Top 10 ways to harass a telemarketer

[ptbyjason]

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "Iím so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."

9. If they say theyíre John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I donít have any friends... would you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you are just about to file for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you donít want anyone
bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, howís your momma?"

And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down...

[Billy Boy]

LMFAO what more can I say ??

[JRMY2711]

J man thats some funny stuff lmao

[baby mac]

LMAO!! Im gonna have to try some of those next time. I always get them early in the morning when Im in bed.

[kizer_soce]

I just tell him I don't have a phone and hang up

[dumbells101]

I can't stand it! Finally saw a piece of equipment that will solve my telemarketer probs. You plug it into your phone line and it emits a tone that tells their computer that your number has been disconnected. SWEET HUH! Up until now I've just told them that I died. I also found a way to stop the credit card letters...I mail their application back to them in THEIR postage paid envelope telling them I am not interested!

[primodonna]

Originally posted by kizer_soce
I just tell him I don't have a phone and hang up

TFF!!!

[dane26]

note to self.....print and post next to phone

[EXCESS]

I like to let out a scream and tell the telemarketer that I just spilled hot coffee all over myself. Then I scream for somebody (in my house) to go get some salt to clean the blisters. Make sure the telemarketer hears you telling somebody to shake the salt on the wound and then let out another painful scream. "Omigod its bubbling!!!" usually gets a response. You win if the telemarketer starts offering advice.