Getting Marryed in the Military

**wrstlr69sdnl** · 08-06-2004, 09:55 PM

OK heres my story as most of you know I have been out of action cause I joined the military/. Well here is the thing I never thought this would happen to me I dont know why but I met someone at COMM school and I dont know what it was about her but I liked her from the moment I saw here well. One weekend I stayed at the barracks cause the last weekend I almost got charged with UA because my friends wanted to stay in LA cause they didnt want to go back well anyways. That weekend I stayed I ended up talking to here alone I had know I idea she liked me then all of a sudden out of the blue she kisses me I didnt know what was going on. We never actually went out cause she thought she was going to get stationed in oki and would never see me again but it turns out she didnt so we started talking some more and started to got out well after a month or two of that I dicided to ask her to marry me I dont know wat it was but its just something about her that drives me wild and cant make me stop thinking about her. so I figured since I cant get her out of my mind and I dont want to let her go why not stay with her for the rest of me life. So I asked her and she said yes. But the thing is did I do the right thing I mean I hear the divorce rate in the military is really high and I dont want that to happen to me cause I love her to much so I am asking anyone who has been marryed in the millitary about there opinion or anyone who is marryed to someone in the millitary how was it and can it work most of the time. I know what some people are thinking why am I doing this but I have never really been the one to play the field I figured if you found someeone who you love why let it go hold on to it and see where it takes you thanks for the help

Wrstlr69sdnl

**Commando_Barbi** · 08-06-2004, 11:08 PM

I've seen many marriages in the military work and many fail. It isn't the military life that destroy's or makes a relationship, the people in the relationship do. It won't be easy, but no relationship is. If you are both in the service you have to know that there are going to be times when you may be separated by deployments or orders. Can you handle that? I think the advantage of marrying another military member is that she can understand when you have to go on deployment and hopefully will handle it better than many civilian women do.

If you love her, she loves you and the two of you are dedicated to a good strong marriage.....it can work.

**decadbal** · 08-07-2004, 08:45 AM

depending on your job.... id say dont do it.. when i was in the ARMY..lol i never had time to worry bout all that crap... i dont really have a clue how the marines are as far as trainin and spending time at home and not being deployed, so if u can hang for the time your in for, then i guess follow your heart, but your basing your entire life on feelings everyone gets over most the ppl they start datin..

**mass junkie** · 08-07-2004, 08:58 AM

just because shes your 1st piece of ass...doesnt mean you should go and do something stupid like get married.........give it some more time...move in together 1st for awhile and see how that pans out before setting a date...
Man you are a whipped bitch

**decadbal** · 08-07-2004, 08:59 AM

[QUOTE=
Man you are a whipped bitch

[/QUOTE]

thats a marine for ya...hahahahaha wheres steele he must see this attack

**Commando_Barbi** · 08-07-2004, 09:06 AM

Man you guys are negative!!!!!!!!!!

**mass junkie** · 08-07-2004, 09:09 AM

Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

Man you guys are negative!!!!!!!!!!

so you see no truth in my statement what so ever? im surprised

**Soldier of Misfortune** · 08-07-2004, 10:35 PM

I have worried about this issue alot ever since I contracted w/ ROTC. I hope whoever I am with at the time I get sent away or who ever I meet will understand and go with it. I have seen some horrible divorces and I know I am never getting divorced unless there is somthing SKEREOUSLY wrong.

**Commando_Barbi** · 08-07-2004, 10:48 PM

Originally Posted by mass junkie

so you see no truth in my statement what so ever? im surprised

I agree with your statement 100% that they need to make sure that they are right for one another. If its "right" now....it will be "right" later. No sense in rushing. I wish I had listened and not rushed....I wouldn't be a statistic right now.

I was referring more to the don't do it while you are in the military statements.

LM1332 · 08-07-2004, 10:50 PM

I personaly know two different couple well one now. One is striving and prospering had a kid and everything is ok couldnt be better. Another one well the guy married her she brain washed him he went nuts and now he is divorced but ok atleast. So its all about you two ppl if you guys make it happen then all props to you but now that you are douting it, try to revaluate your stand on the marriage. In my opinion if you asked her to marry you and she said yes you shouldnt be worried about anything. You are marrying her for the worst or the best.

**Benches505** · 08-08-2004, 05:29 AM

Slam on the brakes!! "after 1-2 months of that I asked her to marry me" <~~~Every new relationship is the most wonderful thing on earth..you don't even get to know the real person till after 6-8 months of spending a lot of time together.

What is done is done...you seem to love her and you also already asked her to marry you so.....

Long engagement!! At least 1 year if not 2
If the relationship can't make it through that then it won't make it through a marriage either.

Now for reality....you are young/enlisted and will probably tie the knot soon anyway so let me be the first to congratulate you and wish you the best of everything!

I will just hope lozgods stoned ass gets out of bed soon enough to talk you out of this madness.

**Devil Dog74** · 08-08-2004, 03:06 PM

Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

I've seen many marriages in the military work and many fail. It isn't the military life that destroy's or makes a relationship, the people in the relationship do. It won't be easy, but no relationship is. If you are both in the service you have to know that there are going to be times when you may be separated by deployments or orders. Can you handle that? I think the advantage of marrying another military member is that she can understand when you have to go on deployment and hopefully will handle it better than many civilian women do.

If you love her, she loves you and the two of you are dedicated to a good strong marriage.....it can work.

I'm sure he could handle that but i'm not sure if women handle it that well...

**Devil Dog74** · 08-08-2004, 03:09 PM

I'm a firm believer in living with your gf first. give it time. You will learn how she reacts to u and she to u every day! Thats the first step i'd take if i were u. If u do it now you may as well hope for the best. Cuz in my unit guys marriages come and go.

**Animal Cracker** · 08-09-2004, 03:27 AM

Military environment is not right for a chick, especially a young chick to commit to much of anything..too many distractions-not enough structure oddly enough.
Look at it for what it is- hang out-go out-hump , whatever..but keep a sharp eye on yourself!

**Commando_Barbi** · 08-09-2004, 06:06 AM

There are women that can handle deployments and the stress and lonliness that come with......but they are are a rare breed. On the flip side of that....how many MEN handle the deployment without hitting some strange in whatever port they arrive, or country they deploy to. I see both sides ALL the time.

The key is.....being mature and dedicated to the relationship on both sides.