Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Be forewarned, this is just going to be me venting out... with that said, I don't know what the f*ck is wrong with me.

Here goes, there's this girl (isn't it always) that I really care about that just confuses the sh*t out of me. I haven't talked to her much for about 2 months, maybe twice in that time because she said that she cannot deal with me and the way that I react to situations (violently). She has some issues to resolve herself, she was abused as a child and was assaulted a few years back which has left her pretty traumatized.

Anyways, she was in town yesterday and I went to go see her. We were just going to hang out and watch a movie, but we ended up going to bed together. In the morning all I could think of was what the f*ck did I just do! I don't know why she went through with it, so I told her that I was sorry about the whole thing.

She told me, well, it doesn't change anything about the way I feel about you.

My trip is that I just need to leave her alone but I can't. She tells me that she really does like me but dealing with her emotional problems and me are too much for her and she can't get over it.

But then, she tells me that she loves spending time with me, she loves beign with me yada yada yada and sends me mixed signals, we end up in bed, oops, same sh*t again, can't deal with you.

Gotta drop your balls here. Just leave her alone and sever all contact with her. It's basically the only way to get the chick out of your mind. Sacrifice will bring you happiness later on.

Damn, thats a tricky situation bro. From my experience, chicks with problems will bring nothing but problems for you. I hate to tell you this because you say you care about her, but it just doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me.

Peace

Like the quote Big Rush, and yeah, I know that I need to stop talking to this girl, maybe I just need some sort of closure before I can do it though, I don't know.

Hey buddy G

I wonder it is the same girl you have mentioned weeks ago...

If she is the one, I suggest you would like to take a break from all these. I believe that some people are only meant to be your friends and there is only one person in your life whom will always be in your heart...

That is called fate. The pain you are going through is part and parcel of life baby. I have been through that.

Learn to treasure yourself and take care of your friends around you. Maybe who knows someone worth your wait will be there. No matter who he/she is, remember to be patient.

All the best. Hope to hear something great from you.

OH MAN G, HERE WE GO AGAIN. All you had to say is " there's this girl" instantly I knew who you were talking about. When are you gonna learn brutha?

OK you want closure. I think you should confront her on this once again. This time tell her you can put yourself through this anymore and if there is no hope for you guys being together then you don't want to see her anymore. Period. End of story. Get the heart break over all at once instead of dragging it on any longer. Plus if their is hope she will figure its now of never.

Freakout, yeah, I've posted about this girl before. It's been an ongoing problem that I needed to take care of.

Been there and done that G Child...Takes Ron's advice. Just end it man, it'll be hard but you seem like a solid bro. Do what you gotta do and make it final. In this situation, I believe procrastination will only make it that much harder for you. Also, if you keep having sex with her (and believe me I know that's a hard thing to stop) that will only make your situation that much more intolerable as well. Sever all ties, and in time you will get over her, I promise. Hope this helped you somewhat.

Peace

Ron, well I confronted her about the whole thing again, this time it went a little better for me (in the understanding department).

Well I went and started out by explaining why I was sorry the whole thing happened. I told her that I should have known better because I do know how she feels about us, and that I knew that this would only complicate things, not for her but for me.

I then told her that she needs to let me in on WTF is going on. As the saying goes, be careful what you wish for.... She then spilled everything. Let's see if I can recall everything:

"It's not that I don't like you because I do like you alot, I just don't like you the same way tha you like me (**ouch!**). I mean, I think about you all the time, but the fact remains that I can go out and have a good time and not think about you and I can think about you and decide not to call you. That tells me something. I've never been in love and the fact is I don't see myself with one person forever, I just don't."

I knew that shit all along, that's what I was telling everyone her reason had to be! Then she goes on with this sh*T:

"I'm just not ready for a relationship right now, and when I am I'm not saying it's going to be with you. But then again, I don't want to totally take you out (**selfish b*tch**) because it could be with you, I don't know. I don't want to lose you and don't want us not to be friends anymore..."

WHAT THE FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!

Anyways, that does help me out some, it doesn't make it easy, but it does help. I told her too. I asked her why she hadn't told me this before, she said because she just came to this, that she's been doing a lot of thinking lately about us and if she really does like me and if so why does she like me.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Big Rush
Also, if you keep having sex with her (and believe me I know that's a hard thing to stop) . . .
Peace

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Actually it's not the sex that's hard to stop, I can be with her without having sex, I just enjoy (ENJOYED) being with her. Sex I can get, no prob, but with her it's just different.

Quote:

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If she is the one, I suggest you would like to take a break from all these.

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Freakout, if you're talking about the other 4 (3 now, just had to cut one more) girls that I'm seeing, when she is around I do take a break from all them. Actually, everytime that I think that things might start going good between me and her I totally f*ck things up with these other chicks, but it's not like it matters and it's not like I can't get them back when I want.

I don't know man. Its sound like she has some real commitment issues. :scratch: Feels funny saying that about a woman. Aren't we (men) the ones notorious for that

What ever you do, don't let her string you along forever. There are a ton of women out there.

Bro you sound like a pimp...move on. Take it from me, there are plenty of other cool ass chix out there and once you meet the next "right one", you'll forget about her.

Peace

Thanks for your support bro's... and Ron, yeah, I was saying the whole time that it had to be commitment issues, I even told her that and she told me no, that wasn't it.

Anyways, "We always know what's best for us, but commiting to doing what is best for us is always the challenge."

I know that there are plenty of women in the sea, I need to move on blah blah blah... doing it is another story. I guess I can look at it like this, I'm on my way to Law School and she is on her way to Med School, there wouldn't be much time for us anyways. Yeah, I guess I could look at it that way...

I guess...

Quote:

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Originally posted by KeyMastur
Gotta drop your balls here. Just leave her alone and sever all contact with her. It's basically the only way to get the chick out of your mind. Sacrifice will bring you happiness later on.

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Exactly!!!!

G you have to know when you are getting yourself into trouble and leave it. As hard as it is try not to think with your dick.

She sounds liek she has MAJOR issues, which should warn you to stay away.

Also people who have been abused usually have fuzzy boundries. And usually would not know one if they fell across it.

Do you self a favour... call a spade a spade,, and walk away with your sainity.

Hey G, are we dating the same girl? Sounds a lot like what I am going through now. But in your case you have more attachemnts. I would take everyone's advice and move on. As hard as it may be, it's the best thing for you. Time will tell if this is the right girl.

I can't give much advice in this situation. I tend to let girls walk all over me. But I can't be that mean asshole boyfriend. I wish you the best of luck Bro!

Thanks again for the support fellaz. I know that I have to cut all ties with her, but it's just easier said than done. I've known this girl since I was in Jr. High and I'm really good friends of the family, AND her brother is one of my best friends.

But I know it has to be done, if it's meant to be it's meant to be.
Looks like I'm on the loose again... time to cast some more free agents to my team.

Hey Butch, let's head out to the pier and go chase hookers! haha

Hey G I don't know about hookers, but I would love to hit the beach bars up and smack some of the beach chics up. I'm always out on the prowl.

Sorry, right now all women are hookers in my book.

I knew a girl like that she drove me crazy...then I found out she had herpes and all of a sudden I had no problem leaving her alone. :lol:

Well then G, if we are talking about all women then lets start tappin' em'!!!! lol

Bro ,
I have the same thing happen to me. The only difference is that the excuse is "I don't have time for a boyfriend". ( She has a full time carrer and 2 small children at home) We were off and on for a couple of years and I really was getting sick and tired of the same ol shit. The fact is though that I really cared for her and I really love her. You have to ask yourself the same questuion. If the answer is yes you have to leave a door open and if she steps back in you have to make yourself be able to start from scratch. Now I'm not saying allow her to make you her door mat. You can lay down some ground rules if she wants to be in your life and you have to be honest about it. Although you may love her that door may not be open forever. Afterall, in those times when she is getting her thougths , feelings or whatever together you have a life to. If you meet someone else thing things are not the same and that door is no longer available. If it is stablity that you are looking for you need to tell her that and although you can learn to live and let live you can no tolerate the constant break up and get back together game. Me and my gilr are back together and I'm happeier than I have ever been. Good luck. I hope that it works out for you.
Tobey

All you guys are so sweet and caring....

See G child you are not alone after all. You have great friends here to understand and share your problems.

Now I will stop preaching...

Now girls if you do not start looking after these great guys, my friends will.... once bent seldom straight!!! Just joking!!!

Guys persevere!! Good friends are hard to come by. That includes love too.