Thread: Marriage.
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06-15-2004, 12:41 PM #1
Marriage.
Well I've been with my GF for 3 years now. We have been through a crap load together. She is really wanting to marry me, and I love her with all my heart but I don't know if I can go through with it. I can picture myself with her in 20-30 years but **** there goes my freedom out the freaking window. IDK what I should do.... She is drop dead gorgeous IMO and she has the personality to go along with it. But, she is incredibly hard-headed just like me. So we do tend to have our fair share of arguments. What would you guys do?
I'll find a pic of her. **** I love her....
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06-15-2004, 12:43 PM #2
Check your gut feeling...it's always right.
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06-15-2004, 12:44 PM #3
This is the latest pic that Ive taken from her (last night)
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06-15-2004, 12:53 PM #4
How will getting married change the amount of freedom you have compared to now? Is she going to suddenly become controlling because you get married? Marriage doesn't change people. Some people wish that it does because they don't open their eyes to what their partner is REALLY like and are disapointed when marriage doesn't turn their partner into a saint. But if your GF is as good as you say she is, she'll be just as good as your wife.
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06-15-2004, 12:56 PM #5
Well Ive been living with her for 2 years now. So you can basically say that we're married already. It just isnt legal yet It's just that I don't want to let her down.
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06-15-2004, 01:01 PM #6
If you can see yourself in 20-30 years then I think you have already answered your own question. If your concerned about her hard-headedness you just need to remember that make-up sex is some of the best. Too is you have been living with her for 2 years than it's all done except for the names. Personally I would try to imagine life without her and life with her 20-30 yrs down the road and see which one makes you happier. Good luck.
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06-15-2004, 01:04 PM #7
Thanks man. I guess I already knew my answer. I just needed reassurance.
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06-15-2004, 01:07 PM #8Originally Posted by Maraxus
Hey bro, speaking from experience here. I lived with my x wife for 2 years. We got married and we were only married for 5 months. I was the one who filed if it makes any difference......Moral to my story is.......people do NOT change once u get married. I was hoping things would be different after, but they only got worse and i didnt want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
If u have any doubts then i recommend not getting married and moving on. However, if shes a good person, cares about u and wants to have a better life together then IMHO get married have lotz of babies and live happly ever after. Because there are VERY FEW good ones left out there. Trust me i know what im talking about!! I wish u nuttin but the best bro!! Good luck either way!
OG
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06-15-2004, 01:14 PM #9
D@mn bro she is too cute I can tgive you any help on marriage but I have a good eye for women. You got it dicked int he looks department bro
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06-15-2004, 01:20 PM #10
I'm 38 and the older you get and the more miles you get on you, you start to realize things. In this world it is almost impossible to find unconditional love or friendship, plus someone who will put up with our B.S. all of the time. Sounds like you've got it all and you can keep it by being married, it doesn't have to stop there.
Just like your two year relationship Marriage takes work, sometimes more than we think it should, but it is worth it. You get out what you put in. Man she is a pretty lady and all women are stubborn ,ALL! Don't let the laid back ones fool you they are laying out their man trap and when they get you their fangs come out.
It sounds like your gal doesn't put up with a lot of your crap and she shouldn't have to. To some extent any guy who is in a healthy marraige will tell you that his woman pretty much runs the show (until it gets to major issues or the sh** hits the fan) and that's okay we need good women to keep us in line.
Think about it in the last 2 years how many times has she prevented you from showing your ass or doing something stupid because of your hot head? I'll bet a few!
If you don't marry her I will! Oh I can't, I'm already married but if I wasn't I would!
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06-15-2004, 01:26 PM #11
Guys you all bring up really good points. I am going to go through with it. Thanks MBH, B_M, Micro, OG, Capt, and 1Vic. Really appreciated guys. Nice to know I've got some friends on here
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06-15-2004, 01:53 PM #12Originally Posted by Maraxus
Hey bro, im local to u....She have any friends or better yet, a sister...
OG
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06-15-2004, 01:57 PM #13
bro u just said u think shes hot, u love her and personality to go with it all. **** bro those kind of women dont grow on trees. Dont screw something up just because u think you'll lose ur freedom. Thats nonsence... unless she is a control freak or something.
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06-15-2004, 02:59 PM #14Originally Posted by juicehoe
Exactly.... if you have been with her for 3 years you should know by now how much freedom you will have if married. How she treats you now is an important factor to look at before thinking about marriage. You said she has been great and can picture yourself with her down the road, then go for it. She is beautiful, and if she has the personality you say she does hold on to her. It's not easy to find women like that.
<<LMO>>
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06-15-2004, 03:14 PM #15
well.........
Originally Posted by Maraxus
TheInfamousApe
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06-15-2004, 03:16 PM #16
Well, I can speak from experience and TRUST ME, things change. I don't know what it is when you marry a girl, but the controlling factor sets in. I don't know why women want to get married sooo much. NEVER EVER AGAIN!
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06-15-2004, 03:23 PM #17
try this, suggest an open marriage. you'll still have your freedom to fool around as long as there's no feelings, and she'll be able to do the same. if you're uncomfortable with the idea of her foolin' around, it's not ok for you to want to do the same... if this is what you mean by freedom? maybe i'm way off.
i've been with my girl for three and a half years, but have been married two of those because she is an immigrant from germany and to stay here with me we had to get married. she is just as stubborn if not more than me. we fight every day but it's still great. i told her she can fool around if it makes her feel better in that moment but that hopefully she'll come back to me... i feel and act the same, i'll knock down somethin cute and clean at the bar if the time is right, but i know i'll never find a better woman than the one i've got at home.
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06-15-2004, 03:52 PM #18
Bro,
I been Married 11 years to a terrifc lady! I think her best asset is that she always makes me feel like a man, maybe becuase I always treat her like the great gal she is!
I'm one of the lucky ones!
Sounds like your relationship has that potential too! Its work to keep a relationship going well, but it can be so worth the effort!
MJ
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06-15-2004, 04:52 PM #19Originally Posted by OGPackin
And Maraxus.......Marriage is hard as hell bro....something happens to a woman once she knows shes got you for life........the pussy isnt quite the same...you will probaly only get blowjobs for the 1st three months of marriage tops.. whats yours becomes hers and whats hers remains hers...but other than that...it sucks....lmaoLast edited by mass junkie; 06-15-2004 at 04:55 PM.
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06-15-2004, 04:53 PM #20
Ummm...no joking here...haven't I seen her on the net.
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06-15-2004, 04:54 PM #21Originally Posted by mass junkie
OG
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06-16-2004, 08:39 AM #22Member
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Originally Posted by Money Boss Hustla
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06-16-2004, 08:47 AM #23
Marriage. Been there, done that, don't think I'll be doing it again.
But I've heard you should never say never.
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06-16-2004, 10:20 AM #24AR Hall of Fame
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Remember this!!
1) Engagement ring
2) Wedding ring
3) Suffering!
~SC~
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06-16-2004, 10:36 AM #25Originally Posted by SwoleCat
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06-16-2004, 01:15 PM #26
Do you know the leading cause of divorce???? MARRIAGE!!!!
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06-16-2004, 01:23 PM #27
I am with the guys that say things change man. I am new to the board, but thought I might help on this one. I dated my current wife for 7 yrs, lived with her for 2 before marriage. I have now been married less than 1 yr (it will be 1 yr the end of this month), and things are totally fuc*ed up. Women change, men do not. I am not telling you what to do, that is up to you. But know, just cause you date, live with each other, and know eachother like the back of your hand, it doesn't mean **** until you take the plunge. Good luck in whatever you do.
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06-16-2004, 10:03 PM #28
get some time..alone............ like by yourself....
2 hours.. relax......... and imagine this..........
ask yourself this one question.......
If I won the lottery today... $21,000,000 is this the woman i would want to spend that money with....... and go through all this with........
If the answer is yes......... then go for it........
It's what did it for me.............
Originally Posted by MaraxusThe answer to your every question
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06-16-2004, 11:33 PM #29AR Hall of Fame
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Originally Posted by spywizard
~SC~
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06-16-2004, 11:49 PM #30
marriage is a beautiful thing...if it dont work out just plan ahead and get a prenup agreement...
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06-17-2004, 12:08 AM #31
Don't get married cause you don't want to let her down or because you feel that you should or have to. You should only get married if that is what you truely want to do. If you don't think you want to then I think thats your answer. You should know you want to.
I'm one of those people who never want to get married, but if I knew my bf wanted to get married because he thought it was what I really wanted then I would want to marry him less. It isn't so much that she just wants to get married to you, its even more so that she wants you to want to marry her if that makes any sense.- Sweat plus sacrifice equals success. - Charlie Finley
- It doesn't get easier, you just get faster. - Greg LeMond
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06-17-2004, 12:26 AM #32
I was with my girlfriend for just under 8 mo and Im head over heels for her, and last weekend I went to her family reunion in WI (she live 2.5 hrs from me and reunion was 4.5hrs from her). I had a great time, all her family loved me and said to marry her as soon as we are done with school. (were both 19 sophs in college so it was a lil wierd but a nice thought) I come home on monday and that nite she calls and says pretty much she wants the summer to be single again and "see if theres any thing more out there for me, it could be 3weeks, maybe more, maybe less" and the best part is she wants to be able to go to a party and be able to flirt with, dance with, or kiss another guy and not worry about me and wants me to do the same things with other girls. You could imagine my level of WTF when she was tellin me this. I dunno what Im gonna do when she comes back later this summer and wants to get back together. A cupple friends said to make her sweat and want more time to test the waters, I thought that might work then shell want me more or sumthin. Thoughts??
That or when she intros me to her new "boyfriend" take one look at him (who will most likely be scrawny) let out a healthy guffaw and walk away.
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06-17-2004, 07:24 AM #33Retired Vet
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Originally Posted by Maraxus
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06-17-2004, 07:42 AM #34
Yes.
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06-17-2004, 07:43 AM #35Retired Vet
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Originally Posted by Maraxus
If that's her...u did well bro!
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06-17-2004, 07:45 AM #36
Thanks I had her pic as my tar on BDBB but changed it to the raving lunatic hyper retarded kid smacking the drums......
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06-17-2004, 07:47 AM #37Retired Vet
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Originally Posted by Maraxus
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06-17-2004, 07:49 AM #38
Nice to be recognized Oh just for those who dont know, this is the little drummer tard.
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06-17-2004, 09:04 AM #39Originally Posted by NIU ROTC
Maraxus,
Sorry to get off your thread a little, but this quote caught my eye. Dude, that sucks! I have been there and it is like being between a rock and a hard place. If that's what she wants, give her the time, but make sure you take it too. Sometimes people don't realize things until it is gone. Do yourself one favor though, don't sit around and sulk. She isn't going to, so you shouldn't either. Go out, have a good time, and whatever happens happens. Things will work out one way or the other. Trust me NIU, it works that way. Good luck!
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06-17-2004, 12:03 PM #40
thanks for the feed back dude, Im doin better now. Good call on the not waitin around, cuz she wasted no time in the hunt for "something better." She told me she was goin to a party in another town a cupple nites ago, she said it prolly wouldnt be anything big but it prolly was. Im gonna try to make out with as many chicks as possible till she says she wants to get back together, then Ill say I need more time. Later, rinse, and repeat. Then hopefully before skool starts again we should be together cuz we live in the same dorm. (its reeeeel convienient late at nite)
If anyone else has similar or $hittier experience or advice, that would be great.
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