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10-31-2005, 05:57 AM #1Retired Vet
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Dealing with jealousy and your partner's EX's?.
How do you guys manage it?.
My partner has had two previous EX's. Mostly it doesn't bother me at all, but then sometimes it all comes rushing head long at me and I spend a few days licking my wounds. She helps me sort it out in my head, but I'm afraid it'll eventually get too much for her.
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10-31-2005, 06:11 AM #2
Happens to everybody, but the solution, is not to think to much. If we imagine and think and visual our partner's past activities, it will bring too much stress.
Why does it come back to you? Does she still talk to them or mention them?
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10-31-2005, 06:11 AM #3
I try not to care. EX's doesnt matter when she is mine now is how I think.
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10-31-2005, 06:17 AM #4Originally Posted by BOUNCER
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10-31-2005, 06:18 AM #5Retired Vet
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Originally Posted by CAUSASIAN
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10-31-2005, 06:23 AM #6
Yeah, you want to be the best in everything she has ever had.
That is why marry young, marry a virgin, marry a girl that never has had a boyfriend or anything. Problem solved. That is my plan.
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10-31-2005, 06:25 AM #7
If she wanted her Xs then she wouldnt be with you. End of story.
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10-31-2005, 06:26 AM #8Retired Vet
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Originally Posted by CAUSASIAN
Another thing, I honestly feel this is the first time I've truely been in love and its totally overwhelmed me.
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10-31-2005, 06:55 AM #9
hey man,
i get the same thing. i went to councilling about it and it helped me, but took over a year to get it sorted!
i was taught that my partners past shouldnt matter, as she is with me now. the thing i had to remember is that everything she did before you got together made her into the person you fell for. had those things not happened, you and her may not have happened, and your life could be very different.
it did help me to think of it that way. and we spoke about it, and now im ok. it still gets to me occasionally, but hey, hit the weights, helps de-stress!!
good luck man!Last edited by nirish_mark20; 10-31-2005 at 06:57 AM.
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10-31-2005, 07:17 AM #10
I get the same thing. Just think about what life would be like if you didnt have her..that seems to help me remember what is important.
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10-31-2005, 07:27 AM #11AR's Salad Tossing Connoisseur
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confidence is one of the most attractive features to many women... when I use to inquire about my girls past relationships, it shows insecurities and really doesn't accomplishs or help anything. You end up spending the majority of your time letting things bother you rather than enjoying the relationship that you are in. Just remember, you are with her and she wants YOU... that's all that is important... if you want it to work focus on yourselves rather than others. Good Luck B!
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10-31-2005, 10:06 AM #12Originally Posted by Justin Sane
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10-31-2005, 10:11 AM #13
just to add on to what others have said. 2 ex's isn't shit. I mean, it's not like she's been around or anything. most girls I know have had no less than 15 different ex's (or partners I guess) and still I don't really consider them sluts.
I wouldn't let 2 ex's go to your head b/c it's just a waste of your time and puts undue stress on yourself. Just know that she's with you now, and that's all that matters.
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10-31-2005, 06:27 PM #14Originally Posted by Justin Sane
So true....If you can successfully pull off the confidence thing and not come across as cocky, they will flock to you.
Just tell yourself that you are so much better than anyone else she has had and then act like that in a controlled way. Again confident, not cocky.
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10-31-2005, 06:38 PM #15
We all have a past.......... plus it doesn't bother me....... you just have to tell yourself that she's with you and there's a reason why she isn't with her ex's.
Stuff like this isn't good it will ruin a good relationship.
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10-31-2005, 07:15 PM #16Originally Posted by BOUNCER
jk..
bro.... to put it bluntly... do you think that while she is having sex with you she is comparing herself to those you have been with??
or are you a virgin, and she is your 1st..???
The point is... are you really looking for a way to end the relationship??? that's kind of what it sounds like to me..
sorry..The answer to your every question
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10-31-2005, 07:21 PM #17
Hm. I had a major problem like that. My gf would talk to her ex and say "I love you" all the damn time..and shes like oh its the friend I love you. Then..she flew 4 hours to New York to go skip school for 5 days and see him. That was the last straw..obviously. Oh and she cheated on me with him earlier in the relationship i should have broke up with her then. I cant fvckin trust ANY girl since then.
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10-31-2005, 08:00 PM #18
I'm getting tired of you taking the words out of my mouth before I can type them.
Yo Bouncer. How many ex's have you had? Don't worry about it. They are old news while you are her love, her life, and the air she breathes. We all have a past. Let it go. Think forward not backwards....!
Originally Posted by spywizard
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10-31-2005, 08:09 PM #19
dont trust anyone!!! girls are vindictive!! girls are decietful!! and girls are crazy, deep deep in there hearts!!! hahaha whoohaaa!!!
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10-31-2005, 08:18 PM #20
i'm the same as you man i get pissed thinking about other people and i get very very very jelous. i don't think theres ever a way to get over it completely, but you gotta realize that you have been with other people too in the past...but youre not anymore.....her love is urs now not anyone elses.
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10-31-2005, 08:27 PM #21
2x's is no big deal Bouncer.. Worry about the women that have been with 6 or more men is my rule of thumb.
Past 6 different dudes that they admitt means more than 10 so run for the hills!
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11-01-2005, 12:26 AM #22Originally Posted by BOUNCER
Thats women for you though, they love the losers, they crave them it seems. The little girls party is next weekend and this idiot and his fat ass momma will be there, its gonna be so much fun [/sarcasm]
What makes me mad is sometimes she acts to friendly to which she states, "I only do it for the baby". Now i don't think at all she would get with him as we are in love something serious but i still get hit with some issues from time to time when it comes to that lousy SOB.
Just thinking about it =
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11-01-2005, 12:53 AM #23
Man, you should be fortunate that her Ex's STAY Her Ex's...To let you know this is coming from a guy, who had his heart ripped out shit on diced up tossed around burned mangled destroyed stomped on minced and then finally thrown in my ****ing face, by one really cakniving manipulative ex that im STILL madly in love with...Believe me, even after breaking the ex's nose among other things, she still messed with him behind my back...I coudn't begin to tell you why I continued our relationship, or how I somehow still find myself in her grasp to this day...I really am thinking I need some sort of counseling about it to get over her, its pathetic really. So, I think you are in a great position bro, and only having 2 partners is a miracle for anyone over 20...dont sweat that shit bro...
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