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Thread: What NOT To Say During Oral Sex...

  1. 07-17-2004, 12:44 AM #1
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    What NOT To Say During Oral Sex...

    So about an hour ago, I'm with my girl and she's a good girl. This week is her "woman week" which is **** for the most part, but she understands that I have needs. So she goes out of her to make sure I'm not straying anywhere else to get the goods. So while I'm on the recieving end of Oral Sex..we have this conversation...

    ME: ****...Fuuuuck...
    HER: Mmmm
    ME: I like that
    HER: MMMM
    ME: Shiiiiit!
    (She now gets up to talk to me)
    HER: I love you so much baby
    ME: You give the best head
    HER: You mean the world to me
    ME: It feels so good in your mouth
    HER: Baby, I'm serious. I really do care for you, I would do anything to please you...
    ME: I want to give it to you bad baby. I'm so horny.
    HER: Baby, did you hear what I said? I love you?
    ME: Why you stopping?

    End of blowjob. Result...

    Self Abuse tonight boys....
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  2. 07-17-2004, 12:54 AM #2
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    Thats Great! LOL
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  3. 07-17-2004, 12:55 AM #3
    LORDBLiTZ Guest
    If she loves you so much, will she take it in the poo?
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  4. 07-17-2004, 12:55 AM #4
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    thanks bro, I needed a good laugh.
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  5. 07-17-2004, 12:55 AM #5
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    Funny thing is, this was the EXACT conversation. I didn't realize how much of an Asshole I am until I thought about it.
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  6. 07-17-2004, 12:56 AM #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by LORDBLiTZ
    If she loves you so much, will she take it in the poo?
    I'm pretty sure she would, but I'm not down with that. Ain't my thing bro. Just doesn't do anything for me?
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  7. 07-17-2004, 12:58 AM #7
    LORDBLiTZ Guest
    LOL, maybe a lil......A2M???
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  8. 07-17-2004, 01:00 AM #8
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    A2M = Never kissing, sharing a drink or even shaking hands with ever again.

    Ain't worth it.

    Hahaha....
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  9. 07-17-2004, 01:22 AM #9
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    how does love and giving head come up in the same conversation, only a women can do that...
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  10. 07-17-2004, 03:25 AM #10
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    hahahaha thats funny.
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  11. 07-17-2004, 03:46 AM #11
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    i just had flashbacks of my ex girlfriend... the best was when she'd start crying during sex because of how "happy" she was..... needless to say it got quite tiring
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  12. 07-17-2004, 03:57 AM #12
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    I was trying to find out what A2M meant and came across this interesting site . www.foulwords.com
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  13. 07-17-2004, 08:09 AM #13
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    That was classic.....lmao
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  14. 07-17-2004, 08:53 AM #14
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    hey ronny u should change the title to" what to say if u NEVER want head again"
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  15. 07-17-2004, 09:43 AM #15
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    Thats tooooooooooooo funny! But seriously, I also don't think much when I'm horny!
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  16. 07-17-2004, 12:51 PM #16
    Spyder Guest
    F that sh!t man ... Good Job Ronny...i dont know why chicks gotta ruin it with all the 'i love you' BS! ...they gotta ruin a good bj. sometimes a man just wants to lean back and have his d!ck worshipped w/o any of that mushy stuff. eh!
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  17. 07-17-2004, 12:53 PM #17
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    I would of said shut up and suck my dick bitch.
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  18. 07-17-2004, 01:00 PM #18
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    I have been married 21 years and one thing I learned, if you want your dick sucked, you have to talk nice, even if you are lying. Remember a hard cock has not concience. Say what you need to and the give her a towel. Then once you are thinking straight again, bring her to dinner, wine her, dine her and then go home and get it good again, especially if you are doing AS and can go again.
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  19. 07-17-2004, 01:04 PM #19
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    Ah, things were good again today. She's at work, I'm at home and our plans for tonight have changed a little.

    She called me an Asshole in the morning though, I just shrugged it off and ignored it. Then she called me an Asshole again for ignoring her.

    Women are a lose/lose situation. They say they never want you to lie to them, but if you don't tell them what they want to hear, you become a Jerk. Whaaat the fuuuuck.
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  20. 07-17-2004, 01:06 PM #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoNNy THe BuLL
    Ah, things were good again today. She's at work, I'm at home and our plans for tonight have changed a little.

    She called me an Asshole in the morning though, I just shrugged it off and ignored it. Then she called me an Asshole again for ignoring her.

    Women are a lose/lose situation. They say they never want you to lie to them, but if you don't tell them what they want to hear, you become a Jerk. Whaaat the fuuuuck.
    you have much to learn in the ways of the force my young padawan apprentice
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  21. 07-17-2004, 01:15 PM #21
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    Remember bro "I love you" are just words bro. Say it if it makes her finish. I have told so many bitches that and I meant it for those few seconds.
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  22. 07-17-2004, 01:29 PM #22
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    Talking

    I am female and of course some would get upset on the ways you talk like this but, THAT IS SO FUNNY, have a great nite
    Quote Originally Posted by RoNNy THe BuLL
    So about an hour ago, I'm with my girl and she's a good girl. This week is her "woman week" which is **** for the most part, but she understands that I have needs. So she goes out of her to make sure I'm not straying anywhere else to get the goods. So while I'm on the recieving end of Oral Sex..we have this conversation...

    ME: ****...Fuuuuck...
    HER: Mmmm
    ME: I like that
    HER: MMMM
    ME: Shiiiiit!
    (She now gets up to talk to me)
    HER: I love you so much baby
    ME: You give the best head
    HER: You mean the world to me
    ME: It feels so good in your mouth
    HER: Baby, I'm serious. I really do care for you, I would do anything to please you...
    ME: I want to give it to you bad baby. I'm so horny.
    HER: Baby, did you hear what I said? I love you?
    ME: Why you stopping?

    End of blowjob. Result...

    Self Abuse tonight boys....
    The gym is my church as my dumbell is my pillow!!!
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  23. 07-17-2004, 01:30 PM #23
    rugger2
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    HAHA thats great
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  24. 07-17-2004, 01:43 PM #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    you have much to learn in the ways of the force my young padawan apprentice
    My bruddah, I know plenty. I knows pleeeeeenty.
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  25. 07-17-2004, 01:58 PM #25
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    I dunno but ive been discovering lately that women like to be treated like **** sometimes. A few girls have told me reccently they hate when the guy never makes them upset or never says things that make them upset. Hey if they like the abuse Phuck, ill dish it out...
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  26. 07-17-2004, 02:00 PM #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beernutz
    I dunno but ive been discovering lately that women like to be treated like **** sometimes. A few girls have told me reccently they hate when the guy never makes them upset or never says things that make them upset. Hey if they like the abuse Phuck, ill dish it out...
    I been doing it for years. I got pussy a phone call away most of the time. Women love jerks and sh!t on nice guys.
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  27. 07-17-2004, 02:05 PM #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lozgod
    I been doing it for years. I got pussy a phone call away most of the time. Women love jerks and sh!t on nice guys.
    Ya bro its true. They play it if off like they want a nice guy.. Bull$hit they need someone who treats them like dirt.. they crave it.
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  28. 07-17-2004, 02:16 PM #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beernutz
    they crave it.
    Yeah they do. My theory is that they don't feel loved if you aren't giving them negative attention. I tell them to shut the **** up when they are trying to tell me stuff and they just get mad and sit there. If they didn't like it they would leave.
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  29. 07-17-2004, 02:17 PM #29
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    LOL its true its all true...
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  30. 07-17-2004, 02:20 PM #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beernutz
    LOL its true its all true...
    Don't get me wrong, you have to be nice in the beginning to get the panties, then after the first session out comes the real Lozgod. I never call you back, don't want to listen to anything you have to say. Make promises just to break them. I love the game. I laugh at my pussy ass boys that always cry about how their girls are doing them wrong.
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  31. 07-17-2004, 02:21 PM #31
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    NO joke Lozgod but the 3rd girl in from the left side in your avatar(blonde one) looks exactly like the X-girl like i mean a split image...And no im not trying to pull another Brian11..
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  32. 07-17-2004, 02:23 PM #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beernutz
    NO joke Lozgod but the 3rd girl in from the left side in your avatar(blonde one) looks exactly like the X-girl like i mean a split image...And no im not trying to pull another Brian11..
    Truth be told, I dont know any of those bitches, someone emailed me that pic telling me he took it.
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  33. 07-17-2004, 02:39 PM #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lozgod
    Don't get me wrong, you have to be nice in the beginning to get the panties, then after the first session out comes the real Lozgod. I never call you back, don't want to listen to anything you have to say. Make promises just to break them. I love the game. I laugh at my pussy ass boys that always cry about how their girls are doing them wrong.
    haha now this has to be the biggest line of BS ive read today..lol every guy will be a bitch for a certain woman, so dont play it off like you havnt... yea i think we all hide the asshole in us till we have em..
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  34. 07-17-2004, 06:59 PM #34
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    ronny....that was some smooth talkin there son
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  35. 07-17-2004, 07:53 PM #35
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    what I don't get is what woman actually expects her man to think anythin else while gettin head?!
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  36. 07-17-2004, 09:42 PM #36
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    I found your mistake... you answered her question..


    MMMM is what she should be saying..

    anything else.. she needs a hand on the back of the head...

    remember... she likes to have her hair pulled........
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  37. 07-18-2004, 07:25 AM #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by spywizard
    remember... she likes to have her hair pulled........

    Yea chics love that sh!t.
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  38. 07-18-2004, 09:42 AM #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by RON
    Remember bro "I love you" are just words bro. Say it if it makes her finish. I have told so many bitches that and I meant it for those few seconds.
    Ron...if you weren't a mod....and I didn't like you.... I'd give you a piece of my mind. !!!!!!
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

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  39. 07-18-2004, 09:45 AM #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    what I don't get is what woman actually expects her man to think anythin else while gettin head?!
    LOL we all know when the lower brain is engaged....the upper brain is not functional.
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  40. 07-18-2004, 10:38 AM #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    LOL we all know when the lower brain is engaged....the upper brain is not functional.

    exactly! always save that mushy crap for after the "after sex nap"
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