Questioning something I did ...

**c_ville** · 08-31-2005, 01:58 AM

Ok, so here is the situation... I've been seeing this girl for a couple weeks and she seems like long term girlfriend material. She seems rather worried that I am going to play her and makes it obvious at times that she has male friends. I understand her insecurity and I know that her friends are merely friends. I'm not too concerned about that... but we are talking tonight, and absolutely randomly, she asks me how many girls I've been with. (I haven't been with her) As I am concerned she thinks I am going to play her, I just told her that I have been with "only a couple". Which is true...I have only been with 3. Anyways, that answer seemed to come across as conversation killer ...

Focus: Did I just ruin things with her because she now believes she has confirmation for what she assumes to be a "player history"? Is it possible that she is a virgin (bear in mind, we are both 18)? Or did she want to hear some exorbitantly high number?

**PaRiS2005** · 08-31-2005, 02:10 AM

Originally Posted by c_ville

Ok, so here is the situation... I've been seeing this girl for a couple weeks and she seems like long term girlfriend material. She seems rather worried that I am going to play her and makes it obvious at times that she has male friends. I understand her insecurity and I know that her friends are merely friends. I'm not too concerned about that... but we are talking tonight, and absolutely randomly, she asks me how many girls I've been with. (I haven't been with her) As I am concerned she thinks I am going to play her, I just told her that I have been with "only a couple". Which is true...I have only been with 3. Anyways, that answer seemed to come across as conversation killer ...

Focus: Did I just ruin things with her because she now believes she has confirmation for what she assumes to be a "player history"? Is it possible that she is a virgin (bear in mind, we are both 18)? Or did she want to hear some exorbitantly high number?

She's prob just shocked. You should talk to her about her experience. So either way you don't rush things. Make her feel like you'll only do things when SHE is ready, that you'll use protection, all that jazz. Also, be aware since this girl does have a lot of guy friends, (speaking from experience) they will beat your ass at the drop of a hat. Most of them won't even wait for that! So be aware. Confort her, and assure her you're in it for the right reasons.

**collar** · 08-31-2005, 02:17 AM

dont just jump to conclusion ...
dont second guess and think bout what shes thinking.....talk to her..
and let her know what what your all bout...
and take it easy and slow.....
dont rush her.....

**c_ville** · 08-31-2005, 02:20 AM

Thanks to both collar and Paris for the advice...

Considering I have been seeing her for a couple weeks and haven't really attempted to move things forward sexually speaks volumes for the caution I have taken in order to "take it slow". It should also illustrate to her that I genuinely care for her.

**collar** · 08-31-2005, 02:24 AM

could be but couple of weeks might be long time for you...
but some women take things much slower than that....
your the only one that knows how your relationship is going.... that will then explain how slow or fast you can move with this creature hehehe

**c_ville** · 08-31-2005, 02:30 AM

Creature? lmao ... I should e-backhand you :P

Or is it a possibility that she is curious as to why I am being so reserved and is seeing if I have any experience whatsoever despite my swagger?

**collar** · 08-31-2005, 05:19 AM

well you know her better than us...
u can answer that question for urself

**SwoleCat** · 08-31-2005, 07:10 AM

She's probably an undercover freak and she's bored because you ain't made a move.

~SC~

**IBdmfkr** · 08-31-2005, 08:18 AM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

She's probably an undercover freak and she's bored because you ain't made a move.

Ask her about band camp.

**Heracles74** · 08-31-2005, 08:58 AM

In this day and age it is unreasonable to expect to be with someone who hasn't been with someone else and there is nothing more annoying than someone who has a problem with their partners history... there wa slife before the current boyfriend/girlfriend... She should be able to get over it - if not, then there are bigger issues, becasue take my advice brother, you don't want t obe with someone that is jealous and insecure all the time. You will never be able to "fix that" Good luck bro.

**Evil Predator** · 08-31-2005, 10:09 AM

When a ogirl asks how many ive been with, I politely tell her that its none of her damn business.. Thats the dumbest question anyone can ask..

**punchrf** · 08-31-2005, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

She's probably an undercover freak and she's bored because you ain't made a move.

~SC~

those are the best kind. oh yes, the memories of my last asian gf.

**PaRiS2005** · 08-31-2005, 11:36 AM

Lady in the street....freak in the bed....

**jmt** · 08-31-2005, 11:46 AM

The best way I've learned to deal with past history is not even to ask.

What happened in yours, or her past, shouldn't bear that much weight on what's happening now. People can change.

Look at it this way, she didn't know you then and the same goes for you.

As long as things are going good now, why would/should it matter.

Well, unless one of you is carrying around some extra baggage (STD, a kid, etc.).

Just don't try and over-reassure her.

You're both young and have a lot ahead fo you.

Take things slow. Let her make the sexual advances. Your actions will always speak louder than your words.

-jmt

**MASTER** · 08-31-2005, 12:19 PM

U shudve sed ive got freaky wit 3 bitches, soon to b four, and ripped her clothes off and done her in the pooper right there on the kitchen table for all to see.

**Bigen12** · 08-31-2005, 12:32 PM

You're both too young for a serious relationship.

At your age you should be out having fun, putting many more notches on your bed post, enjoy life.

Once you are 30, then look for a long term relationship, settle down and have kids.

**edmen2** · 08-31-2005, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by PaRiS2005

She's prob just shocked. You should talk to her about her experience. So either way you don't rush things. Make her feel like you'll only do things when SHE is ready, that you'll use protection, all that jazz. Also, be aware since this girl does have a lot of guy friends, (speaking from experience) they will beat your ass at the drop of a hat. Most of them won't even wait for that! So be aware. Confort her, and assure her you're in it for the right reasons.

its statements like this that get people hurt. cause i have female friends and im not going to get involved in some stupid relationship because some guy wants to screw her. and ill be damned if im gonna let someone elses friend beat my ass! now if he physically hurt her thats another story but i leave all that other crap for the movies.

**IronFreakX** · 08-31-2005, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by JamesC

U shudve sed ive got freaky wit 3 bitches, soon to b four, and ripped her clothes off and done her in the pooper right there on the kitchen table for all to see.

Agreed..you dont ask bout roids unless ur interested in em..

**Liquidred** · 08-31-2005, 12:42 PM

Originally Posted by JamesC

U shudve sed ive got freaky wit 3 bitches, soon to b four, and ripped her clothes off and done her in the pooper right there on the kitchen table for all to see.

HAHA...if she is freakin out over 3 chicks..damn...it is possible shes a virgin...a SLIM possibility but i guess....talk to her about it..ask her is something is wrong

**BeerBaron** · 08-31-2005, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by Bigen12

You're both too young for a serious relationship.

At your age you should be out having fun, putting many more notches on your bed post, enjoy life.

Once you are 30, then look for a long term relationship, settle down and have kids.

He's makes a good point