Results 1 to 34 of 34

Thread: Things you dont say to a cop

  1. 10-25-2005, 05:03 PM #1
    Youngbuckk's Avatar
    Youngbuckk
    Youngbuckk is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Wish I knew
    Posts
    177

    Things you dont say to a cop

    • I only had one officer Mr. Keg.

    • Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

    • Want to race to the station, Sparky?

    • I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!

    • On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.

    • You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!

    • Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

    • Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?

    • How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

    • Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

    • I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

    • Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?

    • Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!

    • Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

    • I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

    • Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?

    • You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

    • "Bad Cop! No Donut!"

    • I was trying to keep up with traffic.

    • You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

    • "Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"

    • Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?

    • Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed.

    • I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket

    • So, uh, you "on the take", or what?

    • Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

    • Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

    • So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?

    • Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

    • When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile for the camcorder.

    • Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

    • Aren't you one of the Village People?

    • Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your wife!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. 10-25-2005, 07:44 PM #2
    JDawg1536
    JDawg1536 is offline "Rock" of Love ;)
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    4,130
    ill add one to the list..."you think you're so tough with that gun and that badge, why dont you put them down and we'll see how tough you really are" dont say that........
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. 10-25-2005, 07:58 PM #3
    Lavinco's Avatar
    Lavinco
    Lavinco is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    901 N 2nd St Philadelphia
    Posts
    2,492
    who has time to sit and chat? Slam it in overdrive and put the pedal to the metal till he's gone!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. 10-25-2005, 08:19 PM #4
    needmorestrength's Avatar
    needmorestrength
    needmorestrength is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Canada eh
    Posts
    7,073
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavinco
    who has time to sit and chat? Slam it in overdrive and put the pedal to the metal till he's gone!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. 10-25-2005, 08:21 PM #5
    SnaX
    SnaX is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    2,240
    • I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket
    Like that one a lot! lol
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. 10-25-2005, 08:37 PM #6
    decadbal's Avatar
    decadbal
    decadbal is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    North Charlotte
    Posts
    11,491
    theres anothre list of these thats much better.. but this one has some good ens
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. 10-25-2005, 09:13 PM #7
    inspector_injector's Avatar
    inspector_injector
    inspector_injector is offline Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    America
    Posts
    378
    My friend was pulled over one time at night speeding at about 110mph on a 45mph road. When the cop pulled him over he says to the cop...

    "Thank God you're here officer, I was being chased by this crazy guy with a gun behind me, I had no choice but to speed."

    The cop let him go, and the cop went to look for the other guy. LOL.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. 10-25-2005, 11:20 PM #8
    JDawg1536
    JDawg1536 is offline "Rock" of Love ;)
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    4,130
    Quote Originally Posted by inspector_injector
    My friend was pulled over one time at night speeding at about 110mph on a 45mph road. When the cop pulled him over he says to the cop...

    "Thank God you're here officer, I was being chased by this crazy guy with a gun behind me, I had no choice but to speed."

    The cop let him go, and the cop went to look for the other guy. LOL.
    ****in bullshit, i tried the same story, and the prick says to me "get out of the car, you're under arrest for reckless driving".....faggott
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. 10-25-2005, 11:24 PM #9
    chest6's Avatar
    chest6
    chest6 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    23,317
    hhaahah this thread cracks me up
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. 10-26-2005, 05:27 AM #10
    IronFreakX's Avatar
    IronFreakX
    IronFreakX is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    U.S.A.
    Posts
    7,560

    • Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
    BAHAHAHAAHAHA..AWESOME post
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. 10-26-2005, 05:33 AM #11
    Mizfit's Avatar
    Mizfit
    Mizfit is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Toronto Canada
    Posts
    8,867
    cops r nice to women
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. 10-26-2005, 05:50 AM #12
    manc's Avatar
    manc
    manc is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    uk..manchester
    Posts
    743
    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    cops r nice to women
    they might be,maybe thats cos your hot dont you think
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  13. 10-26-2005, 05:50 AM #13
    Jerzey's Avatar
    Jerzey
    Jerzey is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Jerzey
    Posts
    827
    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    cops r nice to women
    Not when you ask them "don't you have something better to do with you time?" That one was worth the ticket, asshole pulled me over for tint when I was stopped at a light with my windows half way down and the sunroof open

    Speeding, then I'm very nice (and pull out the PBA cards)...
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  14. 10-26-2005, 08:10 AM #14
    Youngbuckk's Avatar
    Youngbuckk
    Youngbuckk is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Wish I knew
    Posts
    177
    OH.... here another one I heard the other day...

    you get pulled over by a cop for doing 85 in a 55... the cop comes up to your door and ask "Do you know why you were pulled over" and you respond"Because you wanted my Dunk and donuts Coupons)

    Ya.. thats another one you dont want to sayt to a cop
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  15. 10-26-2005, 08:13 AM #15
    MILPOLDAN1's Avatar
    MILPOLDAN1
    MILPOLDAN1 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Atlanta
    Posts
    480
    i am about to be a cop, i will save this list and see how many of these i hear my first year
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  16. 10-26-2005, 08:30 AM #16
    Jerzey's Avatar
    Jerzey
    Jerzey is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Jerzey
    Posts
    827
    Quote Originally Posted by MILPOLDAN1
    i am about to be a cop, i will save this list and see how many of these i hear my first year
    Good luck with that... I know a bunch of cops, and I have a close friend who is one. Fringe benefits are great for him
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  17. 10-26-2005, 08:35 AM #17
    MILPOLDAN1's Avatar
    MILPOLDAN1
    MILPOLDAN1 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Atlanta
    Posts
    480
    Quote Originally Posted by Jerzey
    Good luck with that... I know a bunch of cops, and I have a close friend who is one. Fringe benefits are great for him
    oh cant wait
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  18. 10-26-2005, 09:32 AM #18
    punchrf's Avatar
    punchrf
    punchrf is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    nor cal
    Posts
    3,093
    Quote Originally Posted by Jerzey
    Not when you ask them "don't you have something better to do with you time?" That one was worth the ticket, asshole pulled me over for tint when I was stopped at a light with my windows half way down and the sunroof open

    Speeding, then I'm very nice (and pull out the PBA cards)...
    PBA? proffesional bowlers association?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  19. 10-26-2005, 09:34 AM #19
    punchrf's Avatar
    punchrf
    punchrf is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    nor cal
    Posts
    3,093
    i dyed my hair green about 5 years back and got pulled over doing 95 in 65 on the way to work and when the cop came to the window to give me a ticket he looked at me and told me he'd let me go because i had enough problems already. didn't know what he was talking about till i looked in my rear view mirror to pull back into traffic and saw my green hair.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  20. 10-26-2005, 10:04 AM #20
    Jerzey's Avatar
    Jerzey
    Jerzey is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Jerzey
    Posts
    827
    Quote Originally Posted by punchrf
    PBA? proffesional bowlers association?
    You aren't from the tri-state area are you? lol (I know you are Cali)

    Most are FOP but here it's the PBA (Policeman's Benevolent Association) hence, PBA cards of cops you know to get out of tickets... I keep a few on me at all times....
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  21. 10-26-2005, 10:06 AM #21
    Jerzey's Avatar
    Jerzey
    Jerzey is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Jerzey
    Posts
    827
    Quote Originally Posted by Jerzey
    You aren't from the tri-state area are you? lol (I know you are Cali)

    Most are FOP but here it's the PBA (Policeman's Benevolent Association) hence, PBA cards of cops you know to get out of tickets... I keep a few on me at all times....
    I'm quoting myself I know, but this the same reason I hate an ordeal in VA with a cop.. #1, they hate yankees (NY, PA) and #2, they are FOP and don't respect PBA Needless to say, after almost getting arrested in a speed trap on 95 IN TRAFFIC (my car sticks out a little, lol) I took the jackass to court and got off.... but it was a nice penny. I'd rather pay that anytime then those scumbags

    Ok, my rant is over.. anyone ever need a great VA criminal lawyer, let me know
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  22. 10-26-2005, 01:14 PM #22
    decadbal's Avatar
    decadbal
    decadbal is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    North Charlotte
    Posts
    11,491
    im a non active member of the FOP
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  23. 10-26-2005, 01:56 PM #23
    Mizfit's Avatar
    Mizfit
    Mizfit is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Toronto Canada
    Posts
    8,867
    hey havent we meet in rehab:P j/k
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  24. 10-26-2005, 02:56 PM #24
    chest6's Avatar
    chest6
    chest6 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    23,317
    dammit i hate how chicks can get off so easily...
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  25. 10-26-2005, 03:06 PM #25
    Youngbuckk's Avatar
    Youngbuckk
    Youngbuckk is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Wish I knew
    Posts
    177
    Quote Originally Posted by chest6
    dammit i hate how chicks can get off so easily...
    No punn intended?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  26. 12-24-2005, 03:03 PM #26
    Buffman's Avatar
    Buffman
    Buffman is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    probably at the gym
    Posts
    223
    love this thread
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  27. 12-24-2005, 11:15 PM #27
    ShnouzedUp's Avatar
    ShnouzedUp
    ShnouzedUp is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Deep in some Guts!!! haha
    Posts
    2,843
    When i got my DUI i told the cop when i got pulled over that i wasn't gonna dance for no monkey... lol... i said then when he wanted me to step outa my truck....straight to jail my ass went... i knew it was comin.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  28. 12-25-2005, 10:11 AM #28
    G-1000's Avatar
    G-1000
    G-1000 is offline Cycle King/AR-Hall of Famer/RETIRED
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    14,421
    I have a few real close friends that are cops. I will tell you what they are ass holes also just not to me. But in NJ 90% of that are on a ****ing power trip.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  29. 12-25-2005, 01:23 PM #29
    edmen2's Avatar
    edmen2
    edmen2 is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    juiceville
    Posts
    2,040
    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    cops r nice to women
    only when they look like you miz!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  30. 12-25-2005, 01:33 PM #30
    StoneGRMI's Avatar
    StoneGRMI
    StoneGRMI is offline Giggity Giggity Giggty!
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    4,336
    "What seems to be the officer problem?"
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  31. 12-25-2005, 02:00 PM #31
    NotSmall
    NotSmall is offline English Rudeboy
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    RIP Brother...
    Posts
    5,054
    Back in my raving days a buddy of mine got pulled over for a drug search and the cops found 1/2 oz of speed on him,
    "I suppose you're going to tell us this is for personal use huh?" the cop asked,
    "Yup" says my buddy Kev,
    raising his eyebrows the cop replies "Oh yeah, how long would it take you to get through this little lot then?"
    imagine how much we all cringed as Kev chimes in with "Get your stopwatch out and I'll show you"
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  32. 12-25-2005, 02:37 PM #32
    cfiler's Avatar
    cfiler
    cfiler is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Training my ninja Degu
    Posts
    7,185
    Q"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
    A"Yeah, I'd be pissed off too if I caught the guy who f*cked my mom last night."
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  33. 12-28-2005, 03:42 PM #33
    Timm1704's Avatar
    Timm1704
    Timm1704 is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    ninja dojo, UK
    Posts
    4,082
    Quote Originally Posted by NotSmall
    Back in my raving days a buddy of mine got pulled over for a drug search and the cops found 1/2 oz of speed on him,
    "I suppose you're going to tell us this is for personal use huh?" the cop asked,
    "Yup" says my buddy Kev,
    raising his eyebrows the cop replies "Oh yeah, how long would it take you to get through this little lot then?"
    imagine how much we all cringed as Kev chimes in with "Get your stopwatch out and I'll show you"
    that is a classic, i have mates who say things like that, and everyone else just stands there salivating at the possibilities of what might happen next lol
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  34. 12-28-2005, 03:56 PM #34
    spywizard's Avatar
    spywizard
    spywizard is offline AR-Elite Hall of Famer~
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    In the Gym, if i could
    Posts
    15,927
    Quote Originally Posted by inspector_injector
    My friend was pulled over one time at night speeding at about 110mph on a 45mph road. When the cop pulled him over he says to the cop...

    "Thank God you're here officer, I was being chased by this crazy guy with a gun behind me, I had no choice but to speed."

    The cop let him go, and the cop went to look for the other guy. LOL.
    wow.. i'm glad he didn't blow a tire, or run over a child in the street..

    45mph it must have been a 2 lane road..
    The answer to your every question

    Rules

    A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted
    to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially
    one exhibiting intolerance, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs.


    If you get scammed by an UGL listed on this board or by another member here, it's all part of the game and learning experience for you,
    we do not approve nor support any sources that may be listed on this site.
    I will not do source checks for you, the peer review from other members should be enough to help you make a decision on your quest. Buyer beware.
    Don't Let the Police kick your ass
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules