Ways of avoiding feeling ackward in group situations

**KingJames23** · 07-22-2005, 10:36 PM

Ok let me just say everything up front and honest. Im one of those people that others do envy based on my looks and acomplishments in school and on the football field( Just signed a football scholarship in May). I was considered to be one of the more popular people in school and all that BS. Always had girls wanting to date me but always have been selective and starting to get shy for some unknown reason. A lot of people are very Intimidated by me and stuff which makes me laugh because im probably more timid than them. Im not bragging or anything but just wanting to be honest so maybe someone would understand.

ok what im saying is, throughout HS ive become more shy or gotten and ackward feeling where like i dont know what to talk about with people or a group of people. I think Its just really hard for me to trust people or something I dont know. Im not like this around people I know or my good friends. I know feeling ackward and stuff in group situations is going to hurt me this football season where Ill be a freshman.

Like last night I was at a girls house, I knew the girl but not the other 6 people there. We were watching a movie for some reason and people kept talking and making comments on the movie. If something ever popped up in my mind I wouldnt say it and i would hold it back in me. I felt weird because i was the only one not making random comments or talking much. I just seem to be like this all the time for some reason though...

I feel weird because people who dont know me expect me be this cocky, gets on girls everynight, type of dude which isnt me. I mean I do talk to and get on girls not to the point that people assume, But im real humble and quiet.
-I know this because after i talk to people they will tell me they assumed i was some stuck up prick and that their surprised im not-

Im going to be a freshman at college and will face a tough situation making new friends and i know this could be a problem because I wont talk much and stuff.

I know this is a long stupid post but I didnt know anywhere else to post it. I just want to know how to avoid always feeling ackward and shy around people because it would help me out so much! thanks!

**abstrack** · 07-22-2005, 11:05 PM

Just be yourself and people will like you if you are shy or not. Thats where your true friends will be! If you want to hang around a bunch of fake ass busters then I would worry about it.

**nsa** · 07-22-2005, 11:19 PM

Don't give a sh!t. Thats how you get over it. I was like that in high school, dated girls a grade ahead of me that were hot and good at football and track and everything. Don't get too cocky because of it, i did and still kind of am, but try to keep it to a minimum now. Just be yourself, relate to people about things that you know everybody does, but some people are too scared to admit to. That works suprisingly well in large groups. But most of all if you just don't give a sh!t what people think and things will work out for you...

**Tazwell** · 07-23-2005, 01:03 AM

when your the outsider amongs a group of close friends, no one expects you to be a stand up comic.. you didn't say anything during the movie because you really didn't feel like it.. if you don't feel like talking, don't.. stop questioning who you are, everyone feels a little nervous when the're the odd man out.. you just have to learn to be more comfortable in your own skin..

**WildCh1ld** · 07-23-2005, 01:21 AM

Originally Posted by Tazwell

when your the outsider amongs a group of close friends, no one expects you to be a stand up comic.. you didn't say anything during the movie because you really didn't feel like it.. if you don't feel like talking, don't.. stop questioning who you are, everyone feels a little nervous when the're the odd man out.. you just have to learn to be more comfortable in your own skin..

I agree

**Kärnfysikern** · 07-23-2005, 05:58 AM

Im like that in groups but a little worse. Unfortunaly I realy dont have a answere to you since I mostly avoid all those situations.

I think its about beeing in those situations often enough to not feel acward anymore. Hang out with as many people you possibly can and with time beeing around strangers will be second nature to you.

**SwoleCat** · 07-23-2005, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by abstrack

Just be yourself and people will like you if you are shy or not. Thats where your true friends will be! If you want to hang around a bunch of fake ass busters then I would worry about it.

Word.

~SC~

**KingJames23** · 07-23-2005, 09:15 AM

alright thanks a lot guys!

**oldandgrim** · 07-23-2005, 09:52 AM

Originally Posted by nsa

Don't give a sh!t. ...

In total agreement. That’s how I get through life, I say what I feel and to whom I feel, people that like me stay around (True Friends my kind of people) and people that don’t get out my face, works for me and I make a living out of meeting people and building instant rapore. (Sales Man)

Be yourself people will like you for who you are

**clockworks** · 07-23-2005, 09:53 AM

Alcohol...

Hehe, seriously...you sound like me. Just put yourself in those situations more and you'll eventually get used to them.

**nsa** · 07-23-2005, 10:35 AM

Originally Posted by clockworks

Alcohol...

LMAO...

**Booz** · 07-23-2005, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by oldandgrim

In total agreement. That’s how I get through life, I say what I feel and to whom I feel, people that like me stay around (True Friends my kind of people) and people that don’t get out my face, works for me and I make a living out of meeting people and building instant rapore. (Sales Man)

Be yourself people will like you for who you are

totally attest to this myself!

**LegendKiller85** · 07-23-2005, 11:52 AM

sounds like social anxiety to me.A very common disorder just be yourself.Dont take any anxiety meds tho,trust me!!!!!!!

**KingJames23** · 07-23-2005, 12:26 PM

Ya LOL alcohol always works thanks a lot. Ya i guess a lot of it is me caring of what other people think of me which is something im hoping to get over.

BG · 07-23-2005, 12:54 PM

Find a girl with a nice rack, stare and tune evryone out!!!

**oldandgrim** · 07-23-2005, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by BigGuns101

Find a girl with a nice rack, stare and tune evryone out!!!

I like this idea

**CRUISECONTROL** · 07-23-2005, 01:18 PM

My brother just graduated from HS and signed on with a division 1a football team and he was alot like you in HS popular but shy....I was popular too but the furthest thing from shy. My bro was nervous about being shy at a new big school and asked for my advice and if he should try to be more like me..... I said no way you be yourself and you'll be fine and jokingly said no one could be like me ....He finished his first year there and had a great time in athletics and social life and kept his grades up.....You'll do fine

Good luck

BG · 07-23-2005, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by CRUISECONTROL

My brother just graduated from HS and signed on with a division 1a football team and he was alot like you in HS popular but shy....I was popular too but the furthest thing from shy. My bro was nervous about being shy at a new big school and asked for my advice and if he should try to be more like me..... I said no way you be yourself and you'll be fine and jokingly said no one could be like me ....He finished his first year there and had a great time in athletics and social life and kept his grades up.....You'll do fine

Good luck

Should he be more like you, was he drunk when he asked that!!!!JK

**KingJames23** · 07-23-2005, 02:18 PM

wow thanks a lot. Its good to see people know what im talking about

**CRUISECONTROL** · 07-23-2005, 02:36 PM

Originally Posted by BigGuns101

Should he be more like you, was he drunk when he asked that!!!!JK

LOL

**Red Ketchup** · 07-23-2005, 03:03 PM

I know the feeling all too well... you described me quite well (well, without the popularity and good looks... I'm ugly and I annoy people).

Crowd anxiety is pretty bad for me... I actually avoid going into shopping centres and have even turned away from the gym when I sae too many cars in the parking lot a few times. My friends can tell too when I start feeling uncomfortable in group settings... I become VERY quiet (as I hold everything in) and dead serious (to the point of looking angry).

I ain't got a solution for it yet... I just do my best. And "don't give and shit and do it" is not a solution, it runs way too deep for that.

Red

**Heracles74** · 07-23-2005, 03:07 PM

Just be you bro... people will admire that the most.

**xell** · 07-23-2005, 04:08 PM

this may sound retared but do you drink alot of diett soda? i have the same problem when i,m bloated and when i feel fat and stuff, but when i have selfesteem i can be center of attention, but lately i,ve been drinking alot of diett pepsi and i has ****ed my head!! i,ve become like this again

i cut it out for 3 days ago and already feeling litle better

i've red aspartame ****s with the nerve system, and can cause personality changes and depressjons... i,m living proof

oh btw also beeing with very outgoing people can keep you down if you arent of the woods yet! just stop thinking about it for a while cause it will make things worse and definatly make people notice it.. eventually you will get over it!

**KingJames23** · 07-23-2005, 04:45 PM

wow this is aweosme, thanks for all the advice from everyone

**Tazwell** · 07-23-2005, 06:18 PM

Originally Posted by Red Ketchup

I know the feeling all too well... you described me quite well (well, without the popularity and good looks... I'm ugly and I annoy people).

Crowd anxiety is pretty bad for me... I actually avoid going into shopping centres and have even turned away from the gym when I sae too many cars in the parking lot a few times. My friends can tell too when I start feeling uncomfortable in group settings... I become VERY quiet (as I hold everything in) and dead serious (to the point of looking angry).

I ain't got a solution for it yet... I just do my best. And "don't give and shit and do it" is not a solution, it runs way too deep for that.

Red

try avoiding eye contact.. my coach told me that, when i got nervous.. just look a little low (not the floor), and know your surroundings.. it worked great.. takes a while to get used to, but it worked on the football field, and i still do it today pretty much all the time, especially in the gym.. i only make brief eye contact when in converstation.

**chest6** · 07-23-2005, 06:33 PM

hey man I seem to be really similiar to you...you really gotta be comfortable and be yourself...if you feel like being weird or just whatever that is fine.just be yourself..if people dont like it too bad. Before I would kind of hold back but now Im comin out a little bit and starting to be a little more outgoing..oh and alcohol makes me and most people a completely different person...most outgoing person around haha

**Red Ketchup** · 07-23-2005, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by chest6

oh and alcohol makes me and most people a completely different person...most outgoing person around haha

Same here... that and it will make me quite violent. I am very reserved so when I come out, I come out hard.

It's partly why I don't drink anymore.

Red

**Red Ketchup** · 07-23-2005, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by Tazwell

try avoiding eye contact..

I don't have too much trouble with eye contact... I just hate having a lot of people around me. Crowds make me real uncomfortable.

If I avoided eye contact I'd get eaten alive in my job anyways

(law enforcement for dept of environment)

Red

**LAW** · 07-23-2005, 06:42 PM

I just came back from my home town. Had not been there for years, met some guys that I went to High School with, they didn't even recognize me, and I surely didn't know who they were (gee they looked old)

In high school they never gave me the time of day, now their trying to pick me up.
I never fit in, I always felt akward . I marched to my own tune and still do to this day. Only difference now is Im a Hot SC, , Honestly when I go out sometimes I still feel like I don't fit in and Im WAY older. Be true to yourself, always.
Oh and Drink Heavily

**chest6** · 07-23-2005, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by Red Ketchup

Same here... that and it will make me quite violent. I am very reserved so when I come out, I come out hard.

It's partly why I don't drink anymore.

Red

Ya I have been known to be violent as well..not good a few times

**collar** · 07-23-2005, 07:06 PM

just be confident with yourself and who you are...
you feel like saying something spit out people dont like it tuff ..
then you know those are people you shouldnt be hangning out with
cause they dont seem to agree with you or understand you...
many times im with group of people i dont talk... they ask me why you so quiet.. i reply cause i just dont feel like saying anything or have nothing to say....
so be true to yourself and no big deal mate... all will workout for the good people

**spound** · 07-23-2005, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by KingJames23

Ok let me just say everything up front and honest. Im one of those people that others do envy based on my looks and acomplishments in school and on the football field( Just signed a football scholarship in May). I was considered to be one of the more popular people in school and all that BS. Always had girls wanting to date me but always have been selective and starting to get shy for some unknown reason. A lot of people are very Intimidated by me and stuff which makes me laugh because im probably more timid than them. Im not bragging or anything but just wanting to be honest so maybe someone would understand.

ok what im saying is, throughout HS ive become more shy or gotten and ackward feeling where like i dont know what to talk about with people or a group of people. I think Its just really hard for me to trust people or something I dont know. Im not like this around people I know or my good friends. I know feeling ackward and stuff in group situations is going to hurt me this football season where Ill be a freshman.

Like last night I was at a girls house, I knew the girl but not the other 6 people there. We were watching a movie for some reason and people kept talking and making comments on the movie. If something ever popped up in my mind I wouldnt say it and i would hold it back in me. I felt weird because i was the only one not making random comments or talking much. I just seem to be like this all the time for some reason though...

I feel weird because people who dont know me expect me be this cocky, gets on girls everynight, type of dude which isnt me. I mean I do talk to and get on girls not to the point that people assume, But im real humble and quiet.
-I know this because after i talk to people they will tell me they assumed i was some stuck up prick and that their surprised im not-

Im going to be a freshman at college and will face a tough situation making new friends and i know this could be a problem because I wont talk much and stuff.

I know this is a long stupid post but I didnt know anywhere else to post it. I just want to know how to avoid always feeling ackward and shy around people because it would help me out so much! thanks!

Damn dude, just like many others have said....you describe me pretty closely in the description of yourself. Except I am probably a little better lookin

jk Getting drun always helps me, but i dont really drink that often and you probably dont either. The other night I was hitting on a girl when I was druk (both are pretty rare occurances for me) and seh is really hot and i could tell she was into me but soemthing was holding her back. Well come to find out, when i try to get her home she says she would, but that she thinks i am too big of a manwhore and probably do that like everynight. She jsut assumed that b/c i am a good looking, built guy and she has seen me in social settings with JUST my good frineds where i have been very outgoing. I was like WTF?!?! B/c i probably hook up with girls less than any of my friends. Pissed me off, i get stereotyped a ton.

**J-Dogg** · 07-23-2005, 08:33 PM

Don't sweat it, you don't have to become what everyone stereo types you as.

You'll get though fine, Tim Duncan is really quite, but it has not ruined his life. Some people are just quite and that should be fine.

Sounds like your not alone on this one either