Hi new guy here, deppressed and looking for advice

**fellinglow** · 02-04-2006, 09:36 PM

Hi everybody

Done 3 cycles all of them very friendly (if there is such thing)
contained dbol and deca

the only different part was an increase with deca during the third cycle, nothing weird really.

So to my health, physically im alright. But my mental health is down the drain.
Let me explain:

Just after ending cycle 3 i had some serious problems with both family and friends, that TOTALLY worn me out mentally. I believe this deppression i now have is a combination of ending the cycle + all the problems i got.

My symptoms:

Total lack of energy
Insomnia
Sex drive at the bottom
From being generally a cool, straight forward happy guy im now just sad with no personality, charisma or GO

Im since a couple of months back taking anti deppressives, the only thing that are better since then is my sex drive. Im also taking medicine to be able to sleep but if i stop with those it gets back to where i was without it

Im scared + people dont recognize me anymore

What should I do from here? Obviously the medicine i got dont work for me 100%. I have no idea where to start.

**Sage** · 02-04-2006, 09:51 PM

i am not a doctor, but that is going to be one hell of a miraculous recovery to get your limp mojo out of the coma due to your continuous deca /dbol cycles.

**TheMudMan** · 02-04-2006, 09:52 PM

You should have blood work done to see where your hormone levels are at. They could and sound like they are still suppressed.

Did you run clomid after the cycle to get HPTA functions back?

One other thing the cycle wasn't friendly at all........... test is needed especially with a compound like deca

**Mike Dura** · 02-04-2006, 09:56 PM

You're reaching out for help which is resourceful. Talk to your doctor and let him know that you still feel depressed. Also, consider seeing a cognitive therapist as well. Doing both (meds and cog. therapy) has been shown to be highly affective - a one-two punch. Tell you doctor about your steroid use . Maybe you can get tested for your own test levels and if necesary, you may need something to bring that back to normal.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I've been depressed for years and unfortunately for me it took me a long time to get the help I needed. The sooner you get your meds correct the better. It's trial and error and it may take time. I know how estranged you can feel and how nobody gets it. You see people just cut and run and you feel alone. Than people may tell you shit like...it's all in your head or "you're not depressed" or other insensitive comments, "pull yourself out of it." These comments are born of ignorance. What is more, people with depression are commonly rejected socially. You become like the wounded floundering fish that draws attention from sharks. This certainly doesn't help depression right? Hang tough man. I can tell already that you are more resourceful about it than I was and I think that's gonna go a long way for you.

If you ever really get into a deep funk and you need to talk, have a crisis hot line number available. That can help. If you want to talk further with me on depression you can write me any time. Also, realize that your own thoughts may be your worst enemy right now. Depression has a way of really making your thinking process rigid and your perspective really gets out of wack. When you start thinking negatively try to divert your attention with an activity rather than punishing yourself. Also, you may want to consider cardio and fish oils. I've read good things about that with respect to depression - especially with cardio. Good luck bro.

Originally Posted by fellinglow

Hi everybody

Done 3 cycles all of them very friendly (if there is such thing)
contained dbol and deca

the only different part was an increase with deca during the third cycle, nothing weird really.

So to my health, physically im alright. But my mental health is down the drain.
Let me explain:

Just after ending cycle 3 i had some serious problems with both family and friends, that TOTALLY worn me out mentally. I believe this deppression i now have is a combination of ending the cycle + all the problems i got.

My symptoms:

Total lack of energy
Insomnia
Sex drive at the bottom
From being generally a cool, straight forward happy guy im now just sad with no personality, charisma or GO

Im since a couple of months back taking anti deppressives, the only thing that are better since then is my sex drive. Im also taking medicine to be able to sleep but if i stop with those it gets back to where i was without it

Im scared + people dont recognize me anymore

What should I do from here? Obviously the medicine i got dont work for me 100%. I have no idea where to start.

**LB55blitz** · 02-04-2006, 09:57 PM

Yea you screwed yourself by jumping into something that you know practically nothing about. It's gonna take time to get back to normal. The laziness, limp dick, etc is generally from your lack of natural testosterone production. You can get some clomid that may help that, however I suggest you give more details about your cycle and how long you've been off before jumping into another compound.

Also I can guarantee most of this is just because you think you are depressed. I have taken numerous compounds and not once has my mental health or personality gone down. Why? Because I didn't let it. You're telling yourself that you're ****ed up, therefore you are. The depression isn't really chemical, just your limp dick and tiredness due to lack of test.

Guess next time you'll do some research eh?

**LB55blitz** · 02-04-2006, 09:58 PM

Originally Posted by TheMudMan

You should have blood work done to see where your hormone levels are at. They could and sound like they are still suppressed.

Did you run clomid after the cycle to get HPTA functions back?

One other thing the cycle wasn't friendly at all........... test is needed especially with a compound like deca

I'd put a large amount of $$ that he doesn't even know what clomid is (natural test stimulator fyi to the thread starter). Uugghhh deca /dbol just makes my weiner limp thinking about it.

**steve0** · 02-04-2006, 10:13 PM

i think my balls are in the back of my neck !!, look bro we have al been depressed for one reason or another sometimes you gotta take the BS and put it into your own hands and get up and put it in drive, sometimes you cant exspect someone to always be there, sometimes it takes a new move in life to get a jump start, if you are haveing prblems with family and friends try o patch them up.

i have been through the same thing, i didnt take those drugs, but i had problems with money, ect, so i decided the best thing for me to do was to move back to were all my best friends are, so here in a few months i'll be back with some of the best people in my life, sure there are some people in my life that dont agree but you will always have that,

remeber you cant live your life for someone eles.

**fellinglow** · 02-05-2006, 12:27 AM

Wow, i never thought i would get 6 replies already

Thanks for pepping me and give some suggestions, i will look thru everything thats been said a couple of times just to get things straight

Yea you are right that i dont know much, mostly cause i have been in the hand of some "friends" that i believed knew this. I mean its one thing to say go for it and me accepting this, but where are my friends when i feel bad, this is the time i need my friends and buddies that knew so much about this

Im very much aware though that the after cycle affects people differently. The stuff that occured just after in a short period of time just CRUSHED me. I was oversea and got home to my girlfriend, which i heard from several sources she had been screwing around with one of my better buddies and it was true. Had to close everything with her, and my buddy. On top of that one of my very closest family members treated me really really bad just when i needed the most support. I dont think i have been treated that bad by anyone ever, nothing physical but mental terror.

Anyway i feel very relieved that i got some attention

BY TheMudMan:
Did you run clomid after the cycle to get HPTA functions back?

nah i didnt, just cut back on the deca and dbol last 3 weeks until nothing
Would clomid help me in anyway as it is now ?

BY Mike Dura
Maybe you can get tested for your own test levels and if necesary, you may need something to bring that back to normal.

Im very unsure if i would be able to tell my doctor about this, is there any other way thats possible

BY Mike Dura
When you start thinking negatively try to divert your attention with an activity rather than punishing yourself. Also, you may want to consider cardio and fish oils. I've read good things about that with respect to depression - especially with cardio.

Im gonna try the fish oil and try and activate myself but its hard, i have hardly been able to take care of myself last months, its tough. I have really tried to think positive but when it comes down over me im all lost. Also i havnt laughed since it started, cant seem to enjoy anything and even gets unfocused when people are talking to me, everything sounds like too much to handle whatever it may be

BY LB55blitz
I'd put a large amount of $$ that he doesn't even know what clomid is (natural test stimulator fyi to the thread starter). Uugghhh deca/dbol just makes my weiner limp thinking about it.

Ok, so clomid is some kind of tester of my hormone levels ?

What i must try right away
1) fishoil, also is it good to get some vitamines or minerals ?
2) i have to know if my hormone levels are deranged, from either a doctor or something i can do myself

Im open for anything

again thanks for being here, at least now i can talk with you guys that knows and understand what im talking about

**notanormalgent** · 02-05-2006, 03:17 AM

Stop taking those bs medications, they just make you numb.

Go to your doc and get some bloodwork done, I'm sure he'll find something wrong.

In the mean time, keep working out, eat healthy, listen to music, meditate, go on walks, and read some self help books. It's also important to shut out negative people from your life. Godspeed.

**taiboxa** · 02-05-2006, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by notanormalgent

Stop taking those bs medications, they just make you numb.

Go to your doc and get some bloodwork done, I'm sure he'll find something wrong.
In the mean time, keep working out, eat healthy, listen to music, meditate, go on walks, and read some self help books. It's also important to shut out negative people from your life. Godspeed.

DONT they always?!
i mean i went in and they said i had bad cholestrol ROFL wat ever.. 400 aint BAD at ALL!

**Bojangles69** · 02-05-2006, 10:11 AM

yeh im no doc... yet, but i do study psychotherapy and you seem to have misconceived something where you said "physically im alright", physically you dont sound alright, physically these little chemicals in your body that are supposed to keep you balanced are now lacking and making you vulnerable and more likely to become distressed over situational factors that you emotionally and previously would have had the power to get through. My only piece of advice besides the obvious and already mentioned is, sometimes depression is like you sitting on a slide and someone starts pouring grease down the slide and you just keep sliding down further and further without realizing all you had to do was get off the slide. Dont set any mental traps and start giving yourself evidence on why you should be depressed, let a doc figure that out if anyone. Back in the day when there was no such thing as the word "depression" people would assume they were just in a bad mood and because thats what they ASSUMED thats what it was and thats what it BECAME and they got over it. Now in days people assume they are depressed and it becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy, none of the less depression can be serious just that most people ive met were suffering more from a fear or being depressed than actual depression itself, just some food for thought.

**SnaX** · 02-05-2006, 12:20 PM

Hey bro get some more posts and stuff, so i can send you a PM. Or just send me a message on AIM messenger. my screen name is in my profile.
And you can tell me whats up. Take it easy bro

**powerliftmike** · 02-05-2006, 12:24 PM

Deca is great isnt it? You should have taken test and then done proper pct.

**Juddman** · 02-05-2006, 12:32 PM

this looks like a combo of a lot of things at once...your hormones are likely all messed up from doing a cycle with no test in it...along with all of the negative life events you listed.
the best things to do I would recommend are to:
1)go get your hormone levels checked, having your hormones all messed up and your natural test still shut down will make your situation a lot worse, as it seems to be doing
2)you have to try and deal with your personal problems in a productive way. whether it be see a psychologist, or on your own if you can. there is no shame in seeing a psychologist in my opinion if needed.
3)keep active..stay in the gym, eat healthy, just keep hammering that healthy lifestyle down and i hope you start to feel better bro.
good luck

**Mike Dura** · 02-05-2006, 11:53 PM

Yeah, that's been my experience with depression too. It makes it hard to concentrate and information processing in general is impaired. Measurable cognitive defecits, I read, are common with depression. I remember watching people's mouth's move and it was as if they were talking at 78 rpm while I was listening at 33 rpm. It really slows you down. It feels like your brain is wrapped tightly in gauze pads and everything sounds muffled and removed. Your ability to get anything done in general is greatly impaired and if your depressed long enough you forget who you are. In my case, finding the right meds were a very important part of recovery. This took time though and what works for one person doesn't for the next. Paxil didn't work and the sexual sides sucked. Lexipro did me well. Good luck man. In the long run, any kind of trial deepens character I think.

[QUOTE=fellinglow]Also i havnt laughed since it started, cant seem to enjoy anything and even gets unfocused when people are talking to me, everything sounds like too much to handle whatever it may be