marcus300 interviews Shol'va

marcus300: Which country are you from and how do you like living there?
Shol'va: I live in the middle of the midwest in Kansas City in Missouri, USA. I grew up in Southwest Missouri, in a small community where everybody knew everybody's business, or so they thought. I went to a community college for one semester shy of 2 years, and dropped out as I got a full time job up north.

marcus300: What do you do for a living?
Shol'va: I work in maintenance at an American Auto Assembly Plant in the area. There are only 2 in the area, Ford and GM, and that's all I'm saying.

marcus300: Are you married and do you have children?
Shol'va: Well, I'll answer this in a short manner as I'll describe more later. No and No

marcus300: When did you start having homosexual tendencies?
Shol'va: It happened early in my life. I was about 13 going through puberty when I started having those feelings that most little boys have about little girls, but I was having them about a few of my male school mates. And what's weird is that even my dreams were all about being with boys. Now that I think about it, I never dreamed of sex with a girl. Weird huh? All of my wet dreams were of guys. It was something I had no control over and at that age I felt scared to death of those feelings, too afraid to tell anyone at that time. Not to mention going to church on Sundays at a Pentecostal church where they preach fire and brimstone and the preacher is pounding on the pulpit yelling to the congregation about the evils of homosexuality and how they were all worthy of death and damnation. That scared the bee-jesus out of me. So i would pray at night asking god to change me and make me be like the other boys, asking him what it was that I had done in my life that was so bad, he would allow this to happen to me. I never got an answer, so I just had to deal with the cards I was dealt in life and learn to lie for self protection. So I lied a lot and denied who I was if accused, which hardly ever happened, and I'd just throw the accusations back at the person. I mean, who at that age would want to be so different from the norm, and be ridiculed and beat up for being different? Not me so I kept my mouth shut and lied. Since I don't look, sound, or act gay in real life, I can slide without anyone knowing who I am. Those who I tell say wow, you don't seem gay, I'd have never known. I liken being gay to being a spy. No one knows who you are unless you tell them. When straight friends tried to set me up on blind dates with a girl, or double dates with one, I was always too busy or going out of town, or some excuse. Funny thing is that some of these straight friends are the ones who experimented with me early on. So they knew, but they also knew I knew about them, so they never squealed on me. Imagine never being able to share a major part of who you are, seeing your friends bring dates to the prom, but you don't dare. This crap eats a person up if they allow it to and I understand why the suicide rate among young gay men is so high. There's a lot more, but I don't want to bore you all. So I'll just say that after college, I moved to Kansas City to be free from prying eyes and to try to figure out how to live my life. I'm coming out of a 3 year relationship, yeah with another guy, cheating issues, not on my part. But life goes on.

marcus300: Did you ever consider suicide or harming yourself in anyway due to the stresses of being gay when you was younger?
Shol'va: Absolutely! There have been a few times in my past, once when I ended my first real relationship. I didn't know how to deal with all the feelings at that age. And with no one I could trust to talk to, it got pretty dicey. I wasn't out very far and my B/F at the time was totally out and I couldn't deal with people knowing we were not only gay but a gay couple. It ruined the relationship.I think that a lot of teens go through a phase of I'd be better off dead, whether straight or gay at some point growing up, but growing up gay really throws an intense added pressure and with people around you in everyday life commenting negatively, it adds to self doubt and lack of self worth. I turned to drugs to cope and deaden the pain, but quickly realized that when you sober back up you still have your problems. So I cleaned myself up and confronted my sexuality and am now happy with who I am. Thankfully nowadays there are so many more positive gay role models to show us that we are not alone
and gay is ok.

marcus300: So you have never told your parents that your gay? obviously you think their reaction would be negative but how do you know if you have never told them?
Shol'va: Well, lets see. It's funny you ask me this. I was about 20 If memory serves, and I had made up my mind it was time to have the talk with my parents and get it all off my chest and out in the open. So I headed down to the farm to talk to them. It was a long drive with all kinds of thoughts running through my head. Worst case, they'll disown me I thought, but I finally had built the courage to tell them. So I get there late at night around 10pm and walk in and they are sitting, watching tv. So I sit down and we are having small talk and just as I get ready to tell them, Showtime on dishnetwork is on and up pops on The series Queer As Folk and I'm slumping down in my chair as they are watching this and going off about how disgusting and sick and perverted these guys are. Needless to say I never told them.

marcus300: Have you ever been with a woman?
Shol'va: If you mean sexually, no never have. Not that the thought repulses me or anything, as I really like women, just not sexually. We have a lot in common, we both like men. lol But I'm like a sexually secure straight man, only the gay equivalent, and have always known what I like. Besides, I never wanted to be one of those guys who hides behind a woman for a cover only for her to find out later and break her heart, because I was too insecure to admit who I am and just used her. It's not fair to the woman or me. I have a few straight guy friends who are married and know I'm gay and it's funny as they have no problem with me going out alone with their wives. Actually, I think they prefer me to go with them so I can keep an eye on them, and they know I'm totally harmless, no worries from any sexual advances. lol

Members question: Are you the man or the woman in a relationship? or does it matter?
Shol'va: Nope it doesn't matter. In same sex relatioships we are both guys and share in responsibilites, and whether you are a top or bottom in bed doesn't make you the little woman of the house. The roles are completely out the window when it comes to gay relationships verses straight.

marcus300: What are your current stats and what would be your ideal ones?
Shol'va: I'm 5'8", approx 173lbs. I think when I originally joined here I put my weight at 170, but at the time it was only 163. I'm probably in the neighborhood of 11-12% B/F as I was lean starting out. I'll answer the ideal ones in the next question.

marcus300: How old are you?
Shol'va: I'm 26

marcus300: How long have you been training and what are your goals?
Shol'va: I've been half azzed training for a couple of years prior to the last 3, and the last 18 months I have gotten a lot more serious about it. up until I was 23, I was real skinny. My ideal stats are the ones I'm working on now. I want that distinctive V-Shape in the torso, 6 pack abs, and better biceps, but don't want to go all crazy. I'll be happy at 185lbs. I just want to look good for self esteem and self confidence issues I still deal with. I tried out for football in high school but they always wanted to use me as the football so I switched to track instead. Besides, football has a clique to it and I wasn't the big jock so I didn't fit in easily there. I had more fun in track anyways.

marcus300: Have you ever taken steroids, if so what and how many cycles?
Shol'va: Well, since they are illegal here in the states, I'll say no. But, my best friend who is the spitting image of me has done 3-12 week cycles of pharm grade Test-C so far, and I plan on, er um I mean he plans on doing a few more. I want to add one thing here.(insert butt kissing here) Since I have been going regularly to the gym the last 18 months and have seen first hand how hard and dedicated you pros go at this, I have developed the utmost admiration and respect for you guys here.

Members question: What kind of workout regimen and diet he follows, is he a pretty dedicated guy? What are his overall fitness goals, short term and/or longterm? AAS use?
Shol'va: I workout a minimum of 5 days a week, but drive myself to go seven for extra cardio. I'm not 100 percent dedicated as I need someone to push me harder and lack that support system. My goal is to get those sixpack abs, bigger guns and that distinctive v-shape in my upper back without going all crazy and blowing up big time. I don't want to be huge, just shredded and built. I wont say I've done 3 cycles of Test-C, 600mg weekly, 12 week cycles, since it's against the law here in the states, but you get the drift.

Members question: Just for a moment, consider yourself a single man, meaning not in a relationship or bound to any particular individual. And an extremely attractive young female approaches you, starts flirting with you, showing you interest in a bedroom kind of way. If I remember correctly, you said you've either never had a girlfriend before, OR never been with a woman before. So in the above scenerio, how would you handle this situation? Another way of saying, is that you proclaim to not have ANY attraction for the fairer sex?
Shol'va: First off I'd ask her if she had any brothers as hot as she is. She would get the message. lol I'm attracted to women, just not sexually. They just don't have the right equipment for me. Both women and I have the same thing in common...we both like men.

Members question: As a young man, what are some of your goals in life?
Shol'va: At the moment, it is preparing to become single again. So once more I'll be looking for mister right instead of mister right now. Another goal is to become financially secure, travel to Europe and Austrailia, stay healthy and keep on my workout regiman. Summer is fast approaching and since I'll be single again, I have to be in top shape as gay men are much more judgemental on looks.

marcus300: What have been your happiest times of your life?
Shol'va: Early prepubescent childhood and moving to the big city sowing my wild oats.

marcus300: What have been the lowest times of your life?
Shol'va: Right now, ending a 3 year relationship, losing my father earlier this year without him knowing that part of me. Having to lie about who I am to my family and select friends, not being able to share a part of my life with them because of their feelings and views on this subject. Trying to get straight guys to understand they have nothing to fear from me or anyone gay. That just because a gay guy looks at you doesn't mean he wants to jump your bones, and besides, those guys need to change their attitude and think of it as, hey, both guys and girls are scoping me out. I must be one hot mofo, and take it as a compliment instead of going all alpha. And if one did hit on you, all you would have to say is, "I'm flattered but I don't bat for your team." No need to break his face and make him possibly lose the use of one eye. Just Sayin..lol

Members question: Admittedly, we are a "strange mix" of people here, from all over the world, all ages, sexes, professions, orientations, income levels, races... we are as diverse as it gets. Although we all seem to have weightlifting as a common interest, at times it also seems like we are universes apart in our differences as well. What are your impressions along these lines? Do you think we are sometimes too "PC"? Do you sometimes feel we are at a tipping point and say..."Cut the BS guys. Let's just go about our business and not be so sensitive about every little half comment anyone makes?"
Shol'va: All I can say is Amen ! Yeah at times we all seem to get a little too uptight over each others responses on the board. But I think it has more to do with what we are thinking at the time verses how it is interpreted by others. What one person posts thinking it to be humorous ends up ticking someone else off who may take it in a negative way. That's where we need to step back and think a little more before rashly responding to what someone has posted. but I guess it all comes down to human nature.

marcus300: When was the last time you cried?
Shol'va: This year at my father's funeral.

marcus300: If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional. with whom would it be?
Shol'va: Tough decision. I'd say a younger Brad Pitt when he was around my age now, with his looks and fame. Since it would just be for a week, I'd like to know first hand if blonds really do have more fun!

Members question: If we all ask you nicely and tell you we love you will you please let the zyzz thread die?
Shol'va: Oh come on now, you know you love the Zyzz-ness. Actually I've slowed down considerably in my posting, but the aussies love him so that they want to keep it going. I wont mention any names stevey6t9. lol

Members question: Do you have any favorite body builders old ones or current? and why
Shol'va: If there is one pro bodybuilder I like and would most want to look like it would be Bob Paris. I admire his body symmetry and honesty in coming out of the closet as a pro bodybuilder at the height of his career. Unfortunately it ruined his career due to admitting he was gay.

marcus300: Why do you post so many gay pictures all the time?
Shol'va: Hmmmm, you mean besides DSM? I like to look at nice hard bodied guys in various stages of undress. And you straight guys have the Dukkits House Of Whores thread for your ladies pics, and since this site is basically 99.997% straight, with 3 exceptions, DSM, Nicotine and I. However, I suspect there are a few others here who keep it on the downlow. So, since there are so few of us, we have to work overtime posting in DSM's thread to compete with you all. You have no idea how many pics I have to go through and reject because they don't meet the prurient interest of this forum. lol And not to mention the fact that these posted gay pics here give some of the guys an excuse if they get caught looking at them all they have to say is, hey I'm subscribed to this BB forum and there are a couple of gay guys there who post these random gay pics and I never know what is going to pop up on my screen when I log in. lol And finally, I post them to piss off the few homophobes that might be around here. Hey, just winning friends and influencing people here.

Members question: How do you think you compare to DSM's gayness?
Shol'va: I think I'm a little more reserved than him. And even though he has gone where I have not, horizontal polka with women, I think I'm still on par with him.

Members question: Do you think Dec11 is actually Zyzz?
Shol'va: No he is more of a Zyzz eliminator. Zyzz is Dec11's version of Osama Bin Laden and he is the Navy Seal going after him. That's one bloke that Dec would like to choke.

Members question: According to the Zyzz buttbros, does buttsecks really feel like taking a giant dump?
Shol'va: It depends on the size of the penis.

Members question: Are you a giver or a taker?
Shol'va: In life i'm a giver, but if your question to me is about sex whether i'm a top or a bottom, a pitcher or a catcher, I'm more of a bottom, but it all depends on the guy i'm with. If he is a bottom also and i'm in to him, i'll top. There are no set rules in gay sex. It's whatever feels good at the time.

Members question: Does it not hurt having a hard penis up your bum?
Shol'va: Try it sometime and see for yourself. You just can't pop it right in like a womans vag. You must first use some lubricant and slowly work it in. Once the anus gets accustomed to it, your GTG. You just might enjoy it. There are all kinds of sensations in the anus associated with the penis stimulation during sex and heightens the feeling during orgasm. If you've ever noticed sometimes during taking a dump you get aroused, well similar principal.

marcus300: What do you look like?
Shol'va I'm not going to say I am Mr. GQ. I'm not, but I'd say I look like the guy next door type. I'm 5'8", brown hair, and blue eyes. part German and part French. I've been told I'm easy on the eyes, but guys will say anything to get into your pants. You bastids! lol

Members question: How did you feel about getting an extra 1000 posts all of the sudden?
Shol'va: I know who asked this one. At first I felt bad because of whose posts count it came from, but since she got hers all back, it's all good. Hey at least I was honest in coming forward with where they really went to. Got to give me credit for that one. I still need to come up with a title now that I have reached the 4,000 mark. I may have to start a thread asking for suggestions. lol And now you all have had a peek inside Sholvas world, whether you wanted to or not.

Members question: You and DSM and Zyzz are in a jail cell naked... what happens?
Shol'va: We all play a game called pokie-man and hide the weinie.

Members question: What have you learned during your time as a lounge lizard?
Shol'va: I have learned that there are a great multitude of opinions different from my own, each unique in their own way. And to not be so judgemental on things I don't understand. And that for the most part, at the end of the day we all want to fit in here. We are all one big dysfunctional family here. That whether you are straight, gay or somewhere in between, we all have our struggles in life, we all laugh, cry, have relationship-financial-sex-drug-whatever, issues and we a more alike than not.

marcus300: Why did you pick Shol'va as your screen name and what does it mean?
Shol'va: I'm a Sci-Fi fanatic and Stargate SG-1 was my main show. Shol'va is a derogatory term they call the character Teal'c on the show.At the time I used it, I didn't really understand the meaning on the show, but translated from SG speak it means Traitor.I just liked it cause it was unique, not that I'm a traitor or anything. lol

Members question:Who would win in a battle: Teal'c or Bra'tac?
Shol'va: Hmmm I wonder who asked this one, Boy, tough call as Bra'tac taught Teal'c everything he knows, however with Bra'tac's age on him, I'd give the edge to my man Teal'c.

Members question: Is it not considered rape if you yell suprise!?
Shol'va: Not if they smoke afterwards.

marcus300: If you won $20 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money?
Shol'va:With 20 mil I could turn Hazard Gay For Pay. lol. No, I'd live well and help others also. Friends and family
and strangers in need.

marcus300: What makes you angry?
Shol'va: Groups like the Westboro Idiots who protest using religion as a tool to further their hate.Haters who don't even know you but, because you are different, its ok to hate you.

Members question: Is it only gay if you give anal or recieve it?
Shol'va: It's also gay if you give oral or receive it or are gay for pay

marcus300: How many close friends do you have?
Shol'va: Close friends, 2, but I have many regular friends.

Members question: Do you consider yourself a good decorator?
Shol'va: I'm no Nate Burkas, but do pretty good. I'm more of a type who gets dirty working on cars though.

marcus300: On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you?
Shol'va: Right now,5-6. Like so many here on this forum, I'm also going through a separation.

Members question: Do you dress impeccably?
Shol'va: I wish. Now that I'm about to be back on the market I will.

marcus300: Describe yourself in 3 words?
Shol'va: Under normal situations....Happy, Witty, Generous.

marcus300: Tell our readers 2 things what would shock us about your or your life?
Shol'va: Man, that's tough. I don't think anything here would shock anyone about me.I'm more reserved in real life, yeah you buy that don't ya, and don't stand out-draw attention to myself. I don't mind getting dirty and greasy working on cars.

marcus300: Name the members who you would most like to meet?
Shol'va: Well, it goes without saying DSM, but I'd also like to meet KP. I really like his wit and attitude about things. We both have that smartazz attitude part in common. I just restrain myself more than him. There are several others here but to name just a few more would be Stack_it, Dec11, and last but not least, " The Duke Of Hazzard." He has that certain "Je Ne say Quoi" about him. but, it's best I stay away from Haz as I'd probably end up very broke, but happy. Must be a common guy thing, straight or gay, we always want what we can't have. I remember when I first came to this forum and started posting and I wrote this humorous legal disclaimer parody concerning DSM's thread and it seemed no one got the joke. And I thought, oh crap tough crowd in here. what have I got myself into, and it took a while before most would tolerate me here.
http://forums.steroid.com/showthread...ead&highlight=
Funny thing is, it is DSM's thread that got me hooked here in the first place. I was reading up on all things steroid and eventually clicked on the AR-lounge and saw this thread called "Ask Dsm Anything" thinking it was on the subject of steroids and whoa. So I figured if he was here, that it was an all inclusive forum and that this is where I want to be. I've had some speed bumps along the way, but basically you guys are alright in my book. Not to mention this is the internet and what we say is not always the way people take our posts, so when someone is joking, someone else may take it as an attack. So that takes a while to figure all out when your a noobie, just starting out on a forum. Besides, skepticism and getting called on when your new is an initiation here. If you can't take it and dish it back without going overboard and get past the ban button, then you usually are accepted into the fold.
One of the exciting things about being on this forum is being able to communicate with people from all over the world, with different takes and opinions on topics, helping me to rethink my own. well, with the exception of that Zyzz Crew, which is our running joke here. No offense to you Aussies as we have Justin Bieber, so it all balances out in the karma thing.

marcus300: What are your plans for the future?
Shol'va Find a new replacement B/F, the old one needs replacing stat. lolTravel to Austrailia to see my buds Zyzz and Turk. jk, but seriously I'm working on
a backup plan for another job in case the Auto Industry goes south again.

marcus300: 3 wishes, what would you wish for?
Shol'va: To find my true soul mate. Finanacial security. And health

marcus300 THANKYOU FOR BEING OPEN AND HONEST