Honesty or not

Your girl lives in another city so you have to put a lot of faith in her honesty and integrity that she's faithful. Since you have been together she's been honest with you even when it was uncomfortable for her to do so....and it's part of what you respect and love her for.

She calls you and tells you that her ex-bf of nearly a year showed up at her door at 1030 at night and she let him in. She tells you that after the conversation, where she reminded him that he had a girlfriend and that she was involved with someone....as he was she was walking him to the door...he tried to put the moves on her. She promptly pushes him away and tells him she's off limits and not to try it again. She assures you nothing happened and she realizes that letting him the door was the wrong decision.

So.........

a. Would you be glad she told you and believe her?

b. Would you rather she just kept the situation to herself? Would you then be worried that something was gonna happen that would piss you off?

C.B.

A.... i would b pissed if she didnt tell me right away then i found out later. if theres nothing to hide then it should b no prob to tell. JMO...

definetly a, I HATE girls that don't tell you the whole story.

the thing is i trust my girl i just dont trust other guys!

LOL I understand the not trusting other guys.....but your girl has to let it happen so it's up to her...unless he rapes her.

A. That would garnish respect, I may get a bit jealous for a moment till reason kicked back in.

A for sure :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

LOL I understand the not trusting other guys.....but your girl has to let it happen so it's up to her...unless he rapes her.

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totally agree.....and I don't want to hear later that it was an accident.

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

LOL I understand the not trusting other guys.....but your girl has to let it happen so it's up to her...unless he rapes her.

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very true, so did his happen to u? just out of curiousity. if so wut was ur choice, a or b?

I told him as soon as it happened.....well the next day. I felt so bad. Im still trying to figure out wtf my ex was doing. We had been on the phone and it was the first time I had told him I was dating someone....next thing I know he's knocking at my door. WTF is that? Was he hoping he could pull the string and keep me hanging on? It's taken me a while to get over him so I can move on and fuk head tries this?

His girl was just in town over the long weekend...and a couple days later he's trying to get in my bed!!!! He didn't want me but now that someone else does.....?????

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Originally Posted by tycin

very true, so did his happen to u? just out of curiousity. if so wut was ur choice, a or b?

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Yes it did and of course I chose my current man :). This is a man I love and respect. My ex walked away from me when I needed him the most and dumped me for his fat ugly trailer park trash HO. Why would I want to go back to that.

I now have a man that loves and respects me and treats me like a queen. On top of it....he's fine as hell, smart and makes me feel very safe :). Housekeeping skills leave a little to be desired...but when we get married...I'll fix that :). NO I don't mean I'll change him...just mean I'll keep the house how I want it :).

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

I told him as soon as it happened.....well the next day. I felt so bad. Im still trying to figure out wtf my ex was doing. We had been on the phone and it was the first time I had told him I was dating someone....next thing I know he's knocking at my door. WTF is that? Was he hoping he could pull the string and keep me hanging on? It's taken me a while to get over him so I can move on and fuk head tries this?

His girl was just in town over the long weekend...and a couple days later he's trying to get in my bed!!!! He didn't want me but now that someone else does.....?????

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exactly why i dont trust other guys!! he probably thought he could get u back whenever he wanted but then found out that u moved on he was pissed so he tried. guys r fukd like that! trust me! LOL... since he cant have u now hes gon want u more. people always want what they cant have.

You can never go wrong with honesty, even if you don't like the results, honestly is always best.

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

Yes it did and of course I chose my current man :). This is a man I love and respect. My ex walked away from me when I needed him the most and dumped me for his fat ugly trailer park trash HO. Why would I want to go back to that.

I now have a man that loves and respects me and treats me like a queen. On top of it....he's fine as hell, smart and makes me feel very safe :). Housekeeping skills leave a little to be desired...but when we get married...I'll fix that :). NO I don't mean I'll change him...just mean I'll keep the house how I want it :).

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thats good then! let ur ex suffer, his loss not urs. guys can b fukin pricks! take it from me on this one! LOL....

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Originally Posted by 1victor

You can never go wrong with honesty, even if you don't like the results, honestly is always best.

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totally agree! sounds corny but honesty is alwasy the best answer.

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Originally Posted by tycin

exactly why i dont trust other guys!! he probably thought he could get u back whenever he wanted but then found out that u moved on he was pissed so he tried. guys r fukd like that! trust me! LOL... since he cant have u now hes gon want u more. people always want what they cant have.

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For my ex's sake I hope my man never runs into him. He wants to teach him a little bit about respect. :eek:

You hurt him more by denying him, than your new man will with his fists. Let it rest at that, nobody wants to go to jail over this...

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

For my ex's sake I hope my man never runs into him. He wants to teach him a little bit about respect. :eek:

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Long Distance relationships dont work...

Mass what about you and Deca.........it seem to be quite passionate still! :lol:

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

For my ex's sake I hope my man never runs into him. He wants to teach him a little bit about respect. :eek:

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LOL... i would too but like said above u hurt him more than ur b/f now could! for a guy getting rejected especially by his ex that he still likes isnt gon feel good!

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Originally Posted by tycin

LOL... i would too but like said above u hurt him more than ur b/f now could! for a guy getting rejected especially by his ex that he still likes isnt gon feel good!

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I hope you are right. Problem is ... I think he went back to his ex because he was getting scared at how serious our relationship was and it was an easy out. Also she's supposedly terminal and I think he feels some obligation to her. Also don't think he's physically attracted to her because of her weight.

I also think he thought that I was ghonna stick around until he worked through his shyte and I didn't and now he's scared. or..... he's missing the GOOD stuff and wanted a little for old times sake booty!

Either way Im done with him. He can have his fat chick. I def got the better end of the deal than he did !!

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

I hope you are right. Problem is ... I think he went back to his ex because he was getting scared at how serious our relationship was and it was an easy out. Also she's supposedly terminal and I think he feels some obligation to her. Also don't think he's physically attracted to her because of her weight.

I also think he thought that I was ghonna stick around until he worked through his shyte and I didn't and now he's scared. or..... he's missing the GOOD stuff and wanted a little for old times sake booty!

Either way Im done with him. He can have his fat chick. I def got the better end of the deal than he did !!

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dont worry about his fukd up life, not ur problem anymore. he can have fun wit his fat, trail trash! LOL....

id take her word for it.

Not worried......just wish he wouldn't fuk with my head like that!

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Originally Posted by tycin

dont worry about his fukd up life, not ur problem anymore. he can have fun wit his fat, trail trash! LOL....

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all depends on the chick really... to me atleast

IGNORE HIM,

It can be hard, but the time has come to leave him completley in the past. No use holding on to someone that drags you down, all friends ahould lift you up with them.

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

Not worried......just wish he wouldn't fuk with my head like that!

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Originally Posted by mass junkie

Long Distance relationships dont work...

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Thanks for your confidence Mass. I know they aren't easy and the odds are against but I care about this man a lot and Im going to give it a chance. It won't be long distance forever. We are working on one of us moving to the other...just not gonna happen over night. Thankfully I have a free military flight I can take down and back every Fri and Sun :). Helps a lot.

Only time will tell.

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Originally Posted by odrorir

IGNORE HIM,

It can be hard, but the time has come to leave him completley in the past. No use holding on to someone that drags you down, all friends ahould lift you up with them.

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Doing my best....it's a small town so it's hard to do that sometimes.

I'd personally prefer A but I think I'd still be kind of angry a bit. Not for long thought ;)

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

Not worried......just wish he wouldn't fuk with my head like that!

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ya no shlt, well i hope it all works out and the guy leaves u alone!

Thanks guys.....

He was a bit upset with me but said what is done is done. He believes me and expects it to not happen again...and it won't. I wouldn't want him doing that so I have to behave as I would want him to behave.

A

A relationship is built on trust and respect, if either person looses it, the relationship is bust!

I felt it was right to tell him.....but then I got a little frightened .... after the fact ... that maybe I did more damage than good.

I know I did the right thing, I guess I just needed to confirm it :).

C.B.

Definitely did the right thing.

If the woman had waited and I found out later, it wouldn't matter what she told me, I wouldn't believe her because she wasn't upfront to begin with.

I love when women say (or anyone), "I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you everything". LOL

A lie by omission is still a lie.

Thanks guys.

I asked the ex after that ... why he came to my house... he said well that's where my truck stopped. This is the shyte I dealt with and why he's my ex and will remain my ex. Never a straight answer. B.S.

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Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

Thanks guys.

I asked the ex after that ... why he came to my house... he said well that's where my truck stopped. This is the shyte I dealt with and why he's my ex and will remain my ex. Never a straight answer. B.S.

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CB, I know men and women are different animals, and some men can be pigs, but come on... You know exactly why he was there, and why have another conversation just to ask why? Maybe you should have chosen option B just incase you felt like acting on impulse.

I wanted him to say it....... I just wanted to get laid. I can accept that. I don't like the B.S. games and I don't believe in cheating. If I felt the need to go back, I would end things with the man Im with now. One situation at a time.