I`m fvcked - gf reading my sms

[***xxx***]

I have to say that I have a sweet girlfriend and I love her very much. we have been together for 3 years now, she dropped me a year ago, because I was acting like an asshole (had problems with my job and my enviroment, basically her was the one who suffered.
those 5 month were hell for me. I couldn t think, I couldn t eat, I couldn t work out - I was drinking heavily and letting myself go. I couldn t stand the pain.
she came back 5 month after she left me. I got myself together to that point and changed me and my life.
since then we have been perfectly happy. everything seemed to work out.
due to her job and due to my job, we both work long hours. we see each other in the evening and on the weekends. basically I have been spending my spare time with her or in the gym.
she was always a skinny person, nice body, good looking - in the last 9 month we have been together she gained like 25 pounds - not muscle mass . I didn t really care cause I really do love her. sex life was a getting a bit routine and wasn t all that exciting, nor regular.

Now, I know a danish girl for more then 10 years. she is an absolute smoking hot girl with long blond hair and a perfect body, a little skinny but tight ass, big tits. we have met, fell in love but due to the distance we never had a relationship. we met once a year sometimes we havn t seen each other for 2 years, everything was perfect. it was like we have never been separated. we had a great time, had great sex and everything seemed to be perfect - for about 24-48 hours.

I havn t seen her for 3 years now due to my relationship. now once in a while she called or wrote me an sms. and not the kind of small talk sms. dirty talk and very, very explicit.
she was longing to see me again. I didn t want to tell her that I have a gf (dumb!) and always told her I have to work too much (true) and don t have time for her. in my sms I postoned our meeting from month to month.

wednesday I got an sms from her, another dirty one asking when I would be able to see her. I answered it (explicit), postponed our reunion and was clever enough to erase the sms I received. but not clever enough to erase the sent items...today I got up, took a shower, mobile phone lying on my nightstand. after 20 minutes I wondered why my gf didn t get up to take a shower. well I called her, she didn t answer, I though she was sleeping. so I made coffee then went to wake her up. all of a sudden she rushed out of the bedroom, fully clothed my first comment was "wow u r kind of fast to..." this instant moment she slammed my mobile on the table saying " I know it s not right to read your sms, but how could u send a girl this, while we talk about marriage and children...", grabbed her stuff, slammed the door and off she was. I was very surpised but instantly knew what she meant.

I don t know what to tell her, I have been true to her, but how can I explain this sms? I am kind of pissed of because she was reading my sms and she didn t have confidence in me. I didn t betray her, I am spending all my time with her and I love her so much it almost hurts.
I don t want to lose her but I don t know what to tell her about this sms or the girl?

help a brother out on this one...

[peump]

honesty has gotten me through alot. a whole lot
100% honesty
she won't be able to understand some things that only guys understand but remain honest

[Angelis]

yeah I agree just tell her the complete truth.

and about her not trusting you and readin your SMS I Dont think thats what it was... my GF's have read mine before... not being nosey or anything they just got bored and started playing around with the phone, Then I guess curiosity did the rest.

[YounG_SluG11]

if you really do love her, you'd forget about all the other girls in the world

[bmf2]

be honest...

[***xxx***]

thanks for your answers. Do you really think I should be 100% honest? I don t think she will be able to understand why I have sent those sms. I couldn t even explain if I wanted to...

[YounG_SluG11]

yeah but it's even worse when you don't tell her. makes it look like you're sneakin around when she finds out. Tell the girl you love EVERYTHING.

[BajanBastard]

I was in a situation like yours. No matter what anyone says, when the love of your life starts not looking at good as before and the sex becomes so-so, you'll be tempted to stray. My girl reads my texts as well, it pisses me off to no end. I don't say anything because then she'll ask me if i have anything to hide. Tell her the truth if you lie it will be lie after lie and a ton of stress. Good luck.

[***xxx***]

thanks.

my sister just told me that I should be honest and quit **** like that or at least be clever to erase all sms in my mobile lol.

big klg, I can feal u! it is like u said, even if she is the love of your life, when she starts not looking as good as before and sex isn t exciting anymore u tend to stray around. I don t want to find a cheap excuse, I know myself pretty well. may be it s good that she found out, so we can talk everything over. may be it was just meant to be...

[Juggernaut]

NOt hammering you bro but how can you say you're in love with your GF when you have another waiting in the wings for your attention, even if it's once or twice a year? You're talking marriage with one all the while you've another in the back of your mind.......a house divided......not good.

Before talking indepth with your GF I suggest you rethink what it is you want. You've been with your GF for three years....nothing new is going to pop up to make her more attractive to you. Decide what it is you want and move forward.

If you, on the other hand, still wan tto keep this other girl on the side....then do a better job of hiding it. Keep in mind if it comes out down the road the damage will be double. Good luck bro.

[Psychotron]

let her read this post, ha.

[needmorestrength]

Man I agree be honest with her! What were your sms texts like that u sent back to her?

[EastCoaster]

honesty is always the best choice... even if she doesnt like the response, at least you can be at peace with yourself for not having to lie.

[***xxx***]

Man I agree be honest with her! What were your sms texts like that u sent back to her?

well it was something about never ending sex

[Bigen12]

NOt hammering you bro but how can you say you're in love with your GF when you have another waiting in the wings for your attention, even if it's once or twice a year? You're talking marriage with one all the while you've another in the back of your mind.......a house divided......not good.

Before talking indepth with your GF I suggest you rethink what it is you want. You've been with your GF for three years....nothing new is going to pop up to make her more attractive to you. Decide what it is you want and move forward.

If you, on the other hand, still wan tto keep this other girl on the side....then do a better job of hiding it. Keep in mind if it comes out down the road the damage will be double. Good luck bro.

Agreed.

[Panzerfaust]

You are screwed, why in the hell would you do such a thing if you "love this girl so much it hurts"?

I don't know what to tell you, but mending this one will be tough as ****..you just lost trust and once thats gone, say bye bye to relationship IMO.

[vettewreck]

just show her this thread and hopefully she'll understand that you did make a mistake and thats why you were looking for advice.

[***xxx***]

thanks for the opinions.

the question is did she trust me before, or y did she read my sms? I havn t done anything suspicious and spent all my time with her.

It is not like that danish girl is always on my mind but if she calls or sms it is nice. in the end I wouldn t want to switch them because even after 10 years I don t really know this girl. still, it can t be denied, we re attracted to each other.

I decided to tell my gf the truth, it s gonna be rough but I don t have another chance. I m gonna meet her in 2 hours, right after work. I m trying not to biuld some kind of excuse in my head though this is really hard. I will have to justify myself but I will do it on impulse.

if she dumbs me I ll go crazy. second thought : make the best out of it, take the next flight to denmark

fvck I am a dirty bastard

[goodcents]

honesty has gotten me through alot. a whole lot
100% honesty
she won't be able to understand some things that only guys understand but remain honest

agreed, tell her the truth you were just being stupid. She will over look this, I mean she has stuck with you this long. Get her into the gym, my ex was a little heavy (150 lbs?) but once I got her in the gym and she started getting trim, oh man did the sex get better she will be glad you did. Just tell her you're a guy, she is not a little high school girl, she is a woman, she will get over it.

[BajanBastard]

thanks for the opinions.

the question is did she trust me before, or y did she read my sms? I havn t done anything suspicious and spent all my time with her.

It is not like that danish girl is always on my mind but if she calls or sms it is nice. in the end I wouldn t want to switch them because even after 10 years I don t really know this girl. still, it can t be denied, we re attracted to each other.

I decided to tell my gf the truth, it s gonna be rough but I don t have another chance. I m gonna meet her in 2 hours, right after work. I m trying not to biuld some kind of excuse in my head though this is really hard. I will have to justify myself but I will do it on impulse.

if she dumbs me I ll go crazy. second thought : make the best out of it, take the next flight to denmark

fvck I am a dirty bastard

99.9% chance she will not leave you. Now for the bad news. If she is like all other women, youj ust lost all freedom. She will read your sms, always want to know your where abouts, if she can she will want go with you every where. So prepare for a bad time in your relationship, until you regain her trust. If she does want i think she will, your in for quite a ride.

In the 0.1% chance that she leaves you sex with the hottie will dull the pain

[***xxx***]

well that wouldn t be so bad...we re almost always together. the gym is an exception. I took her to the gym last week, afterwards she was pissed off, because a lot of ppl and yes, also girls know me. I m glad though she wants to join a club near her appartment. can t stand to work out with my gf...no concentration possible!

well I ll update u 2night. either on my way to the airport or from my appartment (if I m not chained to the radiator lol.

thanks for the help bros!

[needmorestrength]

well it was something about never ending sex

haha ohhh great

[needmorestrength]

Yea don't make excuses.. Just tell her it was something stupid. I meant u didn't meet the girl or say u were going to, you kept blowing her off (not as good as telling her flat out NO) but still better then nothing, or actually meeting her

[skiing]

NOt hammering you bro but how can you say you're in love with your GF when you have another waiting in the wings for your attention, even if it's once or twice a year? You're talking marriage with one all the while you've another in the back of your mind.......a house divided......not good.

Before talking indepth with your GF I suggest you rethink what it is you want. You've been with your GF for three years....nothing new is going to pop up to make her more attractive to you. Decide what it is you want and move forward.

If you, on the other hand, still wan tto keep this other girl on the side....then do a better job of hiding it. Keep in mind if it comes out down the road the damage will be double. Good luck bro.

makes alot of sense man. Even your posts at the end seemed a little astray or is it a defense I dont know. Be honest man if not for her for yourself bro. You will feel much better. I wish you the best. keep us informed.
ski a great winter.

[Benches505]

I see this situation a totally different way....

She dropped you when you were going through a tough time in your life. Then she returns when you have picked yourself back up and are doing well. I call that a fair weather relationship! and those have absolutely no value so consider yourself lucky and kick her to the curb.

I had a very similar thing happen to me a few years ago and my wife at the time decided to side with her family over me so I divorced her. Now a few years later and coincidently around the time of my birthday she feels inclined to call me these last few days trying to get me to come around. Needless to say I told her to go **** herself and it felt really good

Gl to you either way man....

[goodcents]

[QUOTE=Benches505]I see this situation a totally different way....

She dropped you when you were going through a tough time in your life. Then she returns when you have picked yourself back up and are doing well. I call that a fair weather relationship! and those have absolutely no value so consider yourself lucky and kick her to the curb.

Totally over looked that point well put, she did leave him in a time of need. Why is it that when a girl leaves us, we always say the same stupid thing ( not picking on you, just us guys in general) " I never listened to her, I took her for granted etc., etc." why can't it be she was just a pos that had to have it her way
What the hell did he do that was so bad anyway, he was having letter sex, good god is she perfect, you don't think she pictures other guys! Tell her to grow up and get over it and lets make up, it's not like I'm banging the other girl.

[cpt steele]

I see this situation a totally different way....

She dropped you when you were going through a tough time in your life. Then she returns when you have picked yourself back up and are doing well. I call that a fair weather relationship! and those have absolutely no value so consider yourself lucky and kick her to the curb.

I had a very similar thing happen to me a few years ago and my wife at the time decided to side with her family over me so I divorced her. Now a few years later and coincidently around the time of my birthday she feels inclined to call me these last few days trying to get me to come around. Needless to say I told her to go **** herself and it felt really good

Gl to you either way man....

I with benches... and besides how does she know it wasnt just bullsh!t on the phone... She appears to be a little unstable go to the swiss miss

[JDawg1536]

lie lie and lie some more. tell her it was a girl you had a relationship with whom you want to remain friends with, and she still has a little crush on you. You knew it wouldnt be appropriate to see her, so you just tell her you are busy. It doesnt go any farther than that. Thats my story and Im stickin' to it.

[Wrath]

k.l.g and juggernaut gave some good advice. This is a game of probability and percentages now bee. like he said ...there is a 90 % chance that she will forgive you...but trust she aint gonna forget man.

your gonna have to weather the storm of her not trusting you for a while man. How long that period is gonna last ?? Only she knows... but you know her well... so you should be able to gauge it. My girl still aint completely forgot from when I got caught( xxx pics on my phone) and its been more than six months. She still throws little underhanded jabs to remind ..and whenever we in public, i gotta have COMPLETE horse blinders on...no matter how much of a fatty bang bang the passing female might have...not even peripheral vision, or she pulls out her switch blade.


The fact that she has been gaining weight prolly makes her even feel more self-conscious....and made the situation worse.

Most chicks ( and dudes too) are masochistic and she is prolly gonna ask if the girl was pretty or attractive...this is tricky cause if you say "hEEELL NAW...compared to you she was scooby DOO-DOO", she'll think less of you for dating a sea donkey, or think that you must of cared for her if she was homely...but if you say she was fly, she'll stab you. Just keep emphasizing it was a mistake and avoid that...cause that gonna definetely be the next topic she'll bring up if/when she takes you back. Thats her way of getting to the root of the issue of why you did/ or why you hid it.

You have been with her for three years...so you have to decide if that 'probational' period is gonna be worth it. She's gonna keep chekcing your phone now and for that whoel probation period...with random checks lol like random drug tests. She will feel it justified now . Is your girl vindicative?

sorry for the long post...keep us updated

[tycin]

shlt bro its a shltty situation! i dont like that she read ur msg in the 1st place tats fukd! i dunno maybe its just me but that shlt reallty gets to me! but either way its gon b hard to get this resolved. i think the best way is to b honest. just tell her wut u wrote in this thread. if she loves u as much as u love her im sure she can get over it and wirk out the kinks.

i was in the same kinda problem b4 but a little more serious. its hard when they let themselves go and stop working out and basically just stop carin about there appearance. it makes it a lot easier to look and wanna b wit other girls but u gotta let her know that as well. its hard but it has to b done. the way i c it its not just ur fault its on her as well.
anyways i hope it works out bro!

[seanw]

shlt bro its a shltty situation! i dont like that she read ur msg in the 1st place tats fukd! i dunno maybe its just me but that shlt reallty gets to me! but either way its gon b hard to get this resolved. i think the best way is to b honest. just tell her wut u wrote in this thread. if she loves u as much as u love her im sure she can get over it and wirk out the kinks.

i was in the same kinda problem b4 but a little more serious. its hard when they let themselves go and stop working out and basically just stop carin about there appearance. it makes it a lot easier to look and wanna b wit other girls but u gotta let her know that as well. its hard but it has to b done. the way i c it its not just ur fault its on her as well.
anyways i hope it works out bro!

Yes I agree with this, yes you have broken here trust by sending that kind of message but at the same time she has broken yours by reading your message. It seems to me that if you send those kinds of messages you arnt toally in love with her. Frankly from what I read she sounds like a pain in the arse to be honest. At the end of the day honsesty is the best policy. Tell her the truth and if that fails then you always have a hot Norweigen with a big set of tits to fall back on (no pun intended)

[swoll4589]

You know if you love the girl or not man. If you do then just tell the truth and do whatever you can to keep her.

[stayinstacked]

I think you just feel bad because you've been with her for so long. But lets look at the simple facts. The sex sux, she got fat, and obviously feels the need to snoop for no reason(you said you've never done anything she'd be suspicious about) And to do it first thing in the morning while your in the shower!? I think the bitch is fat and has no sense of confidence or self esteem and figures your out to get other girls anyways, so to hell with her. And you said your getting her to go to the gym with you, sounds like you feel like you gotta drag her there, I like women who do it for themselves not because they feel forced to. She gets mad because other chicks know you, again sounds like she has no confidence in herself. You've answered your own question bro, you said it felt like it was dying, but your in that comfort zone ya know. You gotta break it off bro, things will never be the same again, trust me on that one. My advice would be if your going to be a player, be a player, but dont do it to somebody you've been with for 10 years.

[swoll4589]

Is the juice worth the squeeze? Thats the only thing you gotta figure out.

[Commando_Barbi]

You were both in the wrong, but if you loved her, you should have ended the other situation and been honest with the other girl. I know she stroked your ego and made you feel good to know that someone still desired you and there was always that chance of some hot, no strings sex....but was it worth destroying what you had? Only you know. If you want to keep this lady, be honest and work on it. I would also made a point to end the other situation so that she feels secure that it's done.

What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.

C.B.

[gya321]

Show her the thread or just accidentally leave it on the screen so she doesnt think you made it because you messed up. Be honest to her

[Scooby1]

XXX!!

What happened you said you was going to talk to let us know. Don't keep us hangin here bro!

[IronFreakX]

he went to denmark

[the_rebirth]

if you really do love her, you'd forget about all the other girls in the world

exactly my thoughts.

on a side note, i once got caught with SMS. i didnt delete my sent messages where i was askin did you get the needles yet cause i aint puttin no 18 guage in my ass. my ex was like WTF BLA BLA BLA..

thats my story..


~Ricky

[***xxx***]

hey bros,

thanks for your thoughts! sorry, I didn t answer yesterday - it was quite a messy situation.

we talked for a long time. I was very honest and told her that I did a mistake. I also told her that I wasn t attracted to her like in the past, that our sex life went kind of moldy. I didn t used it as an excuse, because that would have looked cheap. she was very sad and disappointed, crying all the time.man, I can t stand crying women she told me, she felt kind of betrayed (well I can understand that) but she believed me I didn t betray her. she said that writing something like that would be the first step and asked me i f I havn t been happy.

well to make a long story short we talked about 2 hours about our relationship and what we we will have to change to make it better. she came up with the point that she wanna look hot for me and that she will start dieting and to work out to reach her old weight. I promised her to clear up the situation with the danish hottie (fvck this will be another mess) and to be honest in every situation from now on.
she just went to her appartment cause she wants to be on her own for a couple of hours. I will use the time to clean the **** appartment and to go buy all my groceries for the week.
I am feeling released though I will be on probation for the next couple of month.

I didn t bring up the case of mistrust looking up sms in my mobile cause she has better arguments right know cause she found something. but I don t think it is good to do somthing like that. I dont sneak around doing that.

still I m feeling like an asshole - I m not true to the woman I love. I will have to change my behaviour and thinking if i want to be with her. or I will have to learn out of this situation and hide it better

anyways thank you all for helping me out! I guess u can t change a man but I will try to better myself