is she cheatin?

[Rookie1974]

good move bro. as far as the comments made by this guy, i'd ask him why he'd think you would lie to him? i know the intention behind it could possibly be to break them up and get with her, but he should know enough that by lying like that it would kill your chances of ever getting her.

i'd just leave him with something along the lines of letting him know what she told you, what you guys had together, and tell him you're done with her but just wanted to let him know she was playing both of you. tell him if he chooses to believe you or not is up to him, but you just wanted to let him know and not just let her get away with it.

a good way you could catch her is maybe give her a call and record the call, like call on a cell, put it on speakerphone, and record the conversation with a mic on your comp or something along those lines. though from what you explained you seem to have already broken things off, you could just tell her that you just wanted to try to end things on a good note with her and just ask her if she's really divorced or not. if she admits she is still married, ask her why she lied. basically, record her lying and give it to him. he's obviously in denial and her saying all those negative things about you to him was merely to cover up him suspecting anything between the two of you.

too bad you broke things off before you could mess with her more. could've been fun!

good point I did'nt think about that. Ive never had to put up with this BS before.

I called the guy and I was getting the vibe that if I was blunt with him he was going to take it as I was provoking him, so I just left it at "your wife is telling me your divoriced/seperated and she is available"...The dumbass swears that she would'nt date me??? go figure.

So basically she came back crying and lying the whole nine yards.....I figure this shes either telling the truth (yea right) or wanting some more pain.
Ill just get some incriminating photos up on myspace and let him make his own call.

At this point I just dont give two shits about her anymore it's more of a game. She better not say a dam thing about me putting photos of "US" on Myspace h ah ha ha ha

[stee]

nope i have a gum doctor appointment and then a dentist appointment and back to the gum dude

Do you mean GUM Doctor as in the one you find at the GUM clinic?

[stee]

I got a funny feeling about this....doing things that she normaly does'nt do, like hanging with her sister all day....going to 3 dentist appointments (one 2 hours out of town) for a sore tooth and now not anwsering her phone.

would you
1. confront her
2. be patient and see what happens
3. drop her like a hot penny

you missed out the 4th and final option
Ask her if its ok for you to watch.

[STYLE74]

Thankx Katelette,
I had those instinctual feelings about my first gf (a long time ago) and found out she was cheating. I have not had them with any of my others since (I am 99.9% sure they were faithful), so I know it is'nt me.

Look rookie go with your gut feeling because your gut never lies...if you are feeling something in your gut that something is wrong it probably is...just wait be cool and eventually you will catch her doing something wrong and then kick her to the curb. Everytime i have a gut feeling that something was going on i was always right. THE GUT IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!!

[ascendant]

good point I did'nt think about that. Ive never had to put up with this BS before.

I called the guy and I was getting the vibe that if I was blunt with him he was going to take it as I was provoking him, so I just left it at "your wife is telling me your divoriced/seperated and she is available"...The dumbass swears that she would'nt date me??? go figure.

So basically she came back crying and lying the whole nine yards.....I figure this shes either telling the truth (yea right) or wanting some more pain.
Ill just get some incriminating photos up on myspace and let him make his own call.

At this point I just dont give two shits about her anymore it's more of a game. She better not say a dam thing about me putting photos of "US" on Myspace h ah ha ha ha

bro, i'm telling you, if you got a webcam or other kind of recorder, use it. leave the comp turned on and the cam to record and record the two of you getting it on. if you set it up right, you can get a great camera angle and she won't suspect a thing. if you don't have a webcam, simply buy one from best buy or some other local computer store, use it, then return it. simple as that. just make sure wherever you get it from has a return policy that will give you a full refund withing x amount of days.

after you make the video, and i do mean after so you have some ammo first, then here's a surefire way to see if she's lying or her husband/ex-husband is... simply tell her to call him on her cellphone and put it on speakerphone and have her ask him right in front of you why he's lying and saying they're still together. if she refuses, then 99.9% guaranteed she's lying. if she does it, then obviously he wouldn't lie to her and then you caught him in a lie. either way, one of them is lying here, but things aren't looking good for her. be easy about asking her for this, but just tell her with all that's been going on, you need some reassurance. though it may upset her, seems it would be the best option at this point for unquestionable confirmation of the truth on this matter for you.

if you really like this girl, get that video made up first, then do what i mentioned above. don't just toss the relationship and give him the satisfaction of chasing you away from what might actually be his ex that he's still trying to keep men away from.

[ascendant]

Look rookie go with your gut feeling because your gut never lies...if you are feeling something in your gut that something is wrong it probably is...just wait be cool and eventually you will catch her doing something wrong and then kick her to the curb. Everytime i have a gut feeling that something was going on i was always right. THE GUT IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!!

i know many people say "trust your gut", but it isn't always right despite what you think. i've seen buddies of mine kick other friends to the curb cause they suspected and i knew without a doubt there was nothing to be concerned about.

to give a great example of why you can't always trust your gut, let me tell you about a devastating experience a friend of mine went through. long story short, he had been with this one girl for about 3 years and was planning on proposing to her. well, he was real nervous cause he wanted it to be perfect and didn't want her to suspect what he was planning. so, she took this as him acting suspicious for a couple weeks as he tried to put things together. there were also phone calls being made to his phone for reservations and things he'd ordered and the like that he'd ignore while around her. so, she "trusted her gut" and took it as he was cheating on her.

well, literally the day before he was about to propose, she broke up with him. there is a lot more to the story, but just trying to give an example of why it's not always a good idea to just trust your gut, and keeping open communication can save you a lot of pain and trouble. just when suspicious things come up, you gotta look into it and make sure it's all still good.

if anything, don't trust your gut, trust your heart. if your heart tells you it's worth holding onto the relationship and waiting till you learn the truth, then do so. to be honest though, from what i've seen of you telling us about her, it doesn't seem as if you have a very strong connection with this girl or else there wouldn't be so many trust issues here.

[Rookie1974]

bro, i'm telling you, if you got a webcam or other kind of recorder, use it. leave the comp turned on and the cam to record and record the two of you getting it on. if you set it up right, you can get a great camera angle and she won't suspect a thing. if you don't have a webcam, simply buy one from best buy or some other local computer store, use it, then return it. simple as that. just make sure wherever you get it from has a return policy that will give you a full refund withing x amount of days.

after you make the video, and i do mean after so you have some ammo first, then here's a surefire way to see if she's lying or her husband/ex-husband is... simply tell her to call him on her cellphone and put it on speakerphone and have her ask him right in front of you why he's lying and saying they're still together. if she refuses, then 99.9% guaranteed she's lying. if she does it, then obviously he wouldn't lie to her and then you caught him in a lie. either way, one of them is lying here, but things aren't looking good for her. be easy about asking her for this, but just tell her with all that's been going on, you need some reassurance. though it may upset her, seems it would be the best option at this point for unquestionable confirmation of the truth on this matter for you.

if you really like this girl, get that video made up first, then do what i mentioned above. don't just toss the relationship and give him the satisfaction of chasing you away from what might actually be his ex that he's still trying to keep men away from.

I tried to get her to do this one with a bit of a twist.....When she first came back from Chicago I wanted her to talk to him and let me listen and she refused saying that he will say anything to ruin our relationship. My response was "Im sure he would, but he's not going to know the details such as the SOX tattoo (removeable) that she has on her arm ect..." She responded that he would probably know because its her M.O.

Man this s*** is getting deep. The sacary thing is he knew when she was gone two weeks ago, and when she was in chicago, what she did, and shes telling me he knows about the tat on her arm.....no way! Somthings up.

[Rookie1974]

i know many people say "trust your gut", but it isn't always right despite what you think. i've seen buddies of mine kick other friends to the curb cause they suspected and i knew without a doubt there was nothing to be concerned about.

to give a great example of why you can't always trust your gut, let me tell you about a devastating experience a friend of mine went through. long story short, he had been with this one girl for about 3 years and was planning on proposing to her. well, he was real nervous cause he wanted it to be perfect and didn't want her to suspect what he was planning. so, she took this as him acting suspicious for a couple weeks as he tried to put things together. there were also phone calls being made to his phone for reservations and things he'd ordered and the like that he'd ignore while around her. so, she "trusted her gut" and took it as he was cheating on her.

well, literally the day before he was about to propose, she broke up with him. there is a lot more to the story, but just trying to give an example of why it's not always a good idea to just trust your gut, and keeping open communication can save you a lot of pain and trouble. just when suspicious things come up, you gotta look into it and make sure it's all still good.

if anything, don't trust your gut, trust your heart. if your heart tells you it's worth holding onto the relationship and waiting till you learn the truth, then do so. to be honest though, from what i've seen of you telling us about her, it doesn't seem as if you have a very strong connection with this girl or else there wouldn't be so many trust issues here.

Ascendant, You are the man! This is so true, my gut is like a bell that tells me to kick the brain in gear.

The thing is if she was any of the other girls I've dated over the years, Id have not thought twice about dumping her or for that matter careing a whole lot (as long as she was putting out for me). The truth is, I started dating this girl cuz, she was the type of person I could see being a "life partner". we have similar value systems, ambitions, drives, the sex is great, and Im completely dum-founded when she gives me attention. Im 32, dating is not new, and I'v never liked somone soo much.

When this happend, It beat me up pretty good. She wants to work it out and Im kind of figuring: Ok, I cant walk away without knowing the truth. It would be one of those life regrets. We have gotten to the point that neither of us wants to beat this anymore...to keep asking questions WILL destroy the relationship.

as you say Im going to get illrefutable proof that she is dating/fooling around with me. Webcam, and whatever else I can think of......Ill wait and see what happens. I suspect if he is seeing her (she says she's going to Houston with her mom this weekend to see her sister, he says he's comming down to see her) he will put pics on My Space.

[STYLE74]

i know many people say "trust your gut", but it isn't always right despite what you think. i've seen buddies of mine kick other friends to the curb cause they suspected and i knew without a doubt there was nothing to be concerned about.

to give a great example of why you can't always trust your gut, let me tell you about a devastating experience a friend of mine went through. long story short, he had been with this one girl for about 3 years and was planning on proposing to her. well, he was real nervous cause he wanted it to be perfect and didn't want her to suspect what he was planning. so, she took this as him acting suspicious for a couple weeks as he tried to put things together. there were also phone calls being made to his phone for reservations and things he'd ordered and the like that he'd ignore while around her. so, she "trusted her gut" and took it as he was cheating on her.

well, literally the day before he was about to propose, she broke up with him. there is a lot more to the story, but just trying to give an example of why it's not always a good idea to just trust your gut, and keeping open communication can save you a lot of pain and trouble. just when suspicious things come up, you gotta look into it and make sure it's all still good.

if anything, don't trust your gut, trust your heart. if your heart tells you it's worth holding onto the relationship and waiting till you learn the truth, then do so. to be honest though, from what i've seen of you telling us about her, it doesn't seem as if you have a very strong connection with this girl or else there wouldn't be so many trust issues here.

I hear what you are saying but when you think about it her gut told her something was going on and it was...it wasn't wrong what was going on but she new something was up and she was right....

[ascendant]

I hear what you are saying but when you think about it her gut told her something was going on and it was...it wasn't wrong what was going on but she new something was up and she was right....

well, it wasn't her gut that told her something was going on, it was common sense. his behavior was off, so that was clear. what she used her "gut" feeling for was to come up with him cheating, which of course was the furthest thing from his mind.

i will admit, many times your gut feeling will be right, but i just had to disagree with your remark on it always being right. there are circumstances where it can be completely wrong. the point of my story was if you just follow your gut, sometimes it can ruin something that could've been great if you had just been more communicative rather than just assuming your gut was right.

[STYLE74]

well, it wasn't her gut that told her something was going on, it was common sense. his behavior was off, so that was clear. what she used her "gut" feeling for was to come up with him cheating, which of course was the furthest thing from his mind.

i will admit, many times your gut feeling will be right, but i just had to disagree with your remark on it always being right. there are circumstances where it can be completely wrong. the point of my story was if you just follow your gut, sometimes it can ruin something that could've been great if you had just been more communicative rather than just assuming your gut was right.

This is true!!!