talk about bad luck

long story short, my friend gets thrown out of his appt. by his fiance, 3rd time in 2 years it happens, he calls me and asks if he can stay at my house since i have alot of extra room, i say sure, for wks the guy is in the dumps, keeps saying how bad his life is blah blah blah, well i told him, it could only get better , boy i was wrong, this wknd he went to visit his sister , she is 31yo, good job,2 kids great life, never drank or did drugs, a real straight shooter. the idea for this trip as to help cheer him up. she ends up dying literaly in his hands of a brain anneurysm(A.V.M.) it is the most horrible situation, , it is unbelievable, i am really scared this guy is going to go off the deep end, he has been known to get really bad when depressed.(drinking, drugs, acting like a lunatic) what the hell do you do for someone like this?

:( unbelievable. Best wishes, cant offer any advice on this one...Where is he now?

im speechless man really i am first the fiance then his sister thats really to much to hadle, does he have any other family ???

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Originally Posted by 956Vette

:( unbelievable. Best wishes, cant offer any advice on this one...Where is he now?

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he was in a deleware hospital for a few days, they did resucitate the girl and kept her on life support for 2 days (she was brain dead but her body was still functioning)so they could donate here organs, he came home for an hour the other night and i talked with him, considering all he was o.k. but ghost white and about 15lbs lighter, he sounded good but looked bad, i had no idea what to say, he cracked a joke, packed his bag and went back to his hometown to take care of his parents, they are a wreck the mother was in the hospital parking lot pounding on the pavement and the dad passed out at first sight of his daughters condition. she has 2 kids one that is 3 and another who is 1, the father keeps telling the 3 yo that his mom is with jesus and the angels and the kid responds"ok as long as she comes back tomorow she has to clean my clothes" that broke my heart, even writing it it makes me a little teary eyed, it is so sad, these boys will never really know there mom. she was also the glue and provider of the family the dad isn't the most ambitious guy, right now he is unemployed and does side jobs under the table (handy man/mover) it just sucks

You need to get him to talk to someone. Take him to see a therapist or if he is religious to talk to a priest.

Shit man you made me cry..I wont lie. Thats horrible luck. Just keep checking up with him and ask him if he wants to talk about it. Also..a therapist like Carlos said. Wow..that is really terrible. I hope the best for him..

i will suggest a therapist, you are both right he needs to talk this out, i don't want to see him go on a drinking/drug binge or do anything dumb. it is a sad sad day, tommorow is the wake MBarasso(an old moderator here on the board) and myself are going to be there for him, hopefully he will listen to reasonand talk to someone , he is a bit stuborn.

Take him to church bro. Let him go in and talk to the big man. Things happen for a reason, and they couldn't have happened any other way. He's destined to have these two events, and to just go on and find new strengths.

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Originally Posted by SnaX

Take him to church bro. Let him go in and talk to the big man. Things happen for a reason, and they couldn't have happened any other way. He's destined to have these two events, and to just go on and find new strengths.

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i agree , but it is so much easier said than done. went to the wake today, i decided i hate old people. god dam lady in front of me and her to friends were talking uo a storm like nothin happened, one lady was talking about how tall her grandson was , another was talking about how the city dug up the street by her house, i wanted to scream, SHUT THE FCK UP!! but i knew it wasn't my place , someone is dead the family is literaly 3 ft away and you are sitting here gossiping about trivial nonsense loudly while others are trying to have a quiet somber moment and remember there loved one, you want to talk? than go down the street to a coffee shop and talk your self stupid but have some damn respect for there loss! if this was a releative of mine i would have definately said something and booted these old hags without a second thought

The Big Man is always there but He's mysterious. I'm in the DC area and it seems that the family and unemployed dad may be close (Delaware). Let me know if I can help with some employment. I have a couple of connections in the construction trades.

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Originally Posted by Grappler13

The Big Man is always there but He's mysterious. I'm in the DC area and it seems that the family and unemployed dad may be close (Delaware). Let me know if I can help with some employment. I have a couple of connections in the construction trades.

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hey that means alot, thank you! i will pass the word along. it is a really great gesture and i do appreciate it

My lord...he will truly need you and his family/friends to be there for him...just let him know you care and are there for him...this is a very tough situation.

My Mom died on Thanksgiving Day and as i type this my Dad is in ICU due to a swollen pancreas and some gallbladder issues...not there as i live out of state but i am gonna have to make another flight possibly. Been a shit time for my family so i feel his pain.

only suggestions i can make is that you need to be as strong as possible cause it seems he looks to you for strength, and no matter how hard it is for you not to break down and show how hurt you are also, i think if your strong it will be a huge help to him. secondly if he starts to go on those binges you have to step in and give him alternatives to this destructive behavior. that is just my opinion and i am no ways an expert in this type of situation. STAY STRONG BRO you have all our support

I'm sorry to hear this, Doc. The part about the little boy asking where his mama was tore me in half.
Your a great guy, and I am sure you will do whatever humanly possible to help your friend.

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Originally Posted by WEBBNB

only suggestions i can make is that you need to be as strong as possible cause it seems he looks to you for strength, and no matter how hard it is for you not to break down and show how hurt you are also, i think if your strong it will be a huge help to him. secondly if he starts to go on those binges you have to step in and give him alternatives to this destructive behavior. that is just my opinion and i am no ways an expert in this type of situation. STAY STRONG BRO you have all our support

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it is sound advice thanks , we are going to only have fun, i will keep his mind off this, i got tickets alreday to take him to an NBA game and i have a girl i want to introduce him too. i am going to be attached to his hip, i have my girlfriend also working on ideas to keep him busy and get him out of the house to get his mind off of this.

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Originally Posted by Keyser Sozey

I'm sorry to hear this, Doc. The part about the little boy asking where his mama was tore me in half.
Your a great guy, and I am sure you will do whatever humanly possible to help your friend.

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thanks K most appreciated my friend!

I truly feel for you, your friend, and his family. The best advice I can give is to be available to him and try your best to keep him involved with his family. As bad as he hurts they will need support too and maybe move through this easier together. May prayers go to all.

wow thats rough man. he and his family will be in my prayers for sure

(keeps telling the 3 yo that his mom is with jesus and the angels and the kid responds"ok as long as she comes back tomorow she has to clean my clothes")

that got me all sad...
i feel bad for the guy....
life sometimes isnt really fair is it??

doc.sust all you can do is really be there for him...
and stay strong for him..
i think he looks to you for help, and at a time like this will be the best time to keep look out for him..