girlfriend advice...please

[thegodfather]

safety

[Anabolios]

she will eventually open up to you about the past..and if she doesnt then it must be too difficult for her to speak about it...but i think in time she will open up could be a few months could be a few years...if she is worth it then you need to...not let it go...but go about your lives as normal and dont keep bringing it up...i found that when the tiem is right it will come out


good luck

[firmechicano831]

This is hard. I mean if you love her give her the space that she needs. But then again I would always want to know about her sexual past and see what other things the did that she never told me about. I think I would lie to her to see if she would open up. Like say " well there is somethings I haven't told you as well about my sexual pasts; and make up stories to see if she gets mad and open up with her own and then say I lied. lol

[thegodfather]

This is hard. I mean if you love her give her the space that she needs. But then again I would always want to know about her sexual past and see what other things the did that she never told me about. I think I would lie to her to see if she would open up. Like say " well there is somethings I haven't told you as well about my sexual pasts; and make up stories to see if she gets mad and open up with her own and then say I lied. lol

She is the type of girl who doesn't want to know about my passed. This is how she deals with everything that hurts or is hard, she buries it REALLY DEEP...it eventually eats at her and I fear that shes gonna just breakdown one day...shes done it before and she ended up in the ER after swallowing a bottle of pills...but, I do love her and I do plan on marrying her some day...this is just the kinda shit you have to muscle through appearently..

[Pooks]

U guys prolly shouldnt be together LOL

U're the jelous type...
and she seems to be the flirty/druggie type...

U need a girl who likes to be owned.
I prolly could had worded this post a lot better, but too lazy to go retype it.

[Mizfit]

Sounds to me like she thinks you might not be able to deal with aspects from her past, which is why she is so unwilling to tell you. considering your jealous behavior in the past, she might not be able to let you in for fear of it creating a further rift between the two of you.

Sadly however, it seems her keeping information from you is having the exact effect she would like not to happen.

I'm with Pook, sometimes there are not enough band-aids available to put on a relationship to make it work.

[Doc.Sust]

Sounds to me like she thinks you might not be able to deal with aspects from her past, which is why she is so unwilling to tell you. considering your jealous behavior in the past, she might not be able to let you in for fear of it creating a further rift between the two of you.

Sadly however, it seems her keeping information from you is having the exact effect she would like not to happen.

I'm with Pook, sometimes there are not enough band-aids available to put on a relationship to make it work.

amen to that, i know it is hard at the moment, but in the long run it would be better just to cut your loss and look to the future, there are a lot of girls out there,you can find a brand new girl with none of these complications, a fresh new start. it doesnt get any better than a brand new start after a relationship went bad.i know what i am saying doesnt help how you feel, but give it time,itwill all work out the way it is supposed to. i know i couldnt hack someone keeping secrets like that from me, if it is that bad that she is so ashamed she cant tell you about itm bro it has to be real bad! chances are you dont even want to know,what she may tell you will probably ruin your mental well being and make you resent her. in any relationship, the key to success is open communication, if she is withholding from you, it is a bad thing.

[taiboxa]

Sounds to me like she thinks you might not be able to deal with aspects from her past, which is why she is so unwilling to tell you. considering your jealous behavior in the past, she might not be able to let you in for fear of it creating a further rift between the two of you.

Sadly however, it seems her keeping information from you is having the exact effect she would like not to happen.

I'm with Pook, sometimes there are not enough band-aids available to put on a relationship to make it work.

werds of wisdome

[cfiler]

She should have no reason to tell you everything. If she directly tells you that she's keeping secrets from you, it's obviously bothering her, and she wants to tell someone. She needs to talk to her councelour about that.

My rule is:
No secrets or no relationship.

[RA]

Shes got too much baggage. You have to cut her loose or deal with it for the rest of your life

[Mizfit]

I'm not a mother or a warden, so I don't expect my boyfriend to tell me everything – he doesn’t tell me when he pisses , etc.. You get my drift - but the type of stuff she is keeping appears to be affecting her mentally. - Information like that has to be shared.

An example from my own life – I have ADHD and when I first started dating my boyfriend I didn’t tell him right away. I actually waited a bit longer than I should’ve... but me keeping it from him almost cause us to break up – because he knew I had something that was causing me stress (the fact I hadn’t shared it with him was killing me as I didn’t think it was fair to date him for so long and not have told him).

If a relationship lacks the basics of communication and trust – THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP!

[thegodfather]

I understand what everyone is saying...But I'm not ready to flush 6 years down the drain over something that shes in denial about. Thats what I've figured out it really comes down to, shes in denial about things that she has done in the passed, and cant cope with them herself right now. She see's both a psychiatrist and a therapist. I am mature enough to take the good with the bad. I absolutely love her to death, and my own therapist says im being completely unreasonable about many things, so i may be to blame as well. Thanks for everyones input...

[Doc.Sust]

best of luck

[Pooks]

Alright Cordeleone,
We'll assign her bodyguards, to escort her out of the city, and we'll wack those therapists, n hide their bodies, nice clean job, no one will know.

[Bigmax]

well then its time to grow up.who cares what she did before she was with you bro.Frankly thats not any of your business.You have a past yourself and if she doesnt want to know about it then you do the same.i'm sure my wife had her times before she met me(i'm almost positive she's been with other girls) but hey you know what?....it was before we got together so it doesnt matter.if you love her truly then base your relationship on whats going on NOW.

[Evil Predator]

She'll deal with that for a while my friend.

My ex is an amazing woman, ex-junkie who changed so much it was unbelievable. She's accomplished more than anyone in her family, yet some of them still look down on her for her past.

It used to kill me to see how some of her uncles and aunts would treat her, and she just took it. I got pissed about it once, and told one of them what I thought, she cried and we had a long talk afterwards. It had been bothering her for years, but she wouldnt say anything to anyone. I still keep in touch with her to make sure she's ok, and it still gets to her.

Tell your girl to hang in there and soon enough she wont care about them anymore at all.

[thegodfather]

She'll deal with that for a while my friend.

My ex is an amazing woman, ex-junkie who changed so much it was unbelievable. She's accomplished more than anyone in her family, yet some of them still look down on her for her past.

It used to kill me to see how some of her uncles and aunts would treat her, and she just took it. I got pissed about it once, and told one of them what I thought, she cried and we had a long talk afterwards. It had been bothering her for years, but she wouldnt say anything to anyone. I still keep in touch with her to make sure she's ok, and it still gets to her.

Tell your girl to hang in there and soon enough she wont care about them anymore at all.

Absolutely bro, her one oldest brother still talks down to her and it pisses me off to no end. She has made a complete change in her lifestyle and habits. Shes a great person, she takes care of me like no other, shes supportive, and she tries to help her one drug addict friend get help. So, long story short is that she still has a lot of repressed guilt from those days and its eating at her everyday lately. Theres nothing I can really do except try to be there for her...

Pooks...dont know what you're talking about...there is no such thing as la cosanostra..they dont exist to my knowledge..