Like so many others it's about a girl (I hear all of you groaning), but since I've never been in this situation I'm confused as to what to do. This will be long, but I hope you can drudge through it b/c I really need some good advice here.
Ok. I'm a shift worker that works 12-hr day and night shifts as part of a team. There's a chick that works the same position I do, though on a different shift, so there's usually not much chance to talk with her long except when one of us is relieving the other, so sometimes a couple minutes, sometimes 10-15.
The weird thing is that I wasn't even attracted to her in the beginning (we've both worked here a little over a year now). She's tall, about 6'1" (I'm about 6'2"), and I'm not into tall women. Most guys have that mental checklist of women they wanna sleep with at least once, and one of mine was a tall woman. Well I did it a few years back, and it turned me off of them (the whole physical dominance thing that I love was not there). She was just "cute" to me. Plus because of the nature of my job, dating a co-worker would be a bad idea so I've always steered away from that b/c of the potential pitfalls if it ends badly.
Over the last several months, an attraction has started from my end and I think I'm getting signals from her but am not sure. Usually I'm very upfront and confident, but b/c of the situation I'm double-guessing myself with everything, and this hasn't happened to me since I met my ex almost 10 years ago. I think I'm getting signals.. for example, she put highlights in her hair once when she first started working here, then took them out a few weeks later. A couple months ago I mention, "Hey, remember when you had those highlights? Why'd you take them out, they looked damn good on you." Two days later I come back into work, and guess what? Yep, she had them back in. I didn't say anything b/c I didn't want to cross over that line and thought I was getting close to it.
Once in a rare while we'll have the same shift, and we've had a few conversations about relationships etc. She told me about these guys at work who've hit on her, creeped her out by finding out where she lives and leaving gifts at her doorstep, asking her in letters or emails if she'd like to go out, just cowardly stuff. She said straight out that if a guy is gonna ask her, at least have the balls to ask her to her face..and besides, they weren't her type b/c she likes taller, stronger guys anyway, then locks eyes with me a few seconds before changing the topic. Hmm.
But then I try to call her a couple times about work-related stuff (one was a project we were working on together), though we haven't talked to each other off-duty up until now, and both times I get her voice mail and leave messages. No call-backs either time. When I see her at work, she's the first to bring it up. The first time she said she didn't recognize my number and was also exercising, and the second time I called she said she was at the pool. ?! Do either of those have anything to do with not calling me back at some point if she was the slightest bit interested? And yet there's another chick at work who's been talking to me and everyone thinks is interested, and when I bring that girl up in conversation with her, she rolls her eyes and makes some cutting remark about her. So then I think she may be interested b/c she doesn't like the idea of me hooking up with this other girl. Can you see why I might be confused as hell at this point? I can't deny my attraction to her though, and it's pretty strong though I can hide it pretty well. I think she likes my whole flirty but don't give a crap attitude, probably not something she's used to since most guys fawn all over her.
I'll be straight-up, she's the big hottie where I work and she always gets attention so I'm wondering if it's even worth the potential hassle. Yet she always hits me in the shoulder if she's just walking by with a big smile on her face, or always playfully insulting me (and me her) and there's always that bit of flirtation. I feel like a freakin' 8 year old at recess with a girl I like and I'm not used to this.
The workplace is a big pool of gossipers, and I know for a fact that if I decide to move in and get a big DENIED when I try, she's inevitable going to tell someone, who will tell 2 other people, and pretty soon I'll be known as the guy who got shot down. So with these confusing signals I'm getting (and her not calling me back when she's not working still has me wondering if she's just a big tease) I'm at a loss here. Neither of us has tried anything direct yet.
She's a big social butterfly, but when it comes to asking her out she intimidates everyone so I think she's tired of guys being meek around her. Should I play it safe and not take any chances, or should I "have some balls" and just be blunt with her and tell her I'm taking her out this weekend and to be ready at 8:00?
Tease, or interested? Whaddya think???
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and deal with it
Originally Posted by G-13
You're right, she is just fu*king around. That sh*t will have you up for sexual harrassment charges brought by her and you will get into alot of sh*t for nothing. 
The truth sucks, but that's the way bitc*es act. I've been their/done that many times. I banged alot of them and had the hassles to.
!!
