I'm in court on Thursday

**Chemical King** · 05-29-2006, 05:52 AM

Iam in court this Thursday for access rights to my son as well as trying for full custody.

Do any of you know of any good sites that I can read up on that would maybe give me an idea of what to expect??

**Chemical King** · 05-30-2006, 06:07 AM

wow, not one response

**Mizfit** · 05-30-2006, 06:11 AM

i actually looked around on web sites to see if i could finsd anything.. but custody laws etc vary from where one lives

**Warrior** · 05-30-2006, 06:16 AM

DadsRights.org has some articles.

What state are you doing this in? States with a real traditional system can make it nearly impossible for a father to get his kid's in a contested divorce... especially young kids.

**Mizfit** · 05-30-2006, 06:18 AM

Originally Posted by Warrior

States with a real traditional system can make it nearly impossible for a father to get his kid's in a contested divorce... especially young kids.

Yah that's what i got from everything i looked up as well.

**J-Dogg** · 05-30-2006, 06:19 AM

Dad's get the shaft pretty much. Let me know if you need a civil rights team to protest outside the court house.

**Chemical King** · 05-30-2006, 06:21 AM

I live in the U.K. and was not married to my ex.

**J-Dogg** · 05-30-2006, 06:23 AM

I think over here in the states the child has to be 12 to decide which parent they would like to live with....about the only way a dad is getting a kid.

My Uncle could not get custody of his son and the mother was a jobless, drunken whore....but fit to raise a kid. He was great dad, spent time with his kid....his kid was his life. He cried at the hearing, was hard for me to see. All the while his Ex just had a satisified evil grin on her face.

**Warrior** · 05-30-2006, 06:28 AM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

Yah that's what i got from everything i looked up as well.

Especially if the bitch - I mean... especially if Mom puts a TRO on you and makes you out to be an abusive person... and then you walk in the courtroom all clean-shaved, built rock-hard with an assertive attitude toward life... it don't help.

It would actually benefit you a lot to dress real pansy-like, cover up any resemblance of being a bodybuilder and act like a big baby... you could try and cry a little too!

Seriously... women can play dirty and the courts tend to go with Mom...

I hate to give you a negative outlook on it but I have seen it happen many times... and lived through it. Dad spending thousands to get no legal part of his kids life. And the child ending up with the parent in a situation that is not nearly as good as what Dad could have provided...

**Warrior** · 05-30-2006, 06:29 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

My Uncle could not get custody of his son and the mother was a jobless, drunken whore....but fit to raise a kid. He was great dad, spent time with his kid....his kid was his life. He cried at the hearing, was hard for me to see. All the while his Ex just had a satisified evil grin on her face.

Reminds me of my experience with this...

**Mizfit** · 05-30-2006, 06:30 AM

Chemical king who is more stable?

Will you have any family able to help you to take care of your son

**Chemical King** · 05-30-2006, 06:34 AM

The one thing i think i got in my favor is the fact that I have my own place and my ex still lives with her parents even though we split up last march.

She shares a small bedroom with my son and then theres the brother in the other room and her mam and dad in another. I believe that this is not good for his mental and social development.

As far as stability goes, i'm still single and would qualify for a house with an extra bedroom should i be succesful whereas my ex doesnt even qualify for housing due to her rent arrears.

I also have a diary of events where she has been difficult regarding access and records of txts that i have sent and recieved. So maybe i have a better chance

**Mizfit** · 05-30-2006, 06:36 AM

you never mentioned his age?

**Chemical King** · 05-30-2006, 06:37 AM

sorry, he is 3

**Warrior** · 05-30-2006, 06:37 AM

Originally Posted by Chemical King

The one thing i think i got in my favor is the fact that I have my own place and my ex still lives with her parents even though we split up last march.

She shares a small bedroom with my son and then theres the brother in the other room and her mam and dad in another. I believe that this is not good for his mental and social development.

As far as stability goes, i'm still single and would qualify for a house with an extra bedroom should i be succesful whereas my ex doesnt even qualify for housing due to her rent arrears.

I also have a diary of events where she has been difficult regarding access and records of txts that i have sent and recieved. So maybe i have a better chance

Keep building up your evidence portfolio... you need it all on paper and in tangible proof. You could throw a temporary restraining order at her - in the US, usually the first one to get a TRO issued gets the upperhand from the start... it's silly, but true...

**Mizfit** · 05-30-2006, 06:37 AM

Have you seen this page?

http://www.ukmm.org.uk/links/uksites.htm

**J-Dogg** · 05-30-2006, 06:39 AM

Be prepared bro, make sure you have everything you can on her, you don't want to take any chances with this.

Do any of you do drugs? Drink? Have parties?

They might not look at you being a single guy, living alone as being a good thing either. They may assume a younger guy, suddenly single is going to be having lots of people over. Make sure you don't appear to be really involved with work.

**Mizfit** · 05-30-2006, 06:39 AM

look here too
http://www.answers.com/topic/fathers...ment-in-the-uk

**Chemical King** · 05-30-2006, 06:41 AM

Originally Posted by Warrior

Keep building up your evidence portfolio... you need it all on paper and in tangible proof. You could throw a temporary restraining order at her - in the US, usually the first one to get a TRO issued gets the upperhand from the start... it's silly, but true...

i dont really have ground for a TRO. Im hoping that my approach in not slagging her off will give me the upper hand cos I know that is what she will do towards me and Ive done a lot of reading which is one thing she wouldnt of bothered to do ive also compared ofsted reports for schools and stuff so im as best equiped as possibly.

**Chemical King** · 05-30-2006, 06:48 AM

Thanks for that link Mizfit, its got loads of info that im looking for

**Mizfit** · 05-30-2006, 06:50 AM

Originally Posted by Chemical King

Thanks for that link Mizfit, its got loads of info that im looking for

I was looking yesterday too, but assumed you were in the USA - obviously different laws

**Chemical King** · 05-30-2006, 06:51 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

Be prepared bro, make sure you have everything you can on her, you don't want to take any chances with this.

Do any of you do drugs? Drink? Have parties?

They might not look at you being a single guy, living alone as being a good thing either. They may assume a younger guy, suddenly single is going to be having lots of people over. Make sure you don't appear to be really involved with work.

I used to do drugs quite often but so did she so I doubt that it would be in her interest to even mention drugs (although im still partial to the odd cycle now and then. And as far as going to court looking like a BB, i aint really that big yet and deliberetly so cos of the reasons stated before)

I should also mention that she lives 20 miles away so anything that i get up to wont be able to be proved

**Maetenloch** · 05-30-2006, 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by Chemical King

Iam in court this Thursday for access rights to my son as well as trying for full custody.

Do any of you know of any good sites that I can read up on that would maybe give me an idea of what to expect??

I hope you have an attorney advising you or even better appearing with you. This is one of those situations where $1000 spent upfront can head off decades and $$$$$ of heartache.

**Chemical King** · 05-30-2006, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by Maetenloch

I hope you have an attorney advising you or even better appearing with you. This is one of those situations where $1000 spent upfront can head off decades and $$$$$ of heartache.

I get legal aid as iam out of work right now. I also signed up to do volountary work part time so that at least im doing something and dont appear lazy unlike my ex who hasnt worked her whole life, nor have any of her family

i dont want my son growing up to think that it is acceptable to sit on his butt all his life and not make an honest living