g/f advice dont know what to do??

**pelly789** · 05-09-2006, 10:33 PM

alright heres the story, ive been dating my gf for over 2 years now, and the problem is that i know she has done xtc once before i met her, however i told her when she brought it up that if she did it agian i would break it off with her, well come to find out last weekend she went out with some friends and took it agian, im not into drugs at all especially one like xtc i drink occasionally but not too often but thats the extent to it. i dont know what i should do i hate being around people that do drugs and have lost a few friends because of it before, im just lost at what to do about this does any one have any advice about what i should do...should i break it off or try to talk to her first? i warned her i would break it off if i found out she did it agian and she did any way so i guess that means that she doesnt care too much about what i think? what do you think??

**Kale** · 05-09-2006, 10:37 PM

How did you find out ?

**pelly789** · 05-09-2006, 10:40 PM

well she lied to me when i asked her if she ever did it agian and then i let it rest for a week, after that i played it out like i wanted to try it and she kinda slipped and told me that she did, i feel really betrayed in a way, i just dont know what to do

**QuieTSToRM33** · 05-09-2006, 10:41 PM

ive been in that situation before .... you have to make a decision bro ..... what is more important to you at this point of your life ? ... a drug-free life .... or a girlfriend who uses

**pelly789** · 05-09-2006, 10:44 PM

Originally Posted by QuieTSToRM33

ive been in that situation before .... you have to make a decision bro ..... what is more important to you at this point of your life ? ... a drug-free life .... or a girlfriend who uses

your right and i even layed it out on the line by telling her straight up that i would break it off if i found out she did it agian, and not even 3 days later she did, so i find that very f*cked up like she doesnt care that id break up with her

***Billy_Bathgate*** · 05-09-2006, 10:49 PM

id say break it off

then again, if you do roids? dont you lie to people about it? kinda same thing...just because its not bad in your mind doesnt justify it..know what i mean...dont call the kettle too black

**Kale** · 05-09-2006, 10:49 PM

Listen here bro, I have had more relationships than you have had hot dinners. If you cant trust her, its just not going to work simple as that. There are plenty more fish in the sea that dont take drugs. Go find one IMO, and cut this one loose !

**PhishStasH** · 05-09-2006, 10:50 PM

Originally Posted by pelly789

your right and i even layed it out on the line by telling her straight up that i would break it off if i found out she did it agian, and not even 3 days later she did, so i find that very f*cked up like she doesnt care that id break up with her

It's a hard one. Way I see it, if you let it slide, you show her she can do what she wants and you're not gonna do a f*cking thing about it. However, I do believe (in most cases) a second chance is an option.

**PhishStasH** · 05-09-2006, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by Kale

Listen here bro, I have had more relationships than you have had hot dinners. If you cant trust her, its just not going to work simple as that. There are plenty more fish in the sea that dont take drugs. Go find one IMO, and cut this one loose !

This advice is much better than mine. *shrug*

**pelly789** · 05-09-2006, 10:57 PM

Originally Posted by Billy_Bathgate

id say break it off

then again, if you do roids? dont you lie to people about it? kinda same thing...just because its not bad in your mind doesnt justify it..know what i mean...dont call the kettle too black

i dont do roids...yet but what i do take im honest about and to people that do matter to me i would be honest with them if they asked me about it....but anyway am i wrong for feeling like betrayed because of what i told her and she did it anyway....if she lied about that im sure theres other stuff shes not telling me either. i hate being in these kind of situations guess ill have to think about it and cool down before i talk to her cuz im really pissed off about it

**C_Bino** · 05-09-2006, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by pelly789

well she lied to me when i asked her if she ever did it agian and then i let it rest for a week, after that i played it out like i wanted to try it and she kinda slipped and told me that she did, i feel really betrayed in a way, i just dont know what to do

This says it all to me. If I ever had to lie or sneak the truth out of my g/f, or trick her into "slipping up" the relationship would be done. That is not something I want to be involved in.
To me its not the fact that she uses, its the fact you dont trust her, if you dont trust her you shouldnt be with her. Kale the 50 year old virgin have you good advice, stick to that...

Sorry Kale, I had to hit ya with that...

**PhishStasH** · 05-09-2006, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by C_Bino

To me its not the fact that she uses, its the fact you dont trust her, if you dont trust her you shouldnt be with her. Kale the 50 year old virgin have you good advice, stick to that...

Sorry Kale, I had to hit ya with that...

**Kale** · 05-09-2006, 11:08 PM

Originally Posted by C_Bino

This says it all to me. If I ever had to lie or sneak the truth out of my g/f, or trick her into "slipping up" the relationship would be done. That is not something I want to be involved in.
To me its not the fact that she uses, its the fact you dont trust her, if you dont trust her you shouldnt be with her. Kale the 50 year old virgin have you good advice, stick to that...

Sorry Kale, I had to hit ya with that...

Oh to be a virgin again and know what I know now and also still be 15. The bitches would be running for cover !!!!

**MrMeathead** · 05-09-2006, 11:17 PM

Drop the girl bro. I have been in the same situation. Like you already heard there are plenty of fish in the sea. She obviously isn't just holding the fact that she rolled from you. If she lied about one thing then she obviously has a few other hidden secrets. Just like a the old saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" i found that it also applies to people that lie. You obviously aren't into the whole drug scene soo why be in a relationship with someone who is? If she is into X then she obviously is into other recreational drugs as well that you might not be aware of. Either way good luck with your choice man.

**ascendant** · 05-09-2006, 11:20 PM

Originally Posted by Kale

Listen here bro, I have had more relationships than you have had hot dinners. If you cant trust her, its just not going to work simple as that. There are plenty more fish in the sea that dont take drugs. Go find one IMO, and cut this one loose !

seems like you and me are on the same level here kale.

it's one thing for someone to do something stupid in a relationship, but breaking trust is the worst IMO. if people feel a need to lie to one another to keep each other, they shouldn't be together. that includes you guys who keep gear a secret from your girls. i keep no secrets from my girl. if she can't accept me for who i am, then things won't work.

might want to ask her why she feels a need to do drugs? ask her what she's hoping to accomplish by taking them? if she says it's just for fun, tell her you think a threesome with one of her girlfriends would be much more fun (not to mention healthier).

well, you have to consider where this relationship is at and aside from this lie(s), how is the rest of the relationship? if you truly want to make things work, i'd have a serious talk with her. if i were you, first, i'd lay a guilt trip on her about how you've never lied to her cause you have more respect for her than that. next, tell her how much her lying hurt, bothered, etc you. after that, ask why she did something that she knew could potentially end your relationship if you found out? ask her if the drugs mean more than the relationship, because she put your relationship at jeopardy to do drugs she knew you were strongly against. then, after all else is said and done, tell her if you ever find out she's lied to you again, no matter what it is, you won't be able to deal with it and won't be able to be with her. don't be threatening about it, cause that won't help. but just let her know you can't deal with a relationship that isn't based on openness and honesty, but that you care enough about her to still try to make things work despite the circumstances.

unless everything else is just about perfect though, i wouldn't bother and i'd kick her to the curb. not only did she lie to you, but she did something that she knew could potentially end your relationship.

**juiceboxxx** · 05-09-2006, 11:38 PM

once a druggy = always a druggy

btw your avatar looks like diegos body from ufc

**PhishStasH** · 05-09-2006, 11:47 PM

Originally Posted by juiceboxxx

once a druggy = always a druggy

As an addict myself, and experience w/ NA...this is a FACT.

**PhishStasH** · 05-09-2006, 11:49 PM

This is not to say though we are homing in on your girl as a "druggie", b/c I believe there are a few who do use recreationally every once in a blue moon and don't make a habit out of it.

**ascendant** · 05-09-2006, 11:53 PM

Originally Posted by juiceboxxx

once a druggy = always a druggy

btw your avatar looks like diegos body from ufc

i disagree. i used to smoke weed when i was younger like it was going out of style. my dad grew the stuff, so i'd smoke over an ounce a day at one point. oh, the brain-cells i burnt out...

anyway, i used to drink, smoke, and even did ecstasy once myself, but then i simply started knowing better and grew out of it. problem is, you go through a BIG transition while getting out of them, cause it's basically about a personality change and a complete change in focus and direction in life. maybe not all people do, but i know i certainly did.

**PhishStasH** · 05-09-2006, 11:57 PM

Originally Posted by ascendant

i disagree. i used to smoke weed when i was younger like it was going out of style. my dad grew the stuff, so i'd smoke over an ounce a day at one point. oh, the brain-cells i burnt out...

anyway, i used to drink, smoke, and even did ecstasy once myself, but then i simply started knowing better and grew out of it. problem is, you go through a BIG transition while getting out of them, cause it's basically about a personality change and a complete change in focus and direction in life. maybe not all people do, but i know i certainly did.

This holds true for myself, as well. But not everyone is the same and blah, blah.

**zimmy** · 05-10-2006, 07:11 AM

gotta say... i used to use drugs heavy....now i take the occasional xanex with my booz when partying....

if i were you i'd be more concerned that she lied about it. I've used e before. Never seen anyone use it who didn't dry hump everyone around em. Not trying to make you mad... just saying... to me it be a trust issue. She lied about that, what else is there?

**Timm1704** · 05-10-2006, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by MrMeathead

Drop the girl bro. I have been in the same situation. Like you already heard there are plenty of fish in the sea. She obviously isn't just holding the fact that she rolled from you. If she lied about one thing then she obviously has a few other hidden secrets. Just like a the old saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" i found that it also applies to people that lie. You obviously aren't into the whole drug scene soo why be in a relationship with someone who is? If she is into X then she obviously is into other recreational drugs as well that you might not be aware of. Either way good luck with your choice man.

il have to disagree. i know alot of people that use some kidn of rec drug, and only one kind. i myself will have the occasional joint, but very rarely. i also do not dabble in ANYTHING else, hardly even drink. i have afew friends that will snort the devils dandruff most nights out, and pop pills, but i have no desire to join them, and they never even ask if i wanna try

**Timm1704** · 05-10-2006, 07:12 AM

but, back to the main point of the thread, its a trust issue, ive been out with a girl that put me in afew similar situations, i stuck with her for most of them and then it just got too hurtful. on the other hand, if youve been with her for 2 years, and trust hasnt been an issue before, then i would take another perspective on the matter.

**Dave321** · 05-10-2006, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by juiceboxxx

once a druggy = always a druggy

btw your avatar looks like diegos body from ufc

bs... you'd be surprised at the amount of people that use to be "druggy's"... and now could care less about the substances. Being a "kid" was once fun, but it's time to grow up. Dont' make assumptions.

**Mizfit** · 05-10-2006, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by Burger King

bs... you'd be surprised at the amount of people that use to be "druggy's"... and now could care less about the substances. Being a "kid" was once fun, but it's time to grow up. Dont' make assumptions.

quite a few people dabble.. so i have to agree with the burger nugget.

Not everyone becomes a user and abuser.. it depends a lot on the person.

I think the biggest issue is that she lied.. and she would've kept the lie had u not tricked her.

**OSTIE** · 05-10-2006, 07:51 AM

If you do decide to stay with this girl.... get her off rolls... IMO, that is one of the worst drugs a person can take... You never know what they are stamped with... But its usually a mixture of coke, meth, other nasty chemicals and the lighter colored ones are also stamped with heroin...

MTV had a great special awhile back where a teenager from CO went raving and took ONE roll and it was her FIRST time, but it was a bad roll and she fcked up her brain nasty.... they showed an xray of her brain and there were all these holes....I guess she had the brain of an 80yr old woman after that...

Id say dig up articles like that to scare her.... Plus a common side effect of abusing that drug is to become permanantly depressed...

BTW, not trying to disobey the no drug rec rule, just trying to show how bad this substance is and how the girl should be educated on its dangers....

**soccer#3** · 05-10-2006, 11:32 AM

u need to take her to extasy witout extasy

**Tren Bull** · 05-10-2006, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by pelly789

alright heres the story, ive been dating my gf for over 2 years now, and the problem is that i know she has done xtc once before i met her, however i told her when she brought it up that if she did it agian i would break it off with her, well come to find out last weekend she went out with some friends and took it agian, im not into drugs at all especially one like xtc i drink occasionally but not too often but thats the extent to it. i dont know what i should do i hate being around people that do drugs and have lost a few friends because of it before, im just lost at what to do about this does any one have any advice about what i should do...should i break it off or try to talk to her first? i warned her i would break it off if i found out she did it agian and she did any way so i guess that means that she doesnt care too much about what i think? what do you think??

i can understand that you arent down with the whole drug scene, but imo dumping your girl over it is pretty extreme. its not like she cheated on you or anything

**GQ-Bouncer** · 05-10-2006, 07:00 PM

whatever man, it's not worth throwing away a 2 year relationship cuz she popped an e-tab at a party

people make mistakes, be more concerned that she lied to you

**Natty99** · 05-10-2006, 07:09 PM

These are facts....

Once a lair always a liar

Once a cheater always a cheater

Oh yeah how hot is she?

**taiboxa** · 05-11-2006, 08:34 AM

i would say ditch her but easier said then done.. question is .. what did she do after she popped the tab ?

or WHO did she do?.. everything has a domino effect and the question is.. which way are they falling?

**Kale** · 05-11-2006, 08:36 AM

Bump for a "Dump the bitch" update

**musubi** · 05-11-2006, 11:55 AM

If you hadn't laid it out in the beginning that would be one thing. But if your g/f disregards your feelings about something as trivial to give up as the occasional drug use (and lies about it as well), that is a complete lack of respect on her end.

You need to look at what you want and expect moving forward in a relationship: if this situation isn't part of it then move on.