Funeral Procession...
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse
about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a
solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short
distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman was so curious that she respectfully approached the
woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I
know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral
like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my
husband when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the
two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
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A Wife's (girlfriend's) Prayer:
Dear Lord,
I pray for wisdom to understand my man, to love him, forgive him, and to
be patient with his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll just beat him to death.
1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.
What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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