Dog Pet Peeves about Humans....
DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS
1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly
good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking...I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG
YOU IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't
all over everything while you're gone. (Have you
noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little
like cat butt?)
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check
stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my
nose...stop it.
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet.
Why'd you buy carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your
guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet ... idiot.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we
both know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you
know why we chew your shit up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do
you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then
acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go
back.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled
a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food
chain, you nitwit.
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing
with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hadn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!!
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