Young Parents.... Thoughts/Experiences?

**Blown_SC** · 12-27-2004, 03:25 PM

Hey everyone... I would like to hear some feedback on those whom have had children at a young age (21 and younger)...

Experiences? Thoughts? Advice?

I know there are many obvious pros/cons, but would enjoy hearing some feedback...

I am not considering this, but have a friend or 2 who is... and would just like some honest opinions...

Thanks everyone

**Juggernaut** · 12-27-2004, 03:31 PM

Had two when I was young....though it was rough, when is raising a child easy, but here I am forty and both of them are pretty much grown.....I can now enjoy my salad years.

I didn't want to wait until I was older. I didn't want to be playing catch with my kids and have to worry about my heart giving out. hahahahahaha

**apocalypseRC51** · 12-27-2004, 03:31 PM

Most of my friends who had kids young now have disastrous lives

Fighting with the other parent, seperated, custody battles...

at 18-25, your too young to settle down, and too young for kids.

**Pale Horse** · 12-27-2004, 03:32 PM

Well, I would say wait until you are 30 years old. In your 20s ( no offense) IMO you are still becoming the man and woman that you will be. Still evolving if you will towards what are the most important and driving factors in your life.

In addition at that age you are still in school or starting a career and financial stress can tear you apart. If you end up staying married the pro is that you will be young and have a full 2nd life when they are gone. That's it.

The cons: are too many to list. Not to be negative, my 02.

**Juggernaut** · 12-27-2004, 03:35 PM

Apperantly I've taken the road less traveled. I will say it wasn't easy.....but I've enjoyed the walk.

**Blown_SC** · 12-27-2004, 04:11 PM

Thanks for the input everyone

**BigJames** · 12-27-2004, 04:16 PM

I agree with Juggernaut, I had my first when I was 25 (which is young, I think) and I am glad that I will be able to keep up with them until they are 15 at least.

**BigJames** · 12-27-2004, 04:19 PM

But to answer you question: raising kids is hard work and a lot of responsibility. There are hard times, but they are easily out weighed by the good times...this may sound cheesey, but when your kid(s) come up to you and tell you they love you out of the blue or that you are the best daddy in the world, all the sacrifice and compromise, and hard work is worthwhile. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old, both girls. No regrets...that is until they bring home their first boyfriend and I have to kill him...LOL

**Pale Horse** · 12-27-2004, 04:23 PM

My 1st was @ 24 last was 35, I feel and felt much more prepared for the challenges every year.

Spyder · 12-27-2004, 06:13 PM

im 25, no kids and still cant take care of myself.

**Commando_Barbi** · 12-27-2004, 06:36 PM

I had my first at 21 and second 4 yrs later. I had to grow up fast, but as with others...my oldest lives with me and she's ready to leave home...my son lives with dad...so I will soon be able to enjoy picking up and going at a moments notice, etc. Can't wait for that. I'm 50/50 on the age thing. On one hand when you are young you can get out there with them, roll on the floor with them, play sports with them. However, not all young people are capable of letting go of the things they want to do (party, etc) and makes it hard to transition.

**FCECC2** · 12-27-2004, 06:44 PM

i wish i could find a doc that do vasectomy on a 23 years old

sad but true!!!

**Jdawg50** · 12-27-2004, 06:47 PM

I'm 30, and I have an 8 yr old. we are planning on more any time now. I got him threw a marriage. He is probably the bes thing that has every happened to me bro. The cool thing is that your still young and can play with them. By the time my next set of kids are old enough to play with I'll be like 40ish.
If you have a stable situ, go for it, if not... wait

**Commando_Barbi** · 12-27-2004, 06:59 PM

I had a girlfriend get her tubes tied at 25. She was sure that she never wanted any and the doctor did it for her. You just have to find the right doctor.

Originally Posted by TRLS63

i wish i could find a doc that do vasectomy on a 23 years old

sad but true!!!

**Elysium** · 12-27-2004, 07:13 PM

I know tons of people who are under the age of 18, some as young as 15 who have children. I think that they have just thrown their lives away, its their decision at the end of the day, theres always the option for abortion -leave that for another debate. I deffinately see myself having children, no doubt about it, but it wont be until im 26 plus, its hard to put an age on when you should have a child because there is so many things that can contribute to a decision on if you should or not. The reason why i say 26 is, is because this is my target, my target for owning my own property, being financially stable and having had the freedom and life that i have wanted. Dont get me wrong, i 20 now and earn £35K ($65k) a year now, so financially i can afford to have a family -i just want to enjoy my youth, and yes 20 is still young. I feel at this age you are still learning, still growing as a person and experiencing different things, these things you learn, you experience ultimately help you be a better father/mother.

**Commando_Barbi** · 12-27-2004, 07:48 PM

I would never recommend anyone under the age of 20.....but I think mid to late 20's is better. I wish I had waited...but the Almighty had other plans for me. I have a very beautiful 16 yo daughter and I have had the "Shun" speech with her and her boyfriend several times.....if she gets pregnant, one of the three "Shuns" will occur:

Abortion
Adoption
or
Relocation

Did my time, not rasing NO MORE BABIES!.

Im cold aren't I?

**J-Bud** · 12-27-2004, 09:54 PM

I had my son when I was 17. I'm not almost 30 and he is almost 13. Its kinda cool as I'm not too "out of the loop". Yes it was hard but I would not have done it the other way looking back. Work more now, play more later...

**Hitman** · 12-27-2004, 10:32 PM

We had 3 kids all in quick succesion at 19 and 20 and the cons would be growing up and not being to brittle to throw ball or go to the drags etc.. but the pros are not seeing your mates as often as before, sleepless nights, hospital visits when they are real sick, school fees, sports fees and every other fee under the sun. But believe me there are more good times than bad.

**punk_bbuilder** · 12-27-2004, 10:41 PM

my mom had me at 18..now im 21 and things are ok....It depends on the person..if you have them young stay with them and be the best parent possible...she left me for a good many years cause she was young...pretty ****ed up

**Juggernaut** · 12-28-2004, 07:02 AM

Originally Posted by MESSY_UK

I know tons of people who are under the age of 18, some as young as 15 who have children. I think that they have just thrown their lives away, its their decision at the end of the day, theres always the option for abortion -leave that for another debate. I deffinately see myself having children, no doubt about it, but it wont be until im 26 plus, its hard to put an age on when you should have a child because there is so many things that can contribute to a decision on if you should or not. The reason why i say 26 is, is because this is my target, my target for owning my own property, being financially stable and having had the freedom and life that i have wanted. Dont get me wrong, i 20 now and earn £35K ($65k) a year now, so financially i can afford to have a family -i just want to enjoy my youth, and yes 20 is still young. I feel at this age you are still learning, still growing as a person and experiencing different things, these things you learn, you experience ultimately help you be a better father/mother.

I'd agree that 20 is young but then again having a child early in life will force you to mature at an amazing rate. As for finacial security before having a child; good thing to have but as anyone can tell you it's not a must. Being wealthy and having a childs no garantee it will be better off than one born to a family that has to scrap to get by. If you are not ready to accept the responsablity of rasing a child and enjoy your freedom, then hold off till you do....once you have a child you'll not have this ablity.

I'm with you Barb......my child raising days are over. However, I'm almost ready to spoil the hell out of some grandkids..........in another ten years or better.....I'm not in a big hurry. But I'm so looking forward to the day when my kids have kids and they realize what a parent goes through......and I get to tell them when their kid gets diffucult, YOU WERE THE SAME WAY! hahahahaha

**OGPackin** · 12-28-2004, 07:31 AM

I heard Blown was adopting a youg Guatemalan boy......Sicko...

OG

**Blown_SC** · 12-28-2004, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by OGPackin

I heard Blown was adopting a youg Guatemalan boy......Sicko...

OG

You said you needed someone to play with..

**OGPackin** · 12-28-2004, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by Blown_SC

You said you needed someone to play with..

I have two cats thank you very much....

OG

**Juggernaut** · 12-28-2004, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by OGPackin

I heard Blown was adopting a youg Guatemalan boy......Sicko...

OG

Geez, he'll do anything to get out of taking out the trash...lazy bastard. That BETTER be the reason he's adopting. hahahahahah

**Elysium** · 12-28-2004, 08:17 AM

Originally Posted by Juggernaut

I'd agree that 20 is young but then again having a child early in life will force you to mature at an amazing rate. As for finacial security before having a child; good thing to have but as anyone can tell you it's not a must. Being wealthy and having a childs no garantee it will be better off than one born to a family that has to scrap to get by. If you are not ready to accept the responsablity of rasing a child and enjoy your freedom, then hold off till you do....once you have a child you'll not have this ablity.

I'm with you Barb......my child raising days are over. However, I'm almost ready to spoil the hell out of some grandkids..........in another ten years or better.....I'm not in a big hurry. But I'm so looking forward to the day when my kids have kids and they realize what a parent goes through......and I get to tell them when their kid gets diffucult, YOU WERE THE SAME WAY! hahahahaha

Yea i see what you mean bro. Im now 20, and throughout my life the experiences i have had and the things i have gone through have forced me to grow up very quickly, i have had to mature faster and take on responsibilities and no one my age should have to. I look back and wish i had them years back, i look back and think to myself i wish i was out playing with my friend when i was 14 instead of taking care of my little brother because my mom was drugged up all day. I wish i had a normal, teenage life. I didnt so now i want to live my youth as much as i can, i dont want to have a baby and be tied down just yet, i think that as a 20 year old now from the things ive been through im alot mature than someone 5 years older, ultimately the things ive gone through have shaped my life and the way i think about things. I see where you say money isnt anything, it d*mn sure helps though doesnt it? I think that 20 or under is far too young, as most people are still trying to figure out who they are, still trying experiencing things, and this is such a crucial time that if you find yourself looking after a child at this age you will look back and wonder where half of your life went. When i have a child i will want to give it everything i havent had, love, stability and financial stability. At such a young age, you MAY be able to provide the money, you MAY be able to provide the love but you still have got a heck of alot of growing to do.