The Perfect day for a man!!

**Pete235** · 03-26-2002, 09:20 AM

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport
8:15 Private jet to Augusta Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta , finish 2 under par.
11:30 Blowjob
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:20 Blowjob
2:30 Private jet to Nassau , Bahamas. Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:15 Blowjob
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Watch Sportscenter.
7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:46 One last blowjob
11:59 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
12:00 Laugh yourself to sleep.

**Terinox** · 03-26-2002, 09:24 AM

I think you could squeeze in another blowjob somewhere in that day

**DevilsDeity** · 03-26-2002, 09:25 AM

i think 6:30pm should be Record breaking bench press
followed by another BJ

**silverfox** · 03-26-2002, 09:27 AM

seems to be a theme to this ... you would almost thing men like blowjobs...LOL

***Shredz*** · 03-26-2002, 09:30 AM

my god..i think I have dajavu ...that was my day to a tea yesterday.

adding that one extra blowjob Terinox was talking about.

**GenuinePL** · 03-26-2002, 09:42 AM

6 blowjobs and sex, hehe not bad.

Where's the gym??? But the gym in bahamas.

That's a sweet day

**Pete235** · 03-26-2002, 09:44 AM

Originally posted by sk*
the rest is too much hussle.

You're showing your age sk* LOL

Now most of us "OLDER" guys appreciate the golf, fishing, steaks, lobster, fine cognac, cubans cigars (whish I smoke on occasion since they are legal in Canada) massages and jacuzzis....the sex is just icing on the cake.

Now if I were to post the perfect day for an 18-20 year old it would be: Wake up, fuck, drink beer, fuck, eat pizza, fuck, smoke some brush, eat a large bag of doritos, fuck, play X-Box, fuck, sleep.

***Shredz*** · 03-26-2002, 09:46 AM

Originally posted by Pete235
Now if I were to post the perfect day for an 18-20 year old it would be: Wake up, fuck, drink beer, fuck, eat pizza, fuck, smoke some brush, eat a large bag of doritos, fuck, play X-Box, fuck, sleep.

Even at 25...I wouldn't mind a day like this...with all that cardio from fucking..I wouldn't have to worry about the extra fatty high carb food like doritos, pizza and beer that u listed..I might just give this one a try.

**FRANK WHITE** · 03-26-2002, 09:47 AM

Big Pete, have you had someone watching my daily routine.

**Babyweight** · 03-26-2002, 09:51 AM

I think you left out one of the most important things. My man would die without the porn!

**FRANK WHITE** · 03-26-2002, 10:02 AM

Originally posted by Babyweight
I think you left out one of the most important things. My man would die without the porn!

Good point Babyweight. Gotta have that.

**GenuinePL** · 03-26-2002, 10:14 AM

Perfect Day for 19-22 years old:

8:00 Alarm.
8:15 Blowjob.
8:30 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.
9:15 Limo arrives.
9:30 Jack and Coke on route to airport
10:00 Private jet to Nassau , Bahamas.
10:15 Sex with two 18 year olds.
11:30 Shower on the plane
12:00 Jet Ski with your best friend and two 25 year olds.
12:30 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Sam Adams Spring Ale. On a private island.
1:00 Blowjob
1:15 Jet Ski
2:00 Private Gym with best friend.
3:15 Hang out in Private pool with 4 Naked 25 year olds. 2 Sam Adams Spring Ale.
4:15 Shower
4:30 Jet Back Home with 4 girls
5:00 Blowjob
5:30 Nap
7:00 Limo drops you off at your Mansion
7:15 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.
8:45 Relax after dinner on your back deck facing ocean a second bottle of 1963 Dom Perignon.
9:30 Have sex with two 25 year old models.
11:00 Massage
11:15 Jacuzzi while hitting nice bong with snow in it.
11:45 One last blowjob in Jacuzzi.
12:00 Go to Bed
12:01 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart.
12:02 Pass Out

Now this is a Day

**Nico** · 03-26-2002, 10:26 AM

oh shit, this thread had me dyin' laughing. Man I love this board!!!
hahahahahahahahaaha!!!!!!!

**QuietStorm** · 03-26-2002, 10:36 AM

Hey...I'll be happy with one blowjob a day. Wouldn't mind those days of course. Pete you have given me a new goal.

**Mike** · 03-26-2002, 12:06 PM

forgetting one thing......blowjobs are great and all........sex with 18 year olds.....well sure if you like that sort of thing.....but a whole day with not ONE good ol private jack off session? Ya'll are getting lazy - no matter how much booty I ever get, I dont think I will ever stop masturbating

**Canes4Ever** · 03-26-2002, 12:18 PM

Originally posted by Pete235

You're showing your age sk* LOL Now most of us "OLDER" guys appreciate the golf, fishing, steaks, lobster, fine cognac, cubans cigars (whish I smoke on occasion since they are legal in Canada) massages and jacuzzis....the sex is just icing on the cake.

Now if I were to post the perfect day for an 18-20 year old it would be: Wake up, fuck, drink beer, fuck, eat pizza, fuck, smoke some brush, eat a large bag of doritos, fuck, play X-Box, fuck, sleep.

Ahhhh yes Pete, it does pay to be a little older sometimes, we do appreciate the finer things in life. It's not all about Doritos and beer

**Pete235** · 03-26-2002, 12:19 PM

Mike...there is that 1/2 hour limo ride to the airport in the morning. I'm not sure about you but I would have that bloody mary polished off in about 2 minutes...that leaves PUH-LENTY of time to rub one off in the back of the limo.

**Billy Boy** · 03-26-2002, 12:22 PM

Hey Mike maybe too much info bro?

Damn then again if I get arms the size of yours in your avatar I,m going to be the "Tug King"

**Mike** · 03-26-2002, 12:28 PM

Originally posted by Pete235
Mike...there is that 1/2 hour limo ride to the airport in the morning. I'm not sure about you but I would have that bloody mary polished off in about 2 minutes...that leaves PUH-LENTY of time to rub one off in the back of the limo.

LOL ahhh I see it now. Fing hilarious......

Sorry Billy Boy! lol

**GenuinePL** · 03-26-2002, 12:37 PM

I have to make sure now that they don't give me this same lime that Mike is using. LOL

**shonuff** · 03-26-2002, 01:05 PM

wheres da playstation 2 madden 2002 time???
Love that Game !!!! but i like everything else.

**Kasushi sakuraba** · 03-26-2002, 01:24 PM

LMAO AHAHAHAHA MAN THAT IS GREAT BUMP! BUT YOU LEFT OUT ALOT OF BLOWJOBS! AT LEAST 5 MORE!

**Jenna** · 03-26-2002, 03:02 PM

Originally posted by Mike
I dont think I will ever stop masturbating

AMEN BRUTHA!!

**Canes4Ever** · 03-26-2002, 03:10 PM

Originally posted by Mike
forgetting one thing......blowjobs are great and all........sex with 18 year olds.....well sure if you like that sort of thing.....but a whole day with not ONE good ol private jack off session? Ya'll are getting lazy - no matter how much booty I ever get, I dont think I will ever stop masturbating

Oh when you get 40, you start thinking more of your impending use of Depends and Poligrip than rubbing one out my dear boy

**Full Intensity** · 03-26-2002, 03:18 PM

LMAO!

**Mike** · 03-26-2002, 03:35 PM

Jenna -

Ain't it the truth? Hell I dont care how much sex you're getting - it's human nature! Don't ya'll laugh at this joke and try to make me feel like I am the gross one for mentioning masturbation!! LOL

Canes -

I have no idea what it's like to be 40, sorry

**Canes4Ever** · 03-26-2002, 03:46 PM

Originally posted by Mike
[BCanes -

I have no idea what it's like to be 40, sorry

[/B]

You will young man, you will.....now please hand me my walker and help me up

<said under breath>

"young whippersnappers"

**manijak** · 03-26-2002, 04:12 PM

my perfect day usually happens on a weekend if I have day off..
wake up
sex
eat
spliff
workout
lunch
sex
spliff
workout
dinner
spliff
sex
spliff
munchies
nite nite

**$uperman** · 03-26-2002, 10:30 PM

this is why i love u guys.... lol , god i needed that laugh , today was rough. thanx fellas

**gymnut4u** · 03-26-2002, 11:06 PM

lllllllooooooooooooollllllllllllll , you guys are to funny !!!!!!!!!

**Ajax** · 03-26-2002, 11:48 PM

A couple of things you forgot for the elderly version: taking a good shit and talking about taking good shits. (Why that's so important I don't know--but hey, that's how it works I guess!)

Damn, I fear the future, it's all approaching so rapidly....

**GenuinePL** · 03-28-2002, 10:11 AM

LMAO, now we got the whole thing going.

1. Perfect Day for 19-22 years old:

8:00 Alarm.
8:15 Blowjob.
8:30 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.
9:15 Limo arrives.
9:30 Jack and Coke on route to airport
10:00 Private jet to Nassau , Bahamas.
10:15 Sex with two 18 year olds.
11:30 Shower on the plane
12:00 Jet Ski with your best friend and two 25 year olds.
12:30 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Sam Adams Spring Ale. On a private island.
1:00 Blowjob
1:15 Jet Ski
2:00 Private Gym with best friend.
3:15 Hang out in Private pool with 4 Naked 25 year olds. 2 Sam Adams Spring Ale.
4:15 Shower
4:30 Jet Back Home with 4 girls
5:00 Blowjob
5:30 Nap
7:00 Limo drops you off at your Mansion
7:15 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.
8:45 Relax after dinner on your back deck facing ocean a second bottle of 1963 Dom Perignon.
9:30 Have sex with two 25 year old models.
11:00 Massage
11:15 Jacuzzi while hitting nice bong with snow in it.
11:45 One last blowjob in Jacuzzi.
12:00 Go to Bed
12:01 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart.
12:02 Pass Out

2. Perfect day for 23-60 years old.

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport
8:15 Private jet to Augusta Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta , finish 2 under par.
11:30 Blowjob
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:20 Blowjob
2:30 Private jet to Nassau , Bahamas. Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:15 Blowjob
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Watch Sportscenter.
7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:46 One last blowjob
11:59 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
12:00 Laugh yourself to sleep.

3. Perfect day for when you know that you're OLD MAN.

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Fumble for dentures
6:30 FINALLY get out of bed, thankful that you wear Depends because the strain of getting out of bed made you dump in your shorts.
7:00 Breakfast. Lumpy oatmeal and pureed fruit, because you forgot the Polygrip.
7:15 Clean dentures. Apply Polygrip.
7:30 Shot of Geritol.
7:45 General Public Transportation arrives. Takes you to retirement village.
8:15 Arrive at retirement village.
9:30 Hot game of cards (delayed since it took so long for the others to arrive).
9:45 Still playing cards.
11:30 More cards.
11:45 Lunch. 2 pieces of dried toast and a can of Ensure.
12:15 More cards
12:30 Start talking about the good old days.
2:15 More cards
4:15 More cards. More talk.
4:30 Partner gets mad over a wrong play. Game over.
5:00 General Public Transportation back home.
6:00 Watch news. Yell at newscaster about world events
6:30 Dinner. Macaroni and cheese, shredded beef, sugar-free jello.
7:00 Watch reruns of “I Love Lucy”.
7:15 Fall asleep in chair.
9:00 Wake up. Take more Geritol.
9:15 Go to bed.
9:30 Finally pry dentures out of mouth because you used too much Polygrip.
9:35 Fall to sleep.

HAHA