Originally Posted by
SnaX
Why avoid people.. people are great.
I use pick-up lines to talk to as many women as i can. Example:
It is true, my success with the opposite sex is unrivaled. Women want me, men want to be me. Pornstars look up to me, although I am not one. Everything I do, and everything I say excudes raw animal sensuality. It cannot be learned, it comes from within (and consequently lands on your face). Know this; I aM a pLaYa (yes, i must bastardize the proper rules of spelling and capitalization).
Yet the common man is not without hope. I have prepared the ultimate guide to seduction, an arsenal - if you will - of amorous ammunition. The weapon which i bequeath to you, loyal reader, is the pick-up line. Man have tried and failed by using obvious approaches such as, "Hi, my name is -----, I find you incredibly attractive, and I am compelled to discover your inner beauty as well. Would you like to go out some time?" Trust me, gentleman, such honest, charming lines never work in real life. Much like a good essay or thesis, your opening line must grab the attention of the listener and refuse to let go. You must captivate them with your wit, your humor, and your boldness. I have compiled the most successful pick-up lines to date. Use them wisely.
..1. "Get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut." A gem in every sense of the word, the infamous 'doughnut' line never fails to impress. Do not mistake that look of distaste for disgust. Her reaction is one of amused curiousity. In her little mind she is thinking, "How thoughtful of him to liken me to such a sweet confectionary treat. He must think highly of me."
..2. "Can i let you buy me a drink?" Most often the fear in using this line is that the user may come off as "cheap." Hogwash. Your thrifty leanings will impress her by imparting false indications of financial maturity. You will appear to be good husband material, and her ovaries will quiver in anticipation of your seed. Yet, the line is a double edged sword. By asking her permission to allow her to buy yourself a drink, you are showing consideration which just fingers her natural feminine instincts.
..3. "i'm not good at these pick-up lines, so could I just play with your breasts?" The ladies appreciate an honest man who is not afraid to ask for what he wants. It implies strength and leadership. The moment you speak those lines, you are George Washington. You are commanding a great unspoiled land full of resources to be taken at your discretion. The line implies an inherent masculinity. It says, "I am not good with words, I am good with actions." You are the strong silent type, who gets the job done without much pretense.
..4. "So, i see you have teeth." When it comes to women, this is the only time that the phrase 'less is more' need apply. The genius in this line lies in its simplicity. The girl will be taken aback, yet smitten when she realizes that you pay attention to details. Generally, you are instructed to compliment a girls eyes. But what's really on every woman's mind is, "when is he going to notice the little things?" You will be showing her that nothing about her physical appearance escapes your attention, so, therefore, nothing about her emotional state will either. You are an attentive, sensitive man. Hence, the little line speaks volumes.
..5. "Excuse me, you are standing on my penis." "But, what if she isn't standing on my penis?" you ask. My friends, unless you are me, she isn't, at which point you must realize the line is merely for effect. You see, even when she steps back and discovers a lack of trodden genitalia, the hint that your member is bigger than a baby's arm will remain swirling in her mind, and tickling her twat. It adds a sense of mystery as to what is contained behind your zipper, and will make her all the more eager to play 'hide the salami'.
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. But most the time they actually do, a guy will be like wtf, then starts being nice for some reason...
