my last resort ! please Read !

Dear readers.

i would like to start off by saying that this site is great,second everything and anything that i'm about to tell u is 100% true because i want ur full honesty and advice and 3rd please give me real answers and opinions and take in consideration what im going through.
I m 5'4 134 lb and my matabolism is very fast i can eat anything and not gain weight.It is very hard for me to gain weight do to this and i spend alot of $ on food, also i get sick of the same food very easily.I have been working out for about 3 yrs on and off. I go through a period where i go to the gym for a while then i fall off do to stress in my life and unhappyness whether it be my gilrfriend, job and family.i lose focus.Also when im upset i dont get hungry and i dont eat well thats where my big problem is too.this year i was good for six months , i was very focus and deticated and the result i gain 10 lbs whithout no roids( I was 128 when i started) or nothing just amino acids,glutamine and a little bit of creatin but not alot like twice a week since i felt i was gaining weight without it i did not feel a need to take as much.Until it got like april i took roids for the first time.I did a six week cycle ( because I was scared) I took d-bols ( 100 pills) and deca 2 cc's it work well but here comes the problem.With me my body gets strong naturally , alot for my size i was benching 185 before roids and 225 after but iwas getting too strong to fast that my joints were hurting and everyone at my gym that knows me told the same thing.( we are very open with each other at the gym when it comes to roids since everyone does it).i could bench more but my joints would not let me and i was only in my 4 th week which sucked because i had to stop.My boy chris is certify trainer and he has alot good info and so does my boy Wil.they are big and srong guys and i ve known them all my life.I follow there advice to stop and i did.Now ive lost alot weight about 8-10 lbs ( i was 144 when i was on roids).I have not work out in about 4 months.I was turn off because of what happen and i was scared to hurt my body.I know i need decipline and i can do it the problem is eating and gaining , i spent alot of $ and time on food and sometimes i work so much that i loose track.There is not alot to eat around my job ,only Macdonalds , chinese food, spanish and italian...and they all taste nasty around there and that what turns me off, the food is disgusting.i know i wrote alot but please give me ur honest opinion especially people with my matabolism. OH I almost forgot also i have tendanidess on my left hand and now im getting it on my right anything that i can do besides getting the brace for the forearm? I wanna do roids again but i know it will hurt my froearms when i start lifting so what can i do ?! please help !!!!!!

sinecerly jay
ps: height :5'4
lbs: 134
body type: Eckto
body fat : 10 %

Where to start?
Tendonitis- I have this in my knees and the only thing I can do is take an anti-inflammatory and ice them down. Also when it flares up real bad I don't go heavy on legs if I lift at all.
Eating- Eat clean and eat alot. You have to force yourself to eat whether you're hungry or not I eat every 3 hours on the dot, NO exceptions. As for getting bored with food be creative, use different seasonings. You have to have alot of discipline and patience.
Steroids- this is something you're going to have to research and decide for yourself.
Stress- Well, there's different things you can do, for me just working out is my stress reliever or playing with my little girl. You have to just find what works for you. Try going for walks, yoga(don't laugh it actually works!!), meditation, finding someone to just talk about what's bothering you with.
I hope any of this will help you and keep researching and looking around on AR, this place helped me and it can help you to. Good luck with working this all out!

Well, first off I'm going to guess that you are significantly less than 20 years old, which in most cases is a good indicator that you shouldn't juice. You can probably get all the gains you want by working out and eating on a consistent basis, and things like giving up on your workout because of stress is a copout excuse. In fact, I usually workout much harder when I'm stressed, it's a way of "letting it all out." I think YOU need to evaluate what you really want to get out of your workouts, and if it really means that much to you, then you should be able to keep a consistent diet and workout routine. I don't want to sound harsh, but you sound like you don't really know what you want, so it's hard to for us to help you.