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  1. #1
    BOUNCER is offline Retired Vet
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    Dealing with jealousy and your partner's EX's?.

    How do you guys manage it?.

    My partner has had two previous EX's. Mostly it doesn't bother me at all, but then sometimes it all comes rushing head long at me and I spend a few days licking my wounds. She helps me sort it out in my head, but I'm afraid it'll eventually get too much for her.

  2. #2
    CAUSASIAN's Avatar
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    Happens to everybody, but the solution, is not to think to much. If we imagine and think and visual our partner's past activities, it will bring too much stress.

    Why does it come back to you? Does she still talk to them or mention them?

  3. #3
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    Kärnfysikern is offline Retired: AR-Hall of Famer
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    I try not to care. EX's doesnt matter when she is mine now is how I think.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by BOUNCER
    How do you guys manage it?.

    My partner has had two previous EX's. Mostly it doesn't bother me at all, but then sometimes it all comes rushing head long at me and I spend a few days licking my wounds. She helps me sort it out in my head, but I'm afraid it'll eventually get too much for her.
    Can you trust her? Has she cheated in the past? Personally I've never met a woman I can trust. I don't think they are capable of being faithful like so many men nowadays! Point is I never got so wound up about it that she ever had to sort out my head but I did keep a discreet eye on her and I made sure I didn't invest any emotion in my relationships. Remember keep your friends close but your enemys even closer...and a woman is always a potential enemy!!!

  5. #5
    BOUNCER is offline Retired Vet
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    Quote Originally Posted by CAUSASIAN
    Why does it come back to you? Does she still talk to them or mention them?
    I dunno really. I'm totally secure with her, and no she doesn't talk to them or mention them. But I think of us together, and hope it was totally different for her. She says it was, that nothing compares to this etc. But I'm at a pretty low ebb in my life right now, and I its usually around these times that sh*t gets to me.

  6. #6
    CAUSASIAN's Avatar
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    Yeah, you want to be the best in everything she has ever had.

    That is why marry young, marry a virgin, marry a girl that never has had a boyfriend or anything. Problem solved. That is my plan.

  7. #7
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    If she wanted her Xs then she wouldnt be with you. End of story.

  8. #8
    BOUNCER is offline Retired Vet
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    Quote Originally Posted by CAUSASIAN
    That is why marry young, marry a virgin, marry a girl that never has had a boyfriend or anything. Problem solved. That is my plan.
    Been there, done that. Doesn't work!.

    Another thing, I honestly feel this is the first time I've truely been in love and its totally overwhelmed me.

  9. #9
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    hey man,

    i get the same thing. i went to councilling about it and it helped me, but took over a year to get it sorted!

    i was taught that my partners past shouldnt matter, as she is with me now. the thing i had to remember is that everything she did before you got together made her into the person you fell for. had those things not happened, you and her may not have happened, and your life could be very different.

    it did help me to think of it that way. and we spoke about it, and now im ok. it still gets to me occasionally, but hey, hit the weights, helps de-stress!!

    good luck man!
    Last edited by nirish_mark20; 10-31-2005 at 06:57 AM.

  10. #10
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    I get the same thing. Just think about what life would be like if you didnt have her..that seems to help me remember what is important.

  11. #11
    Dave321 is offline AR's Salad Tossing Connoisseur
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    confidence is one of the most attractive features to many women... when I use to inquire about my girls past relationships, it shows insecurities and really doesn't accomplishs or help anything. You end up spending the majority of your time letting things bother you rather than enjoying the relationship that you are in. Just remember, you are with her and she wants YOU... that's all that is important... if you want it to work focus on yourselves rather than others. Good Luck B!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justin Sane
    confidence is one of the most attractive features to many women... when I use to inquire about my girls past relationships, it shows insecurities and really doesn't accomplishs or help anything. You end up spending the majority of your time letting things bother you rather than enjoying the relationship that you are in. Just remember, you are with her and she wants YOU... that's all that is important... if you want it to work focus on yourselves rather than others. Good Luck B!
    Good advice

  13. #13
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    just to add on to what others have said. 2 ex's isn't shit. I mean, it's not like she's been around or anything. most girls I know have had no less than 15 different ex's (or partners I guess) and still I don't really consider them sluts.

    I wouldn't let 2 ex's go to your head b/c it's just a waste of your time and puts undue stress on yourself. Just know that she's with you now, and that's all that matters.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justin Sane
    confidence is one of the most attractive features to many women... when I use to inquire about my girls past relationships, it shows insecurities and really doesn't accomplishs or help anything. You end up spending the majority of your time letting things bother you rather than enjoying the relationship that you are in. Just remember, you are with her and she wants YOU... that's all that is important... if you want it to work focus on yourselves rather than others. Good Luck B!

    So true....If you can successfully pull off the confidence thing and not come across as cocky, they will flock to you.

    Just tell yourself that you are so much better than anyone else she has had and then act like that in a controlled way. Again confident, not cocky.

  15. #15
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    We all have a past.......... plus it doesn't bother me....... you just have to tell yourself that she's with you and there's a reason why she isn't with her ex's.

    Stuff like this isn't good it will ruin a good relationship.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by BOUNCER
    How do you guys manage it?.

    My partner has had two previous EX's. Mostly it doesn't bother me at all, but then sometimes it all comes rushing head long at me and I spend a few days licking my wounds. She helps me sort it out in my head, but I'm afraid it'll eventually get too much for her.
    yep...you are a wacko...........



    jk..

    bro.... to put it bluntly... do you think that while she is having sex with you she is comparing herself to those you have been with??

    or are you a virgin, and she is your 1st..???


    The point is... are you really looking for a way to end the relationship??? that's kind of what it sounds like to me..

    sorry..
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  17. #17
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    Hm. I had a major problem like that. My gf would talk to her ex and say "I love you" all the damn time..and shes like oh its the friend I love you. Then..she flew 4 hours to New York to go skip school for 5 days and see him. That was the last straw..obviously. Oh and she cheated on me with him earlier in the relationship i should have broke up with her then. I cant fvckin trust ANY girl since then.

  18. #18
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    I'm getting tired of you taking the words out of my mouth before I can type them.

    Yo Bouncer. How many ex's have you had? Don't worry about it. They are old news while you are her love, her life, and the air she breathes. We all have a past. Let it go. Think forward not backwards....!



    Quote Originally Posted by spywizard
    yep...you are a wacko...........



    jk..

    bro.... to put it bluntly... do you think that while she is having sex with you she is comparing herself to those you have been with??

    or are you a virgin, and she is your 1st..???


    The point is... are you really looking for a way to end the relationship??? that's kind of what it sounds like to me..

    sorry..

  19. #19
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    dont trust anyone!!! girls are vindictive!! girls are decietful!! and girls are crazy, deep deep in there hearts!!! hahaha whoohaaa!!!

  20. #20
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    i'm the same as you man i get pissed thinking about other people and i get very very very jelous. i don't think theres ever a way to get over it completely, but you gotta realize that you have been with other people too in the past...but youre not anymore.....her love is urs now not anyone elses.

  21. #21
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    2x's is no big deal Bouncer.. Worry about the women that have been with 6 or more men is my rule of thumb.


    Past 6 different dudes that they admitt means more than 10 so run for the hills!

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by BOUNCER
    How do you guys manage it?.

    My partner has had two previous EX's. Mostly it doesn't bother me at all, but then sometimes it all comes rushing head long at me and I spend a few days licking my wounds. She helps me sort it out in my head, but I'm afraid it'll eventually get too much for her.
    I am in this situation with my GF, she has a kid with this total loser. Guy needs hlep to visit his daughter for 1 hour. A total waste of oxygen, whats worse is, she banged him. lol

    Thats women for you though, they love the losers, they crave them it seems. The little girls party is next weekend and this idiot and his fat ass momma will be there, its gonna be so much fun [/sarcasm]

    What makes me mad is sometimes she acts to friendly to which she states, "I only do it for the baby". Now i don't think at all she would get with him as we are in love something serious but i still get hit with some issues from time to time when it comes to that lousy SOB.

    Just thinking about it =


  23. #23
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    Man, you should be fortunate that her Ex's STAY Her Ex's...To let you know this is coming from a guy, who had his heart ripped out shit on diced up tossed around burned mangled destroyed stomped on minced and then finally thrown in my ****ing face, by one really cakniving manipulative ex that im STILL madly in love with...Believe me, even after breaking the ex's nose among other things, she still messed with him behind my back...I coudn't begin to tell you why I continued our relationship, or how I somehow still find myself in her grasp to this day...I really am thinking I need some sort of counseling about it to get over her, its pathetic really. So, I think you are in a great position bro, and only having 2 partners is a miracle for anyone over 20...dont sweat that shit bro...

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