Things A Real Man Should Never Do...

[Superhuman]

for instance...
wear his phone or keys or other items like that on his belt (you'll never get laid again...true story)...

I wear my phone on my belt and I get laid all the time!

call a girl his "b*tch"...

I only say it when we're gettin nasty

socks and sandals...

HELL NO!!! NOBODY SHOULD EVER DO THAT!

abandon his children...

That should never happen

the "thigh master"...

does abducter/adducter count?

turn away any woman who has any interest in watching football/baseball/basketball with you...

what if she looks like a farm animal??

[Superhuman]

I am at my 39th BDay party last week at this bar and I am doing Jello shots while wearing my pink polo with the collar popped. I have my cell phone and huge keyring on my belt which is weighing it down so my joe boxers are hanging out above my jeans. I order a Pina Colada with extra whipped cream with a fancy umbrella. After a few drinks I start talking like Austin powers and calling all the girls in the bar b*tches. I then start to cry and tell people about the lava lamp I got last year that I broke while I was cooking exclusively on my GF grill.

After the birthday party was over my friends had to carry my out and I threw up in their car and then crashed on their couch. the next day I went outside and took my shirt off but I did not want to sunburn my feet so I wore socks with my sandals.

I still think I am a sexy bitch, in fact I think that will be my new nickname.



~Old

haha that's great, you remind me of Dennis Leary

[Tren Bull]

I cried when my baby girl was born. Couldnt help it.

i almost cried when i found out my friends mom has cancer. i dont know why, but i just couldn't cry

[novastepp]

superhuman. add this to the list. 4 words; thigh abductor/adductor toner.

[chest6]

BAMF!

damn dane cook is a funny ass fvcker

[chest6]

whats wrong w a george foreman??

[Red Ketchup]

its a term for a guy who really cares about his physical appearance

Darn I thought the term for that was "Bodybuilder"!!!

Red

[Flagg]

A bloke should NEVER for NO REASON wear any kinda pink!!! Canary yellow is kinda pushing it as well.

Over here in England a LOT of guys wear pink tshirts! It's supposed to be a new fashion trend.

[Flagg]

A metrosexual is basically a heterosexual guy that has the characteristics of a fem homosexual guy.

I have a mate like that. We all call him Pride. And no, not after the fighting tournament.

[novastepp]

....never hit a woman.

[Superhuman]

...unless she is as big as nicole bass

[SVTMuscle*]

socks and sandals?! im wearing socks and sandals right now!

i wouldnt wear it outside of the house...but still i have cold feet!

[bor]

this is fine in bed

D@mn is is it jsut me or can Miz turn a person on in a second with little comments like this

[helium3]

Found this for you boys too

Things a Man Should Never Do After the Age of 30

1. Use the word party as a verb.

2. Shots.

3. Body shots.

4. Jell-O shots. Especially Jell-O shots.

5. Read a book with the words Zen and the Art of in the title.

6. Do impressions of Austin Powers characters, especially Dr. Evil.

7. Help friends move.

8. Ask friends to help you move.

9. Crash on a friend's floor or couch.

10. Refer to breasts as "chesticles."

11. Experiment with facial hair.

12. Let your underpants show above your jeans or below your shorts.

13. Apply paint to your face for any reason at all.

14. Own beer-drinking paraphernalia.

15. Own a skull bong.

16. Know the names of the current Real World cast.

17. Remove your shirt in public—unless there is sand and a large body of water nearby.

18. Use the word dude, except when referring to a ranch or a well-dressed Englishman.

19. Use the word dawg in a sentence when referring to a friend or, worse, yourself.

20. Own a futon.

21. Own a beanbag chair.

22. Hang art framelessly.

23. Hang tapestries.

24. Drink malternative beverages.

25. Don a puka-bead necklace.

26. Google ex-girlfriends.

27. Break up with a girlfriend by e-mail.

28. Engage in pranks involving airborne food.

29. Own a Lava lamp.

30. Pool hop.

31. Live with someone you don't sleep with.

32. Share a hotel room with someone you don't sleep with.

33. Play fantasy sports.

34. Divide a restaurant bill with a friend in any way other than 50-50.

35. Sleep past 10:30.

36. Refer to a woman's genitalia as her "nappy dugout."

37. Cook exclusively on a George Foreman grill.

38. Wear a jersey with the name of a professional athlete on the back.

39. Employ any other pickup line besides "Hi, my name is _____. What's yours?"

40. Listen to Pink Floyd.

41. Use Internet acronyms, especially ROFL and LOL.

42. Shave any part of your body except your face.

43. Enjoy Jerry Bruckheimer movies.

44. Run with the bulls in Pamplona.

45. Attend Mardi Gras, Carnaval, or Burning Man.

46. Own a fish tank.

47. Fall asleep in public.

48. Call drugs by their street names (e.g., junk, smack, or whitebag).

49. Pick a fistfight by thrusting out your neck, flexing, and screaming, "It's go time!"

gulity on these,but in my defense ive had the lava lamp years!

[nirish_mark20]

a real man should never use cutlery when barbeque-ing. he must pick the meat up with his hands and eat it the REAL way!

[Mogamedogz]

Ah, yes MAN LAW
Man Law: No man shall ever bump loud techno music while crusing around in his two seater sportscar.

^^^ HELL YES!!!!! Thats what im talking about!!! That is some gay ass shit!! You may as well start blowing guys if you do this.

[Mogamedogz]

33. Play fantasy sports.

I will NEVER give up fantasy sports!!! Even after I hit 30!!! No way!! You cant take them away from us!!

[Lexed]

here is 1 thing

[Mogamedogz]

here is 1 thing

Sport a Hitler Moustache?

[Lexed]

hilter moustache got to go

[Foskamink]

A man should never...

-Order a drink that comes with a mini umbrella

-"Pop" his collar

-Make up his own nickname

-Skip (in public)

-High five

-Drive a station wagon

i want a rs4 wagon . dammm

[1819]

real men should never sport the phone in the ear. never! it's f-in stupid. i just got back from a meeting and this tool was talking to thin air on his phone. there were also hot chicks around and i have a feeling there was no one on the othere line. he kept talking about big amounts of money and stock trades or somethin. he made sure the whole room could hear. i should have called his bluff but he looked stupid enough. oh he also had his sunglasses on even though he was indoors and the sun hasnt been out here in a week. real man? i think not. that's jersey for ya

[Mogamedogz]

real men should never sport the phone in the ear. never! it's f-in stupid. i just got back from a meeting and this tool was talking to thin air on his phone. there were also hot chicks around and i have a feeling there was no one on the othere line. he kept talking about big amounts of money and stock trades or somethin. he made sure the whole room could hear. i should have called his bluff but he looked stupid enough. oh he also had his sunglasses on even though he was indoors and the sun hasnt been out here in a week. real man? i think not. that's jersey for ya

I think he probably falls under the whole "Metrosexual" umbrella.

[pwerfll1]

real men should never have penis envy

[Stock]

"real men should never sport the phone in the ear. never!"

Maybe the only exception would be in the car while driving by yourself. I dont own one, but it would be handy. And no I would NEVER use one in public. I would rather you stamp "TOOL" on my head...

[Carlos_E]

"real men should never sport the phone in the ear. never!"

Maybe the only exception would be in the car while driving by yourself. I dont own one, but it would be handy. And no I would NEVER use one in public. I would rather you stamp "TOOL" on my head...

Everyone in NYC has a bluetooth ear piece. Where do you people live that you don't use them?

[1819]

Everyone in NYC has a bluetooth ear piece. Where do you people live that you don't use them?

lol. ny, nj, fla. maybe in the car but i just cant see how difficult it is to hold a phone!! you should have seen this clown yappin away. i almost cracked up in his face but didnt want to embarass him. he was doing a good enough job on his own.

[Carlos_E]

lol. ny, nj, fla. maybe in the car but i just cant see how difficult it is to hold a phone!! you should have seen this clown yappin away. i almost cracked up in his face but didnt want to embarass him. he was doing a good enough job on his own.

In the car, walking down the street. It's a pain in the ass to have a long phone conversation holding a phone to your ear. I don't get the problem.

Do you have one? Have you tried one? Once you have one it's so convenient it's hard to use the phone without it. The thing that annoys me are people who wear the ear piece when they're not on the phone. Like they're going to get a phone call at any moment. Take the thing off when you're done.

[1819]

In the car, walking down the street. It's a pain in the ass to have a long phone conversation holding a phone to your ear. I don't get the problem.

Do you have one? Have you tried one? Once you have one it's so convenient it's hard to use the phone without it. The thing that annoys me are people who wear the ear piece when they're not on the phone. Like they're going to get a phone call at any moment. Take the thing off when you're done.

carlos, im as old school as it gets. if i even remember to carry my cellphone i'd better hope i dont leave it somewhere. i never tried one and they probably are great but i think i'd feel like an idiot with that thing in my ear like dog the bounty hunter or somethin. i think he has one attached to his glasses. plus this is kinda a funny thread. i really dont care either way i just happened to witness that incedent this morning and thought it was funny.

[Carlos_E]

carlos, im as old school as it gets. if i even remember to carry my cellphone i'd better hope i dont leave it somewhere. i never tried one and they probably are great but i think i'd feel like an idiot with that thing in my ear like dog the bounty hunter or somethin. i think he has one attached to his glasses. plus this is kinda a funny thread. i really dont care either way i just happened to witness that incedent this morning and thought it was funny.

They're so common in NYC I never knew people had a problem with them.

[1819]

They're so common in NYC I never knew people had a problem with them.

you get flooded today?

[gixxerboy1]

*edit: oops didn't see shortie already went in to detail... oh well


it has more to do with the way you dress than how much you care about how you look.

metrosexual style is usually seen in big cities (why it is named "metro")
pretty much guys that get pedicure/manicures, facials. all that girly shit.

Yea all that girly shit like vagina's?So only gays care what they look like?

No your right flannels, wranglers and pocket knives that's a real man.

[Lucius Leftfoot]

A bloke should NEVER for NO REASON wear any kinda pink!!! Canary yellow is kinda pushing it as well.

Over here in England a LOT of guys wear pink tshirts! It's supposed to be a new fashion trend.

i wear pink...the chicks love it...and i'm all about the chicks.

[gigem]

a real man doesnt cry when his girl breaks up with him he just sucks it up and fvcks her best friend or sister lol or mom for that matter

[Carlos_E]

you get flooded today?

Naa, not where I live. Everything is fine.

[Pro_built7]

real men should never have penis envy

lol

[novastepp]

real men should never nark on another man.

[unclemoney]

haha, i just got the mental image of some guy tryin to open a package by shooting it with a .44

i suppose thats something a man would never do... at least, a smart man

but then again, i might try it just for the hell of it

A real man would open his package with explosives! (ie; C4)

[taiboxa]

a real man uses a hand gun as a tv remote.

[unclemoney]

a real man uses a hand gun as a tv remote.

A real man has 300tv's backordered to arrive each day!