A confession of an Annoyed and Pissed Juicehead!

[3Vandoo]

Dear steroids bashers,

My name is 3Vandoo, yes a nickname into a cyber world of a community of pseudo-bodybuilders. I am not a bodybuilder, I used to be as a teen but football got over the esthetical aspects of my body to be massive.

Here my little story about my steroids “abuses” and to compromise and confront all the fake, false and blasphematory stories of steroids abuse that I personally think are as fake as Lolo Ferrari’s breasts.

At 14 years old I was a very overweight kid, actually I was extremely obese, by this age the doctor told me I had the heart of a man of 65 years old due to my weigh. One day while playing football one of my friends grabbed my chest and said “hey this is fun, like grabbing my girlfriend’s boobs”. Actually I swore to myself, that the next summer I would be slim, this was May 1992. I was 375lbs at 14 years old, I started my diet in June of that year. I was training days and nights, eating like I never did before, everything planned and well balanced. My first month I lost 45lbs, I came back in school in September I was 80lbs lighter. 11 months later I was hitting the scale at 194lbs. I was weightlifting everyday more into a bodybuilding type of routine, running everyday, and doing any types of activities that could burn fat and calories.

Football season started in 1993 I was playing in the Quebec’s Midget AAA league (US HS equivalent). I started the season at 200lbs and I ended up the season at 235lbs with a body fat of 8% at age 16, with a 50” chest and 17” arms and I used to have abs.

One of my fellow teamates introduced me to the mass training, actually my dear cornerback was quite pissed because I was gaining mass easily and this poor soul was eating 10 000 calories a day and he wasn’t gaining anything.

My first thoughts of using steroids appeared in these days, but the RCMP drugs and prevention program did a wonderful job of scaring me away with cancer, my testicules falling from my body, my penis would fall, my skin would be so oily that Esso would try to buy me from my parents and so on.

I started my season in the Canadian Junior Football League at 260lbs at age 17 with a body fat of around 12%, I was playing Inside linebacker. Then, when the spring camp was over, my routine went into the mass way. I came back in the summer camp in June at a weigh of 275lbs and I was moved to defensive end. I ended up the season at a weigh of about 280lbs.

So my last year of high school was finally in progress and the football season over, I decided to hit the heavy mass way because the next year I would be in the Collegial AAA league (Collegiate AAA) the highest division in Quebec’s cegep football and all schools were recruiting me. I decided to attend the school that never called or sent me letters, Vanier College. I walked in the camp at 295lbs at a body fat of 14% at age 18 with a bench press of 345lbs, a squat of 500lbs and I could press the two plates about 20 times.
My heartbeat at rest was 43 beats per minutes, superb for a lineman!
At this time, I said to myself that I would use steroids but only when I would reach the university level. After my first season at Vanier College, scouts from University of Miami came at our school and they told me they were interested and they would appreciate if I could put 30lbs by the end of the year. So I took their words for granted and I worked my ass off to gain these 30lbs. Actually I gained about 40lbs, about 35lbs were fat. Unfortunately for me the Hurricanes never offered me a full ride like my former teamate Richard Mercier. A new coach was hired back at my school and he was the defensive coordinator, the same guy I told him to “**** off” a few months ago. Without any practices nothing, he kicked me out of the team, so I was offered a spot to a rich private school in the same division. Unfortunately for me, school was quite harsh and with no time to fully workout my weigh went down to 320 at a body fat of around 20%.
I played my season with a bunch of rich losers driving Beamers, yelling “Don’t hurt me, I’m gonna be a surgeon when I get out from school!”. After my 1996 season I was offered scholarship at some Division 1-A schools, Central Florida, Arkansas, Rice, Baylor, North Carolina, UNLV. I committed to UCF back in Orlando, but some months before the start of the camp my father passed away and all my grades were reduced and it got me into troubles, a week before attending the camp I was told I couldn’t go to UCF anymore, I called Arkansas they were taking me, but same story with my grades. Coach Reddy wanted me to go play a season JUCO in Texas then come back. With my arrogant attitude and my big head, I said “**** off”! At the time I had a 56” chest, 21” arms, a bench press of 400lbs and a squat of 600lbs

I joined the army I was 21 years old, I joined as an enlisted man, I did all the worst course the army could offer, I was always staying between 290-300lbs range with a body fat of 15-18%, running, training all day but eating like a regiment, actually if I could have reduced my calories intake I would be a real real ripped man!

At age 22, I decided to really try steroids. I had researched for about two years before, reading books, looking on the internet and talking with people from the gym, on the net and even some physicians. I did my first cycle at the same time as my buddy and training partner. It was a simple cycle of 250mg of sustanon a week, and 150mg of winstrol -V a week for 8 weeks. I gained 12lbs out from it, and lost nothing when I stopped. My strength did not really improved but my endurance was very improved. I had no side effects whatsoever. The only side effects were mentally, I was “PROUD”, and I was “feeling” good! Why, you can ask me? Easy, my body was looking good, my lifts were improved and I could see the difference. I did many cycles after. My chest was a bit bigger 58” and the arms finally reached 22”, OOORAH! No fat on the arms, legs or chest only on my love handles!

Some time later I was offered a position as a Lieutenant and to become an officer, I eagerly accepted and was also offered to continue my university’s studies because it was required by the military. Before going back to university, I did selections and courses for my unit, and I my weight varied greatly because of the courses I did back home, in the US and the UK. I was offered a command post here with an attached department of my unit back in my hometown so I could continue university and work.
I decided to go back playing football and I was a member of a certain university team of the CIAU(equivalent to 1-AA), I did two seasons as an Offensive tackle. Before entering my season of 2000, before the camp I did some Deca -durabolin , Dianabol , Winstrol and testosterone propionate , in the first week of the camp the IOC lab from Ottawa came to test players and my name was called. I went to the coach office and quitted the team on the spot. Here in Canada, the penalty of getting caught in university sports is quite harsh. You are suspended for 5 years from playing, coaching(excepting professional) and your name is showed in the papers, TV and all the games you played are forfeited. I took my own responsibility, and be responsible about my products enhancements cheating habits I decided to quit the love of my life football. Because I knew the consequences of my acts, and especially the results it could bring to my military career.

My steroid use did not stop there, I continued as a weightlifter. Getting bigger is now my religion, lifting heavier weight is my faith and I continued using steroids.

Since I do what many called extreme cycles. I am now at 340lbs with a body fat of 17% on a height of 6’2”. I bench press 595lbs, I squat 1000lbs easily, and I shoulder presses 405lbs. My chest is now at 63”, my arms are around 25 soon to be 26”. You ever seen the strongmen events? Well I do fit in these types of men.

Genetics was and still a great reasons of my mass. I was actually bigger than everyone even before using steroids. My father was 5’11” and 230lbs, 19” arms and abs, and he never lifted a weight of his life, he was a butcher, just his hard work built him a body.
On my mom side, strength is quite present and I inherited from both genetics.

I am what we like to call a “MASS FREAK”.

What steroids did to me!

1- Yes I do get acne, but not a whole lot, actually nothing you can see if I'm not fully naked.
2- Mood swings, they are easily controllable, the same as someone in need of nicotine, actually I think mood swings from a smoker are more dangerous, just come here and look at my mom!
3- Panic attacks, it did happen twice and I was overseas, never again it happened.
4- Not able to sleep, yes but I am trained to deal with this, but would this bring me to suicide because I haven’t got my wet dreams yet?
5- Horniness, yes I could hump a female tree if her curves are nice, this is probably the most annoying side effects, because ever walked with a hard on 24 hours a day, probably not you prude.
6- Bad pumps of some muscles, yes back, calve, it is a pain but you get used to it.

Now let’s see at the positive side effects.

1- I GROW like bad weed
2- I am stronger!
3- I am bigger than you will ever be, and I don’t fit in your beloved SUV not because I am a fat slob like you, but because my muscle doesn’t fit in!
4- I FEEL LIKE GOD, yes blasphemy indeed, I can take the whole world, I could control it, I’ll do things I would never do normally, like talk to this super chick who everyone think she is out of my league! NO, you don’t get it, I AM OUT of her league, because I am a big mean juiced gearhead that could bang her for a week long, lady the steroids basher, ever been pumped by a 300lbs juicehead, gear freak on roids and horny like hell? Get ready to get in a wheelchair honey!
5- I feel better about my body, yes I put it in risks, and I know what I do, unlike all the fools and idiots you use in examples. What about all these fat bitches doing plastic surgeries because they are too lazy to go one hour a day to the gym.


You critic my way of life, my training, dieting, and supplements habits, do I go to your home and critic how you blow your husband because you are a selfish bitch who refuse to swallow? Do I? No, so take your uneducated opinion and shovel it into what part of your body something good goes out! Your asshole and leave us alone and in peace with our bodies! OUR BODIES and our lives!

This sport or activity did more good than harm to me, it brought me into shape, maybe saved my life. Pershap you are just jealous because my 300lbs ass if more firm and muscled than your 200lbs of husband who cannot properly **** you because of his pregnant belly?

Leave us alone and I shall leave you alone!

This is my opinion!

KEEP ON JUCING IN THE FREE WORLD!!!

3Vandoo, an unhappy freak

[irish bulldog]

wow you must be bored lol

[TooSmall]

i made it to the 4th paragraph

[YounG_SluG11]

Interesting story.

[3Vandoo]

i made it to the 4th paragraph

boo!

[IntensityX]

Cliffnote:

3Vandoo is a nut!!!!!

End of cliffnote:

[3Vandoo]

Cliffnote:

3Vandoo is a nut!!!!!

End of cliffnote:

[colossus1]

cliffnotes?........lol

[BDTR]

You may be a bit stronger than me... but i'm skinnier, better looking and most importantly... younger!

Old fart.

[3Vandoo]

You may be a bit stronger than me... but i'm skinnier, better looking and most importantly... younger!

Old fart.

I might be, but im trained to jump out from an airplane, sneak into your house, and strangle you with a toothpick!

thats a plus!

oh, and I speak french, all over the world, chick dig my accent

[colossus1]

oh, and I speak french,

People still talk to you?

[BDTR]

We have the same training, i learned mine in prison lmao.

Don't speak french though... thankfully.

I might be, but im trained to jump out from an airplane, sneak into your house, and strangle you with a toothpick!

thats a plus!

oh, and I speak french, all over the world, chick dig my accent

[3Vandoo]

People still talk to you?

Hell yeah, all the time!

[maxmuscle187]

I might be, but im trained to jump out from an airplane, sneak into your house, and strangle you with a toothpick!

thats a plus!

oh, and I speak french, all over the world, chick dig my accent

Vandoo's the man

[3Vandoo]

Vandoo's the man

oui monsieur!!!!!!

[maxmuscle187]

But aren't the french gay?

[maxmuscle187]

no offence brutha

[3Vandoo]

But aren't the french gay?

not really, we are the best lovers!

but the greeks, the brits, the russians are!

[maxmuscle187]

not really, we are the best lovers!

but the greeks, the brits, the russians are!

How bout the yankees?

[3Vandoo]

How bout the yankees?

there okay, they have some french in them! and the frogs helped them to get their independence, and also 2 millions french moved from quebec to New England, so you all have some french in you!

your all okay!

[maxmuscle187]

theres no french in me













............and dont ask me if i want some

gay b@stards!!!!!!!!

[3Vandoo]

theres no french in me













............and dont ask me if i want some

gay b@stards!!!!!!!!

no, its okay! im not that friendly !

[maxmuscle187]

no, its okay! im not that friendly !

cuz homie dont play that

[3Vandoo]

cuz homie dont play that

are you talking about that chinese yellow poser rapper banana wannabe?

[maxmuscle187]

are you talking about that chinese yellow poser rapper banana wannabe?

Homie the clown

[maxmuscle187]

Remember him????

[Ridla]

this is one articulate man ...no joke.
Keep em comin big guy.. I loved the read

[maxmuscle187]

What does Vandoo mean?

[IntensityX]

What does Vandoo mean?

Latin for french/canadian polar bear rapist

[GREENMACHINE]

Jc some life story. Can I get it on cassette aswell.

[*Narkissos*]

this is one articulate man ...no joke.
Keep em comin big guy.. I loved the read

Vandoo...this is one of the best things i've read on AR thus far...

[Kato]

Now let’s see at the positive side effects.

3- I am bigger than you will ever be, and I don’t fit in your beloved SUV not because I am a fat slob like you, but because my muscle doesn’t fit in!
4- I FEEL LIKE GOD, yes blasphemy indeed, I can take the whole world, I could control it, I’ll do things I would never do normally, like talk to this super chick who everyone think she is out of my league! NO, you don’t get it, I AM OUT of her league, because I am a big mean juiced gearhead that could bang her for a week long, lady the steroids basher, ever been pumped by a 300lbs juicehead, gear freak on roids and horny like hell? Get ready to get in a wheelchair honey!:

at least ur not cocky

good story

[RATM]

Latin for french/canadian polar bear rapist

roflmao

[The Massacre]

Good story. Reminds me of mine only I wasn't fat I was a twig.

[Rob]

Good story. Reminds me of mine only I wasn't fat I was a twig.

you still are

JK bro

[The Massacre]

****! lol

[redmeat]

great story!

I was a fat kid too. Now I'm just a bigger stronger fat kid LOL.

[swoll4589]

im posting here just because this took 10 minutes out of my day to read.

[Mach1]

Had to break it down into 4 sessions to read, but good story.

[SplinterCell]

I still am a fat kid....farking love handels