Humour

[Tock]

Just for kicks . . .
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Two satellite dishes meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

A man walks into a bar and insults the bartender. So the bartender reaches for a chain saw and cuts off the guy's arms. The guy insults him again, and the bartender cuts off his legs. The guy insults the bartender again, and off comes Mr. Winky. The guy insults the bartender yet again, and his torso is cut up into many pieces. The bartender looks at the guy's disembodied head and asked, "Got anything else to say?" The guy answers: "No, I better quit while I'm a head."

Two cannibals are eating a comedian. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'She's a Lady.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
Doc says "It's Not Unusual."

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the t-bones off the top shelf.
He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

A man has a sexual fetish where he imagines he's an ice cube tray. One night he goes to get a midnight snack and he actually turns into an ice cube tray. His wife goes to the freezer to get a snack and screams in horror when she finds here husband living out his fantasy. So, the couple goes to marriage counseling where the therapist askes the husband if he's ever been unfaithful in these fantasies. The man replies, "No, I'm usually a faithful husband but sometimes ice tray!"

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

[Prime]

what did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
Youre too young to smoke!

[daem]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

My favorite.



Good to see you Tock.

[Tock]

Good to see you Tock.

Ya, been trying to lease some retail space. Finding (and getting) the right spot ain't as easy as it looks. And trying to get real estate people to return your calls, sheesh . . . may as well try to get government employees to do ya a personal favor.
Haven't had as much time to peruse the boards, workouts AND nutrition have gone all to hell . . . once the biz is up and running, though, it's back to the old routine . . .
Take care, one and all . . .
-Tock

[Money Boss Hustla]

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'She's a Lady.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
Doc says "It's Not Unusual."