100 Ways to be a Better Asshole!!!...

[Mizfit]

1. Argue with everybody.
2. Touch the paintings at the museum.
3. Get hysterical.
4. Threaten law suits.
5. Insinuate, implicate and insist.
6. If you got it, flaunt it.
7. Eat produce at the grocery store and don't pay for it.
8. Gamble with the rent money.
9. Record over a borrowed vcr tape
10. Tell people that they are in your will, even if they aren't.
11. Don't get caught.
12. Stay directly in front or behine fire trucks and ambulances.
13. When giving out directions, leave out a turn or two.
14. Don't make up your mind.
15. Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air.
16. Remind people who lose their job that they should work harder.
17. Talk with your mouth full.
18. Accuse, confuse and refuse.
19. Comment on the weight gain of others.
20. Adjust your nuts (boob) whenever you want.
21. Keep a pile of wisecracks for tense and serious situations.
22. Answer a question with a question.
23. See what it takes for the lifeguard to blow the whistle.
24. Don't give to charities unless you get something back.
25. Add the straw that breaks the camels back.
26. Clean your finger nails at the dinner table.
27. Tell people what they think they wanna hear.
28. Notice good ideas and pass them on as your own.
29. Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner or hotel reservations.
30. Don't volunteer for the back seat and never take the middle one.
31. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
32. Never do anything until you have been asked twice.
33. Put off until tomorrow whatever you can do the day after tomorrow.
34. Spot test "Wet Paint" signs.
35. Go up on the down escalator and vice versa.
36. Dont shower after a hard workout.
37. Lie about your age.
38. Change channels every two seconds
39. Develop at least 3 strategies for cutting if front of a
40. Underline in other peoples books.
41. Slurp your soup.
42. If you can't think of something nice, say something nasty.
43. Be judgmental.
44. Announce when your going to the bathroom.
45. Read over peoples shoulders on the bus.
46. Ignore deadlines.
47. Revenge is sweet... so get some.
48. Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while your at it, leave the cap off.
49. Curse the umpire at a Little League game.
50. When it says "Reserved Parking" that means you.
51. Take the labels off of unopened cans.
52. Cover up your mistakes and pass the blame.
53. Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one that you want.
54. Borrow handkerchiefs to blow your nose.
55. When your done with your gum, stick it under the chair.
56. If you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it.
57. Bribe little kids... cause they're easy!
58. Put a rude message on someone elses answering machine.
59. Measure people by their money and the clothes they wear.
60. Be ambiguous, it lets you work both sides of the issue.
61. Leave your underwear in the sink.
62. Chew other peoples pencils.
63. Support the death penalty for parking tickets.
64. Get a backseat drivers license.
65. Dish it out, but don't take it.
66. Be a perfectionist in absolutely everything.
67. Apologize a lot, but don't change.
68. Change the rules to suit your needs.
69. Put your cigarette out in planters.
70. Wear a shirt thats says '**** You' or to that affect.
71. Pull the covers over to your side.
72. Eat cookies or crackers in bed.
73. Let doors slam behind you ? in people's faces.
74. Repeat yourself.
75. Repeat yourself.
76. Tell your kids 'How it was..' back when you were a kid.
77. Vividly describe a hysterectomy to your date before ordering dinner.
78. Scribble your signature on important documents.
79. Use the whole can of starter fluid on the charcoal.
80. Put things back where they don't belong.
81. Take a colicky baby to the movies.
82. Have belching contests in restaurants.
83. Make the same mistake twice.
84. Pee in the swimming pool.
85. Ride on the shoulder un you pass all the jammed traffic, and then cut in.
86. Wear a large hat to the movies.
87. Always have an ulterior motive.
88. Always take the biggest piece.
89. Forget the pooper scooper when walking your dog.
90. Take cheap shots.
91. Take forever to find a word in Scrabble.
92. Cause gridlock.
93. Get up on the wrong side of bed.
94. Change your mind.
95. Glue a chip on your shoulder.
96. Put salt in sugar containers.
97. Blow out other peoples birthday candles.
98. Don't refill the ice cube tray.
99. Ask people what they paid for their clothes.
100. Cut off people in the middle of their sentences.
101. Practice pulling the wool over people's faces.

[RA]

Aww Miz, I couldnt see you doing any of those.

[Hackamaniac]

I'm no asshole then

[Tren Bull]

haha, you're funny

[Mizfit]

Aww Miz, I couldnt see you doing any of those.

I'm an angel

[Myka]

done all those...seriously that describes me...*reflects on life*

[RA]

I'm an angel

Oh damn your right. If I look hard enough I can see the halo....or is it horns?

[Billy_Bathgate]

"12. Stay directly in front or behine fire trucks and ambulances."

the last guy that did that i had him arrested and sent to jail

guess sometimes its handy having guys that are also police on the dept

[stunner5000pt]

6. If you got it, flaunt it.

yup thats me

[Katelette81]

100. Cut off people in the middle of their sentences.
.[/QUOTE]

I try not to! I just can't contain my excitement sometimes!

[IronReload04]

23. See what it takes for the lifeguard to blow the whistle.

heheheh the memories

[Timm1704]

97. Blow out other peoples birthday candles.

hahaha that would be hilarious

[big L 17]

HAHHA i do a good 15 of those is that bad.

[~fuelforfire~]

6. If you got it, flaunt it.

yup thats me

haha, **** ya always flex and tell other people they wish they had it.

[ascendant]

well someone apparently had a lot of time on their hands, eh mizfit? great stuff.

regretfully though, as i read through it, there were constant reminders of many of the people i know. damn, i need new friends, lol.

[ProtienShak3]

9. Record over a borrowed vcr tape

ah ha this list is way outdated who has a vcr anymore these days!!!!????

lol i want a more modern asshole list please!

[ShnouzedUp]

97. Blow out other peoples birthday candles.

hahaha that would be hilarious

haha... i actually did that a few months ago... and it was.. very halarious.. lol... good thing they all had a good sense of humor

[smokethedays]

#74 and 75 are the same.

[Homeguard]

#74 and 75 are the same.

He's right you know

[Homeguard]

#74 and 75 are the same.

He's right you know

[Timm1704]

He's right you know

[Kale]

I just scored 100/100

[Timm1704]

I just scored 100/100

asshole

[WEBB]

i did number 29 last month, i made rservation foor the nicest hotel in Edmonton, and they said is it Dr. or Hon. and i was like Dr.WEBB. when i checked in they are like can we do anything else for you Dr.Webb...i tried to not laugh...it was awesome

[Mizfit]

i confess to doing a few.. but honestly.. when i know i have annoyed someone.. i can't stop myself

[WEBB]

i confess to doing a few.. but honestly.. when i know i have annoyed someone.. i can't stop myself

it hard to stop once you find that button that drives someone nuts...you just keep pushing it and pushing it...its so much fun...

[Mizfit]

it hard to stop once you find that button that drives someone nuts...you just keep pushing it and pushing it...its so much fun...

Glad someone else agrees

I know how to get under ppls skin when they let me.. and well pure amusement.

[RA]

That really pisses me off.

[hotstuff]

44. announce when you are going to the bathroom.

I do that all the time at work. "Be right back guys. gotta go pee."
I don't knowwhy I just feel like everyone should know! hehe

[Rob]

44. announce when you are going to the bathroom.

I do that all the time at work. "Be right back guys. gotta go pee."
I don't knowwhy I just feel like everyone should know! hehe

that grosses me out when a girl does that...especially if she said shes goin to do #2...id cut her out completely

[Mizfit]

that grosses me out when a girl does that...especially if she said shes goin to do #2...id cut her out completely

Hmm number 2 just doesn't happen

But i consider it a turn off to tell a guy that

[stunner5000pt]

100. Cut off people in the middle of their sentences.
.

I try not to! I just can't contain my excitement sometimes![/QUOTE]

or i dont think very much of them!

im sorry... yes i am an asshole

[stunner5000pt]

i confess to doing a few.. but honestly.. when i know i have annoyed someone.. i can't stop myself

the more annoyed someone gets... the more you wanna do the thing... that annoyed them in the first place

now i know why the people around me used to make so much fun of me when i was younger... and i used to get mad

[hotstuff]

that grosses me out when a girl does that...especially if she said shes goin to do #2...id cut her out completely

girls never go #2! We are too cute and sweet to ever do something that gross

[Mizfit]

girls never go #2! We are too cute and sweet to ever do something that gross

Well put

[Rob]

that is what i like to hear

[Myka]

Im actually turned on when girls say they have to pee

I dont want to watch...it just sounds cute

[Mizfit]

Im actually turned on when girls say they have to pee

I dont want to watch...it just sounds cute

I gotta tinkle

[Rob]

If you sprinkle when you tinkle...be a sweetie and wipe the seatie

[Tren Bull]

I gotta tinkle

haha, sounds like something michael jackson would say