What really happened at BDTR’s place!
BDTR didn’t tell us the whole story of what really happened last night, but, I will!
We all know, the big lad took some pills of Ambien, and he end up in an oddish state of mind and he told us about his pants on his arms etc…
Here the story:
2000:
BDTR started seeing visions of the founding fathers, he got into an argument with Washington about beer brewing, and how Cascade hops should be used instead of Hemp.
After insulting President Washington, he took Franklin in his arms and spun him around, while shouting “I’m a stove, I’m a stove!”
2005:
BDTR is hearing voices coming out from his room closet. So he went to investigate the matter but scare ****, he took a golf club with him. He went to the closet door, took a deep breath and opened the door! He saw the Teletubbies playing Golf with Tiger Wood. Suddenly he saw Tinky-Winky looking straight at BDTR and said “Come on big lad, play with my wood”. BDTR took actions in his own hands and started hitting the gay British purple kid character with the club until he didn’t move anymore. (The truth is that he beaten to death his old former Care Bear)
2010:
BDTR heard some weird noises coming from outside. He looked in the window and saw a Chinese Tank Company composed of T80 right on his drive way. His F350 is completely crushed by one tank. BDTR freaks out, yelled at the little Chinese’s dude in his lawn “Get the **** out you commies! I’m gonna get you all before you get me”
So he ran away to get his M4 Carbine, he loaded a mag in and he was ready for war, he jumped behind the couch, rolled under the kitchen table, and peered out to see if the Chinese were still there. YES THEY WERE and they started shooting at him!
BANG, BANG! Boom boom!!!!!!!!
Taken by pure sheer panic he took his cell phone and called for an Air strike
- BDTR: Bravo 3 Zulu
- This is Bravo 3 Zulu Over
- BDTR: requesting air strike NOW
- Roger that over
- Coord: 23-12-54-32, I WIN I WIN THE LOTTERY!!!!!!!!
- Repeat coord over
- BDTR: Yes a large with anchovies please
BANG! He was brought back to reality when half of his ceiling fell on him. So pissed like men who haven’t got any nookie since noon, he stood up to confront the Chinese, but he was welcomed with thousand of Bullets “Made in china”.
So BDTR saw some grenade apples in the kitchen’s counter, he picked a few, and threw them to the Chinese’s, BANG BANG! He yelled “take that you Chinese small men, stop making crap”
The Chinese retreated behind the neighbour’s house. BDTR was proud like hell that he defeated a battalion of Chinese tank. So he decided to call Lord Blitz and tell him about it.
Lord: Hello
BDTR: waa wwaaa yooooaaaaaaa china!!! Yaaa huuuuuuuuuu what huuuu
Lord: What the **** you saying man?
BDTR: Chinese, Chinese, Chinese!!!
Lord: You want to eat Chinese man?
BDTR: pooooo, wang tang di la dung wong! Kum Too Soon, Im wang shurt, lik me wat!
Lord: You okay dude?
BDTR: Y M C A!!!!!!!!!! Y M C A!
Lord: Ah **** off!
Then he called LB to tell him about his chat with Lord!
LB: Yo!
BDTR: TANK TANK TANK!!!!!!
LB: Problem with your water tank?
BDTR: Chinaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
LB: Your water tank was made in China, that’s explain everything!
BDTR: Twinkie tweetyyy woood!
LB: What?
BDTR: Tigerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
LB: Are you calling me tiger?
BDTR: Chinese
LB: You calling me a Chinese tiger?
BDTR: Fondue, fondue?
LB: Im not Vandoo
BDTR: You in closet!!!
Anyway, the chat was quite short Ive heard!
So BDTR got very hungry, and he was in the mood for some Waffles. He decided to go in the kitchen to prepare some Waffles. But, unfortunately for him, the kitchen moved!
Actually the Kitchen was now the Jungle, and BDTR was quite lost, walking silently in the Jungle with a butter knife he walked and walked, suddenly he saw some people that seem to be out from a plane crash pursuited by hungry and mean dinosaurs!
BDTR, wasn’t scare Ladies and Gentleman! He was so hungry for Waffles that he saw an opportunity for some Dinowaffles followerd by T-Rex Burger! He jumped on the dino and with only his butter knife killed the Dinosaurs. (It was proven later on that BDTR jumped in his gf’s aquarium and ate his gf’s Iguana!)
So full from his dino-waffles, BDTR decided it was time for rest, as in a good hour he fought the Chinese army, did a Dino-BBQ, killed a gay purple british queer and had two bad chat over the phone! But his “siesta” was soon to be ended when he heard some French. BDTR opened his eyes and said to himself “Ah ****, not the French cook again!”
But suddenly, his door was blown away and some men all dressed in black with masks erupted in his place, shooting all over throwing grenades! BDTR is like “THE ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he tried to reach his M4, but it was too far. Then he looked at one big dude with a M249 shooting all over the place singing some Irish songs. BDTR is like “Bouncer is that you, ****ing Irish queer?” Then, right away he was hit by a can of Guinness and some redheaded big lad crawled over him “Top O to the morning to ya big man!” BDTR yelled “bouncer’ and hugged him.
BDTR: Who are these guy?
Bouncer: Im Bikini Mod 2005, did you know?
BDTR: I love waffle too
Bouncer: Hmmm Guinness good, good, do you have Whiskey?
BDTR: Who are these guys?
Bouncer: Gimme Whiskey and Ill tell you later
So the two paired together and crawled over the thunder of heavy firing all around them, bouncer said “This is cool, like back in Lebanon mates”. BDTR replied “Waffles”
So BDTR finally found a bottle of Jack Daniels and Bouncer looked at him with puzzled eyes and a face saying something like “what the **** is that redneck crap!”
So bouncer just sat down and drank the bottle of Jack with a big grin in his face! Whiskey and mayhem what the hell an Irishman can ask for more! But BDTR was still wondering who the **** was dressed like Ninja shooting at everything. So bouncer finally tells him “that just Vandoo, he’s making some fondue, don’t worry mates!”
SO BDTR is freaking out, why 3Vandoo is destroying his place while making fondue and yelling “Anadrol, fire in the hole” So BDTR yelled “DOODOO you big frog stop it” so Vandoo stopped and asked his men to stop making fondue. But suddenly, Vandoo yells!
THE NORTH KOREANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Better Death then Red, BDTR shouted out loud!!!!!!!!!!!
He rolled to the window, and see some flying North Korean Subs, BDTR freaks out and yells “ALL MEN TO THEIR BATTLE STATION”
Bouncer went to the fridge and picked up some more beer, Vandoo escorted Bouncer and bitched about the poor beer selection that BDTR has in his fridge. Tiger Wood got out of the closet wondering where the hell is his Buick!
Suddenly, Torpedoes are going at the directions of BDTR!
He picked up the phone and yelled “FIRE TORPEDO ONE”
On the other end of the phone we can hear “BDTR man, the **** happening” said Lordblitz.
But no torpedoes went the way of the mighty Korean Navy, BDTR took his kitchen chairs and started throwing away so they stop the torpedoes. Bouncer and 3Vandoo are emptying the fridge when one Korean torpedo hit the fridge!
Pissed like a sober Irishman, Bouncer ran toward the window and jumped outside and with his bare hand stopped some torpedoes. As for Vandoo, he was found playing with BDTR’s cat in the living room.
BDTR suddenly saw 10 torpedoes coming down his way, the house was hit!
WE ARE SINKING YELLED TIGER WOOD!!!!!!!!
BDTR took his jeans off so not to wet them and put them in his arms, then his GF came in “What the **** going on here honey”
BDTR yelled “I love the smells of my boxers in the morning, smells like victory”
Finally the Gf hit him on the head with a frying pan and he woke up 12 hours later
The moral of the story, don’t trust two Irishmen near Korean torpedoes.
Reply With Quote
lol
Originally Posted by aXe Leatherdaddy
That is F*cking funny...it explains everything too 
lol good read though
