one of my newer ones

Apparently, people believe my writing, both prose and poetry, is incredibly 'dark'...

Your murder preempted my suicide
Guilt intertwined such that neither of the blind can dissect
Careful planning where passion was absent as two letters
when the presence
open
On the one morning that beats the sun to the door?
Or unchecked passion against planning's half life
Patiently expired
Released
To you let go

For which the successful are not
Normally punished
My transgression still brings confinement
Though without the promise of observed interactions and earned privileges
Purgatory where closure was offered
I took the bait

And death will find me inconsiderately late
When all that life offers
Is the stench of sterility
And the daily reward of refrain
From vomiting on the white
I'm already there

entwined may serve you better than intertwined.. ;)

although i like it, i like it a lot. probably about as much as your other one.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chrisAdams

entwined may serve you better than intertwined.. ;)

although i like it, i like it a lot. probably about as much as your other one.

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Maybe for the orality of it, but I'm an ardent structuralist and wanted 'neither' to serve as symmetrical syllable divide since one of the 'blinds' I'm talking about is justice (the other love as they have the greatest reputation for supposedly being blind) and in that manner the line somewhat mimicks the scales of justice, but with the 'fulcrum' being the word *neither*....thus, the cool little implicit message that, though both are said to be blind, they rest on a scale dependent upon neither being so....just a structuralist's way of saying that *neither* justice nor love is blind, particularly when they converge. Eh, i thought it was clever, but i'm also retarded.

But long story short, i do agree that for flow of speech yours works better, but i'm a structuralist dammit; hear me roar!

i'm an auralist.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chrisAdams

i'm an auralist.

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Who's getting owned in Fantasy Football....ahah

whoa, what the fawk?


Is this AR?

Pretty heavy stuff there BG. More walks in the sunshine for you young man. :)

Its a great day to be alive!!!!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Juggy Snout

Pretty heavy stuff there BG. More walks in the sunshine for you young man. :)

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Go F yourself

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BigGreen

Go F yourself

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If it'll put a smile on that face consider it done! Is lube allowed? hahahaha

On another note; I got the ARFF stuff cleared up....got them on the phone, good thing because I did pay for four leagues, but everything is good to go now.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Juggy Snout

If it'll put a smile on that face consider it done! Is lube allowed? hahahaha

On another note; I got the ARFF stuff cleared up....got them on the phone, good thing because I did pay for four leagues, but everything is good to go now.

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LMAO...that's priceless. Also, it was very nice of them to actually respond to my several emails. That's my one complaint with ESPN - they do a great job setting up a league, but a ****ty job providing customer service for it.

Man, you really need a hug. Unfortunately, I'm incapable of expressing emotion. I hope you find someone else to comfort you, you sick and twisted deviant.

Can you write my Obit???

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BigGreen

Apparently, people believe my writing, both prose and poetry, is incredibly 'dark'...

Your murder preempted my suicide
Guilt intertwined such that neither of the blind can dissect
Careful planning where passion was absent as two letters
when the presence
open
On the one morning that beats the sun to the door?
Or unchecked passion against planning's half life
Patiently expired
Released
To you let go

For which the successful are not
Normally punished
My transgression still brings confinement
Though without the promise of observed interactions and earned privileges
Purgatory where closure was offered
I took the bait

And death will find me inconsiderately late
When all that life offers
Is the stench of sterility
And the daily reward of refrain
From vomiting on the white
I'm already there

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TexasFitnessGirl

Can you write my Obit???

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Mention football in it!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rambo

Man, you really need a hug. Unfortunately, I'm incapable of expressing emotion. I hope you find someone else to comfort you, you sick and twisted deviant.

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I find my comfort by walking around in a wal-mart or similar outfit and attributing various concocted backgrounds and life stories to strangers...it's my catharsis.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TexasFitnessGirl

Can you write my Obit???

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I'll write your obit if you photoshop something for me (i think it was you that said you knew your **** in that dept).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BigGreen

I'll write your obit if you photoshop something for me (i think it was you that said you knew your **** in that dept).

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You got it!