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Thread: Angry, Need solid advice

  1. 01-22-2005, 12:21 AM #1
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    Angry Angry, Need solid advice

    OK here goes....The wife and I have been having trouble. Lately she wants to be involved in my business. So I tried to be cool and not rock the boat. The problem is that she cannot quite comprehend business. We were in a major lawsuit that cost us a lot oheavy dollars. It was circumstantial and not any kind of mismanagement. When she is included in the financial picture she freaks. I have done this for 16 years and now she wants to get involved but can't handle it. Sooooo today we met with the tax attorney and she got all stressed about crap, I've been dealing with this for years, she just didn't know about it before. I need to add that I coach at the high school as well. She met me when I was playing ball and always loved that about me. I am now training for a BBcomp as well and she is great with that. Well anyways
    when I got home tonite she was gone with the kids no note nothing. When I called her she said that she can't handle this business life uncertainty anymore. So she said she needed to think about things and was staying at a friends house tonite. Well of course I wanna F *ing kill her. She called a few minutes later and said she wants me to quitthe business gig and Teach/Coach
    full time....Which would be cool but a heckof a lot LESS money.... The thing is I enquired about teaching today and never got a chance to tell her before she split. I am NOT worried about another guy or anything. The qustion is do I blow her off til Sunday cause she wants to talk tomorrow? Do I tell her about the coaching inquiry or should I tell her to call the guy I talked to about the teaching gig? Or should I just beat her ass when she gets home for doin the split. Should I actually make this sacrifice for the family? Or should I just waste her........My favorite solution! which is why I figured I better get this out. Thanks for any input as I could sure use it...
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  2. 01-22-2005, 12:47 AM #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrMondodondo
    Well of course I wanna F *ing kill her...........Or should I just beat her ass when she gets home for doin the split............Or should I just waste her........My favorite solution!
    I'm guessing you are kidding? Or do you like to beat on women.
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  3. 01-22-2005, 01:35 AM #3
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    It is a feeling......I've never laid a hand on her...........I'm just pissed as hell.
    Can't even frickin sleep.
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  4. 01-22-2005, 03:23 AM #4
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    eventhough i really wanna say just drop likes shes hot but again its ur family n its ur life, so try to work it out to ur best ability n mayb make sure in future she doesn't just split like that n lay down the law. Good luck
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  5. 01-22-2005, 08:43 AM #5
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    What does your wife do, or is she a stay-home mom?
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  6. 01-22-2005, 08:56 AM #6
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    what kind of business?
    abstrack@protonmail.com
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  7. 01-22-2005, 09:03 AM #7
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    She's a stay at home mom and I run a fairly large regional recruiting firm(headhunting).
    Man I wanna work it out. But, it's one of those situations where I think she gettin crapppy advice from some (friends). In many respects a lot of women in their mid 30's to mid 40's are miserable. So they inherantly don't want to see anyone else happier than they. So I really believe they have her ear and I don't anymore.

    I'm off in a little while for shruggs and deads(back and traps)....
    I really appreciate the input as I am VERY confused.

    AND YES i do need to lay down some law that is acceptable for me to live by.

    Thanks.
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  8. 01-22-2005, 09:12 AM #8
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    seems as if she should stay out of the business if you are providing the bread on the table and it is not affecting your income or future retirement
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  9. 01-22-2005, 09:21 AM #9
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    good luck bro
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  10. 01-22-2005, 09:26 AM #10
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    Sounds ****ed up to me. Like abstrack said, you are the breadwinner in the family, she should appreciate the fact that you want the best for your family. Let me ask you this, let's say you drop the business stuff and start teaching/coaching full time, when you start amking a ****load less money and she's used to living a certain way, dont you think she'll bitch about that too?? Sounds like a catch 22 to me. And I cant stand these little bull**** friends these women have that try to "comfort" them. In all reality, her friends are probably just miserable and single and have been jelous of what she's had the entire time. **** that **** man, if you can still be a family man and spend time with the kids, whats the problem ya know?? If she is that scared of little financial things such as taxes, how scared will she be when you start making less money. I'd tell her, " Ok, I'll step down and just teach, but you need to get off of your ass and go get a job so we can still live comfortable" just my advice.
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  11. 01-22-2005, 09:43 AM #11
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    Maybe she got involved with your business to understand the financials a bit for child support. If she never gave a **** before and left with an ultimatum... an ultimatum she is sure you would not back, it is an easy explination out. My wife argued that I didn't clean enough around the house, so I took her outside to show her something, I showed her our house and said if it wasn't for me you would not have this nice house. I bring home the money, she works too but if I didn't work we could not afford the payment, if she did not work business as usual. Listen I would ask what the underlying problem really is.
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  12. 01-22-2005, 09:47 AM #12
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    Whatever you do do not leave your business. Nothing better than having a second income especially one thats successful. Starting a successful business is not easy. A coaching job is nothing permanent and a business is something that will always be there and you will control. Same with your wife she probably wont always be there if it be your choosing or hers. What your wife is doing is pissing me off on this end. Just out of curiosity what kind of lawsuit was it?
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  13. 01-22-2005, 09:48 AM #13
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    Very simply (I am re-married w/6 kids, "blended family") I have some experience with this. Blow her off. Easy to say but sometimes hard to do. Ignore her and go about your business. Women are nuts, emotional wrecks. Anyone here that has gone through tough pct can understand that estrogen is EVIL. Her mood will pass, if not.... doing nothing will force her hand. Don't do squat until your back is against the wall, then react.

    Don't worry be happy , it will piss her off to no end.
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  14. 01-22-2005, 09:53 AM #14
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    Hmmmm Thats a tough one. I would say that as your wife she needs to support you. Your current job provides a certain standard of living for you and the family that Im guessing being a teacher/coach won't. I would sit her down and talk to her. If your business is in the black and its stable.......I wouldn't get out of it. It's not like you are in some dangerous job that she has to worry about you not coming home. She needs to get a grip. If business is good tell her that. Any business is gonna have ups and downs and in our great US of A you can get sued at any moment for any thing. Hell even if you do go coach and teach.......you STILL could get sued .... talked to my kid wrong or god forbid one dies while you are coaching them...at least with your job now, you have the income to take care of it.

    Bottom line, she's your wife and she should support you. You obviously know what you are doing....you've been at it a while and if ONE lawsuit is all you had sheesh you are probably lucky. Tell her you love her and want her to be happy but she's got to respect YOUR decisions about how YOU support your family. Maybe she needs to go out and get a job (even part time) so she feels a bit more secure and involved in taking care of the family.

    If you feel you can support the family comfortably by becoming a teacher/coach...then all the better .... everyone (hopefully you too) will be happy. I'd tell her over the weekend about it so she doesn't think that she did it just because she took off. I think that would set a bad precident.

    Good luck.

    P.s....do you HH for the big Defense companies in CA?
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  15. 01-22-2005, 09:56 AM #15
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    Don't clean enough or at all? If she's working full time you both should be helping to take care of the house. Maybe her income isn't as much as yours but she's contributing as well and it's only fair that you help around the house too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Smart@$$
    Maybe she got involved with your business to understand the financials a bit for child support. If she never gave a **** before and left with an ultimatum... an ultimatum she is sure you would not back, it is an easy explination out. My wife argued that I didn't clean enough around the house, so I took her outside to show her something, I showed her our house and said if it wasn't for me you would not have this nice house. I bring home the money, she works too but if I didn't work we could not afford the payment, if she did not work business as usual. Listen I would ask what the underlying problem really is.
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  16. 01-22-2005, 09:58 AM #16
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    Barb, cleaning is womens work!
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  17. 01-22-2005, 09:58 AM #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrMondodondo
    It is a feeling......I've never laid a hand on her...........I'm just pissed as hell.
    Can't even frickin sleep.
    Trust me, I know what you mean. I have been so mad at my wife that I'd like to squeeze her head off. But you never do that.
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  18. 01-22-2005, 10:01 AM #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Don't clean enough or at all? If she's working full time you both should be helping to take care of the house. Maybe her income isn't as much as yours but she's contributing as well and it's only fair that you help around the house too.
    My girlfriend backs me up on this...
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  19. 01-22-2005, 10:05 AM #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smart@$$
    My girlfriend backs me up on this...
    Your girlfriend says your wife should do all the housework?
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  20. 01-22-2005, 10:09 AM #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Your girlfriend says your wife should do all the housework?
    Yep, she may be a bit young (21) as I am a bit older (35) but she is smokin' and we have a great time together, while my wife cleans the house.
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  21. 01-22-2005, 10:19 AM #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smart@$$
    Yep, she may be a bit young (21) as I am a bit older (35) but she is smokin' and we have a great time together, while my wife cleans the house.
    Hmmm you are old! Hey more power to you. You have a rich fantasy life and that's good LOL.

    Hey if your wife is happy with that arrangement cool for you both. When I was married we shared all responsibilities. It worked well for us. I made more than he did.....and paid most of the bills but I never expected him to shoulder the majority of the house work or kid responsibilites.

    Peace
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  22. 01-22-2005, 12:45 PM #22
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    make yourself happy. u only live once.
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  23. 01-22-2005, 12:47 PM #23
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    I'll show you women's work!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by 1victor
    Barb, cleaning is womens work!
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  24. 01-22-2005, 12:54 PM #24
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    Why do women always take the kids when they leave? Like its more theirs then the dads...

    You havent done anything wrong bro, i would not quit a good money earning buisness just cause the miss cant handle the stress of paying taxes. The whole situation sounds so wierd.
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  25. 01-22-2005, 01:09 PM #25
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    What's I'll say is really, really, really, REALLY bad...











    ...











    hmmmmm hmmmmmmmm...










    ....










    MONEY OVER BITCHES!
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  26. 01-22-2005, 01:14 PM #26
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    Never let anyone blackmale you bro! Whoever it is!
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  27. 01-22-2005, 01:24 PM #27
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    You are right it is bad....she's not a "bitch" she's his wife and the mother of his kids and right or wrong she's freaking over the security of her family. Is she going about it the wrong way.....sure.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReX357
    What's I'll say is really, really, really, REALLY bad...

    ...

    hmmmmm hmmmmmmmm...

    ....

    MONEY OVER BITCHES!
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  28. 01-22-2005, 01:31 PM #28
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    It seems like your family was much more stable before your wife "got involved" in the business. As a business owner myself, my wife and I have a deal. I make the money and she spends it.
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  29. 01-22-2005, 01:37 PM #29
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    Wow,
    Thanks for all the great input....Yeah, I'm gonna stay strong and go about my bus. if she really wants to make the move that's on her. I just want the kids to be OK.
    This sh1t sucks.. I do believe she is gettin seriously crappy advice. Whatever! I have been a great provider and supporter for our whole marriage. The kids dig me, even most of the kids in the community always want me to be their coach. Barb, I actually do split the housework still, I don't do laundry tho. Never have never will. If pushed I take my crap to fluff and fold....... Yes we do work with Defense Co's.

    Funny thing is I didn't even see the blackmail thing. That is the same advice I would have given someone!!!!! So I think I'll use it.
    I really have gotten to love this board.... I feel like I'm gettin to know some of you, and it's kinda cool. Since I started training for a Masters contest I sure have gotten back into the game and this place motivates the he!! outa me..........

    Thanks again and keep em comin
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  30. 01-22-2005, 01:45 PM #30
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    That was aimed at MR Smarta$$ who isn't sure if he has a wife or a gf.

    Check your PM's Mr. Mondo
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  31. 01-22-2005, 02:33 PM #31
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    All you can to is be the best father and husband you know how............if it doesn't work it is on her, believe or not you can take some comfort in that. If she is determined to sabotage the relationship you can't do anything about it.

    Has this been an ongoing thing with her? Has she been threatening divorce or anything?
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  32. 01-22-2005, 03:25 PM #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    That was aimed at MR Smarta$$ who isn't sure if he has a wife or a gf.
    Sorry, I ain't no Mr. SmartA$$... I'm just having fun. I am no Dr. Love and I just wanted to relax the atmosphere... I shoulda put some kind of smilie in there.

    It was just a joke, don't take it the wrong way Mr. Mondo. Hope you find the best way to settle this down.

    Peace
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  33. 01-22-2005, 03:28 PM #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReX357
    Sorry, I ain't no Mr. SmartA$$... I'm just having fun. I am no Dr. Love and I just wanted to relax the atmosphere... I shoulda put some kind of smilie in there.

    It was just a joke, don't take it the wrong way Mr. Mondo. Hope you find the best way to settle this down.

    Peace

    Wasn't referring to you as MrSmarta$$ silly.....
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  34. 01-22-2005, 03:29 PM #34
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    I was talking to him....

    Rex ..

    Quote Originally Posted by Smart@$$
    Yep, she may be a bit young (21) as I am a bit older (35) but she is smokin' and we have a great time together, while my wife cleans the house.
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  35. 01-22-2005, 03:35 PM #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Wasn't referring to you as MrSmarta$$ silly.....
    Oops sorry
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  36. 01-22-2005, 03:43 PM #36
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    Commando_Barbi is offline AR's Arresting Angel Vet
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    LOL I yelled at you for the bitches comment!!!
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  37. 01-22-2005, 03:44 PM #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    LOL I yelled at you for the bitches comment!!!
    I was kind of expecting it...
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  38. 01-22-2005, 03:49 PM #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReX357
    I was kind of expecting it...
    Would you expect anything else from me? Im the lounge MOM. IT's what I do!!
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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  39. 01-22-2005, 03:50 PM #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Would you expect anything else from me? Im the lounge MOM. IT's what I do!!
    Mooom... Here's my laundry.
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  40. 01-22-2005, 03:53 PM #40
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    Moooooooommmmmmm... What do we have for supper?
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