't even recognize me i was at 10% abs showing and i went from the dance floor with one of her friends (ex friend now) to my dorm. Take this time for urself on improving somethi8ng that you've wanted to do..for me it was my body...it could be anything just get a goal and stay foccussed
09-16-2004, 09:28 AM #31
Find a booty call woman, one you can call up whenever for some booty. Second thing to do is go to a place where u can rent or buy dvd's and get a bunch of comedy movies. Thats it!!!
09-28-2004, 11:22 AM #32Originally Posted by Ripp3D
09-28-2004, 11:29 AM #33
get a bunch of juice and a bunch of sluts. you will be fine!!
after you do that start hanging out with your boys they will help you get ofver this chick. the best part of this whole thing is that the next girl that you make your girlfriend will be better than the last. that is how it seem to happen.
09-29-2004, 03:31 PM #34Anabolic Member
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- Mar 2004
Same thing happened to me dude. I dated a girl for 2 years and 7 months. I planned on marrying her. I am not joking when i say i was suicidal afterwards to the point that i had to see a phsyciatrist. Nothing hurts more, than when a girl who was a perfect virgin, who you wanted to keep that way, get's bipolar disorder, dumps you, tries to kill her mom, starts drinking, and THEN goes and ****s some dude from philadelphia after a month and sends you a valentine email telling you all about it!
It's okay to want to die, but just hold off on it. Survive one day at a time. After 3 months you will get to a point where your emotioons have destroyed you and you go emotionally numb. All the colors leave your life. No happiness, no sadness. The songs on the radio that reminded you of her and tortured you at work, have no effect., it's becomes just sound. All this is actually quite nice becuase it gives you a mental and physical break from feeling gross emotions all the time. After 6 months some color comes back into your life and you see yourself quite supprised at how well you are doing, even though deeep down the demons still exist.
After more time things become somewhat more normal, but if this was more than just your average breakup where you had alot riding on the relationship, like youre future, then it will always haunt you. But you will become functional again in time.
It is an interesting process to watch the changes happen in yourself, and it teaches you the nature of how your mind adapts to and accepts incredible things that were once uncomprehendable. In fact, it's almost like the stress response in muscles. A new workout will leave you sore, and after awhile the soreness reducess and goes away completely.
Ended relationships are much like deaths. But not always. I have had relationships that werem't "real" relationships were i was just in it for the pussy, and when it ended i was "****, now what do i do for ass?". A couple times i kinda liked the girl, and was a little bummed....but when it's "real" and you really thought you loved the person, and had time in with them, and figred them into your life, it is like a death. This was the only time I really loved a girl. The other times i really didn't give a shiit.
Personally, I won't ever be quite the same. You may not be, but who knows. It's been 10 months, and my demons are still there.
If i was you though i would get some pussy though. However, realize that the slut you bang is not any kind of substitute for what you had with your girl, she is merely a vagina, butthole and mouth, and you are simply indulging in your aniamalistic urges. It's a DISTRACTION,... NOT a SUBSTITUTION or REPLACEMENT. Get your premises correct.
It would be the same with drinking, it's indulgence in pleasure. I don't recomend drinking though as I got very depressed from it. But, i don't drink far often enough to know my limits, so try it but go slow, and don't get suicidal.
Eating is a nice distraction, but persanally i had no appetite when i had my break-up which is completely why it ****ed my bulking phase up.
(this next part may seem like a joke, but i'm 100% seriouse here.)
When i hit rock bottom, ground zero...only one thing stopped me from killing myself..maybe two.
Basically, i realized that if i kill myself, i will not have carried out all of the wicked sexual perversions that i deeply desire. I refused to leaave this earth without having more kinky sex and doin maximum perversions. Now maybe i'm a sex addict, but that's me. I also have no idea what happens to us when we die, so if reincarnation is true, then i might come back as some "normal" guy like some of my friends, who seem to think a girls anus is not a sexual organ and is icky. I knew if i was gonna get that **** done, it has to be now, as myself, not as my future fagget assed incarnation. I like the version of myself this time around. I like that i have perverted impulses, so i looked at this time out of my relationship, as an "ass fest".
And if god dont like it, he can kill me and send me straigh to hell.
The seconf thing that kept me from killing myself was that, when i am in a casket, i want to be huge. And i don't consider myself such yet. However my desire to be huge is mostly fuled by my desire for my muscles to open up more sexual options for me, so basically theyre the same reason, kinda.
Last edited by AnabolicBoy1981; 11-03-2004 at 04:59 PM.
10-06-2004, 08:23 PM #35
get a new girl there everywhere bro
11-01-2004, 11:20 PM #36Member
Originally Posted by Testsubject
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- May 2004
11-02-2004, 10:26 PM #37
i was in same situation, just find someone else to kinda help u get over her, thats what i did. when ur with someone else, it takes ur mind off ur ex. go out with ur freinds and keep urself busy..ull be aight!
11-02-2004, 11:08 PM #38Junior Member
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- Jun 2002
bro...same **** happened to me...my girl broke up with me over a bull**** reason but i just focused more on my training and now i've leaned out big time and i've also kept myself occupied with things to do, best way to go about it...its been a few months now but i still can't do anything with another girl because i am still hung up on my ex...****ed up feeling...remember to stay strong bro and keep ur cool.
11-03-2004, 08:54 PM #39Originally Posted by Testsubject
I second this GET BIG!!! I too had the exact same experience. After my first cycle I ran into my ex at the gym of all places and I was wearing underarmour I'd kill to see the look on her face! PRICELESS. I ended up hitting it and quitting it that night
11-04-2004, 03:43 PM #40
hey same boat! 2years of everything went down the drain. we were like tide as hell we were together every minutes almost. its five months and I still think abouther I have many threats here talking about her. I also found a another relationship which lasted two months (rebound effect I bet) then she didn't call me at one day for no reason during pct. I am telling it was hell I thought about things like suicide but heck I started using st.john word and man everything seems gloomy. both of them were gorgous and I am telling u that it was hard. but I have kept my head over the of water with working out dieting and st.john's word . I know steriods has a bad rap but it has helped at lot towards my troubles. Things have turned now. I am close to going to medschool and man lately I am picking up girls like candy. It becomes easier trust me it will change. something that might seem surprising is that you will actually be more successfull alone then some chicks bogging you know what I mean
Last edited by 2timer; 11-04-2004 at 03:45 PM.
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