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09-07-2006, 05:36 PM #1
Dad takes over, because son is an idiot!
My Son Is A Moron... He Did Not Come From My Loins...
Date: 2006-07-20, 1:39PM PDT
You do everything you can for your kids. God knows I've tried. But it seems like God enjoys a good joke, now and then.
I was raised in a strict household. My parents bore offspring from the early-50's to the mid-60's. I was around the middle of this brood. With nine mouths to feed, we did not have a lot of extras. We worked for simple things, like bicycles.
Nothing wrong with that. It's what we knew. And we were given a great foundation, on which we could create a life for ourselves. As I said, my parents were strict - which made me not wish to be such with my kids.
Ah, my kids... I'm in my forties, and the wife is a bit younger. I make a fine income, and try not to sweat anything. I get up... have coffee... look out at the ocean... read the paper... move onto my business.
I appreciate not having a house full of screaming kids in the morning (something that was impossible when I grew up). All I ask of my kids is to; a) be respectful of everyone, b) be honest c) get good grades, d) clean their rooms.
I do not ask for much, nor do I demand much. However... that is going to change tonight. Events that occurred this morning will bring about change like these kids have never known. The wife has kept me in the dark about some things as well.
It's my fault. I accept it. But I can reverse this downward trend - now. My generation (baby-boomers) has found that it is easier to go around a wall, than climb over over it - or knock it down. I'm as guilty as anyone.
My guilt turned into rage this morning. My son (and my wife) convinced me that he NEEDED a car (he's seventeen). I was not keen on a kid driving, that has trouble standing a surfboard, or walking down the stairs without tripping.
But I relented (again, why fight it). With some stipulations, we aquired a car for this child. The rules were put in place, and he proclaimed we were the greatest parents in the worls. Uh huh... It's 12:00pm, and he has yet to get out of bed. His mother has been instructed to tell my prodigy that he is GROUNDED. We have never done this, but we are today. And I mean GROUNDED in his room!
Not out by the pool. Not in the gameroom. His cluttered abode is where he better be when I get home tonight. And I'm going to be stopping for a drink, first. I deserve a drink after this morning. Let me tell you about my day.
I go out to my car in the driveway (I have a three-car garage - and "hers" is the only one that fits inside). My insanely over-priced piece of shit refuses to start today (3rd time in 2 months - the car is 6-monthss old). Okay... I call 'AAA'; it will 45-60 minutes. No time to wait. Okay... I'm going to take my kids' car.
I go in and retrieve the keys (everyone is till asleep @ 8am). I leave a note telling him to call me. His car is down the street at a friends house. Why? He claimed that our driveway was too crowded (and the other kids might scratch it).
Okay... I find his car... set off the alarm... Shit! People, one word; LOJACK. Goddamn, I hate those alarms.
Anyways I get in the car, after noticing the REALLY nice rims & tires on it. Hmmm, how did he pay for those? WHEN, did he get those? I get in, and notice a new STEERING WHEEL... without the AIRBAG - that I demanded he have. Oh, this car is totally bitchin' dude! It gets better...
I start it up... A huge racket comes from the exhaust (not stock anymore!)... And the stereo starts screaming out profanities! The backseat is now occupied by a huge box with speakers in it... and fast-food trash... and 'ziz-zag' papers... and empty 'trojan' wrappers (a chip off the 'ole block).
To say the least I am pissed. I proceed to drive this rattling, screaming (I tear the faceplate off - finally), piece of doo-doo down the road. I swear, I think I awakened everyone in the neighborhood. I head out onto PCH, and drive less than a mile... when MB's finest pulls me over...
WTF? I know I wasn't speeding. The officer comes up to the car, and asks for my license and insurance card... I hand over the license, and tell him I'm not sure where the insurance card is - 'it's my son's car'... "look in the glovebox" (he is - actually - smiling now)...
I open the glovebox... and a small BONG falls out... I look at him... he looks at me... This is not happening! Oh, but it is. The first thing I say is 'it's not mine!'... "um, sir, could you step out of the car, please"...
I get out, and we step onto the sidewalk. He tells me he stopped me for having an illegal exhaust (no shit - it sounds like two-dozen weedwhackers coming down the street). He also informs me that there are plenty more violations on this car... And I start laughing... He asks why am I laughing... And I tell him how my day is going.
"What about the water-pipe?" Indeed! I inform him that this is all a surprise to me, but I would like him to write up everything that is illegal about the vehicle. He looks at me like I'm crazy. But I want my kid to learn a lesson.
And the officer obliges me. He, even, finds some weed in the trunk... 17 tickets later, we are finished... almost... I ask him if I can keep all of the drug paraphenalia? "Why?" I want my kid to destroy it. I want this kid to know his "****-off" days are over.
The officer agrees. I could see he was wishing he could be there tonight, for the "lesson". He was pretty decent about the whole thing. This guy took, almost, a half-hour to go through all of this paperwork - and search. I thank him, and head out... He tells me if I get stopped again today, that I should show all the citations to the other officer - and I should not have any problems...
Problems?!! We have problems. I have lost control of my family. My wife is a co-conspirator. She has just been told that I want a listing of all of our household bills & accounts. 'Yes, dear - we are going to perform an audit'. She is protesting, but I do not care. This is war.
I know my family loves me, but they have played me for a fool. I may be a fool, but I am not dumb. She does not know that I just found out my son is in Summer school, because of bad grades. She doesn't know that DMV has provided me with her, and his, records; apparently they have a problem with obeying traffic laws.
It's not going to be easy, but something must be done. I swear, I feel like I have become my father... I want the best for my family, and feel something radical must happen. I can only hope they - truly - understand it is for our own good.
Some things that will be addressed tonight;
1) Son's vehicle is gone; oil up that chain on your bicycle.
2) All three kids will empty out the garage; sell it/ donate it/ whatever.
3) Mom will have a household budget.
4) Chores - that's right; everyone will have assigned chores.
5) Chores will be done, before anything else.
6) Homework will be done daily, before dinner. * Or, immediately after sports events, but always prior to 10pm.
7) Son's tickets will be paid with his allowance.
8) Son is grounded for the rest of the summer.
9) Son will study from 8am until 4pm - daily, durint the rest of summer vacation.
10) Videogames are banned from 10pm until 6pm - daily.
11) Everyone will be up by 8am - daily.
12) The youngest child is on a diet - now.
13) Mother will inform father of ALL infractions.
14) Dad will be home by 6pm - daily.
15) Everyone will eat dinner, together.
16) Mom will cook dinner - and it better not come out of the microwave.
17) The maid is being given four weeks notice. * That is going to be fun - I may not see a sexual interlude for awhile.
18) Dad is getting a new car, and parking it in his garage.
19) Son may get a USED car, when his grades are A's & B's, for two - consecutive - semesters.
20) Mom and son are to attend driving school.
21) Son will explain drug usage - completely, or face rehab & boarding school.
22) Mom will be weaned off of her "medications"; NOW.
23) Children will make their own lunches, for school; no more money for shitty school food.
24) NO soda. Maybe, when we dine out. Maybe, on the weekends.
25) NO MySpace accounts, or any other assinine accounts - a computer geek will check all of their computers - monthly (they need fear put into their lives).
26) Dad will attend all school functions.
27) Everyone will be present for all birthdays.
28) Children will wear clothes that Dad approves of.
29) Mom will dress daughter like a little girl; not a 'hoochie-mama'. * and - definitely - no "juicy" pants on her bottom!
30) Daughter will not have any underwear, except for briefs.
31) Sons will not be told to pull up their pants, or face having said pants donated.
32) NO 'Rap' music, within Dad's hearing range.
33) NO tattoos, until you are out of my house.
34) NO piercings (except for daughter's ears), until you are out of my house.
35) NO dyeing of hair, until you are out of my house.
Did I miss something?
I'm continuing to add to the list...
Tell me if I missed something...
Tell me if I'm wrong...
I've seen those "wife-swap" & "nanny" shows...
I hate to think that is my life...
Wish me luck...
I may be sleeping on the patio tonight...
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/184295834.html
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09-07-2006, 05:42 PM #2
That is probably the funniest thing I've read in a long time...
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09-07-2006, 05:51 PM #3
Some of those are kinna harsh. But damn..I guess its necessary. How did he pay for all that? Dealin weed? Uh oh!
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09-07-2006, 05:57 PM #4
I'm sure writing that long post calmed you down. Its always good stress/anger relief to put your thoughts down on paper.
Anyway regarding your son he really doesn't sound like a bad kid. Frankly it sounds like your going a bit overboard with the whole "put your foot down" thing.
Letting him know he screwed up and there are consequences for his action should be suffice (imo). Be firm and tell him that shit is not acceptable in your household.
Simply tell him he has two option:
1.) Wise up
or
2) Find the door
Honestly don't think all those rules are neccessary. They'll only bring more upheaval and rebellion from your son. Just tell him (be firm and bit fierce) his behavior is not going to fly for as long as he lives under your roof and if it happens again he'll really regret it.
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09-07-2006, 06:01 PM #5Originally Posted by usualsuspect
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09-07-2006, 06:12 PM #6
lol Looks like I'm the idiot now!
Originally Posted by Phreak101
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09-07-2006, 06:29 PM #7Banned
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Damn dude... sounds wild.... my mom cought me and my bro with weed and gave us a "Long talk" about it and how stupid we are... and come my dads birthday the house smells like weed bad... haha
dude i am glad to see that you took charge *my hero* keep it up bro
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09-07-2006, 07:14 PM #8
I would like to think that my family would never get that bad, i would be kicking asses all over the house long before that shit, not to mention i am not buying my kid (when i have one) a ****ing car, he can buy it himself, i will match what he puts in up to $2,000
As far as the weed goes, i would confiscate it and use it for myself but kick the shit out of him for
A. He did it behind my back
B. He did not share
Little ****er***No source checks!!!***
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09-07-2006, 10:48 PM #9Banned
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Update please
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09-07-2006, 11:51 PM #10Originally Posted by Beefyman
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09-08-2006, 12:29 PM #11Originally Posted by usualsuspect
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09-08-2006, 01:39 PM #12
I like how he is giving his wife rules. That would go over Most women would tell him to go eff himself.
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09-08-2006, 02:03 PM #13Originally Posted by usualsuspect
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09-08-2006, 02:05 PM #14Originally Posted by gixxerboy1
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09-08-2006, 02:12 PM #15
wow that's funny... i wish my parents bought me a new car!
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09-08-2006, 02:16 PM #16
If I was pulled over and ticketed like that, and the officer came across a weed pipe and zig zag wrappers in my sons car, I would go APE............SHIT!!!!! That little bastard would change his act fast or he'd be out of the damn house on his own. If he wants to **** it up for himself then go ahead, but your not bringing your shit in and burdening my family. It sounds like they all have it way too easy, and your the one out busting your ass making money.
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09-08-2006, 02:45 PM #17
wow, hitler is back lol
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09-08-2006, 02:47 PM #18Originally Posted by Phreak101
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09-08-2006, 04:12 PM #19Associate Member
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Originally Posted by usualsuspect
it will push the kid away
i think you should enforce these rules, he will thank you later in life
good luck, hope it works out
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09-08-2006, 08:30 PM #20
i think of that kid as very ungreatful, he should be severly repremanded just like his dad is doind. that dad is working hard for his family and all his fam can do is shyt on him,
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09-09-2006, 12:33 AM #21Originally Posted by gixxerboy1
The problem with this guy is he is not acting like a man, so does not get the respect due a man. And why is this dufus worried about being like his father? He obviously shows little respect for his own parents, so no wonder he gets none as a parent at home.
And all cars in my household are mine. End of discussion. Even if there ends up being an "extra", the kid is 100% aware that he is driving Dad's car, and it will return to my control and possession when it is returned, and there will be hell to pay if he messes up my ride.
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09-09-2006, 11:07 AM #22Originally Posted by vermin
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09-09-2006, 12:28 PM #23Originally Posted by vermin
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09-09-2006, 12:39 PM #24
Sing your song to your God STALIN, you poor eunuchs...
Last edited by vermin; 09-09-2006 at 01:14 PM.
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09-09-2006, 12:39 PM #25Originally Posted by vermin
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09-09-2006, 12:44 PM #26
yes u need to put ur foot down indeed i wouldnt except anything less then what ur asking for.i feel mutiny is afoot gl
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09-09-2006, 01:24 PM #27Originally Posted by johan
Your approach to what is ultimately the family results in a weakening of the family as the primary social structure and an eventual reorientation of individuals so that their primary relationship is with the state. A fundamental goal of Marxism.
I was raised by hippies, I know.
It required years of empirical experience that clearly refuted what I'd been bred to believe (a small part of which you are spouting), an inner ruthless adherence to the truth no matter how it seemed to contradict what I had previously believed to be true, a noteworthy intellect, and probably some luck to some 20 years later hold views that are nearly all 180 degrees from what I'd been raised to believe and personally held in my teens and early to mid 20s.
From my observance of others, I would asses that your odds of achieving the same are not good. It is far more common to resolutely refuse to accept empirical evidence contrary to one's beliefs.
Sorry.
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09-09-2006, 01:30 PM #28
ARE MEATHEADS REALLY THIS UNOBSERVANT??? You DO realize that Cfiler found that post on craigslist, right?
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09-09-2006, 01:34 PM #29Originally Posted by vermin
But I do know one thing and that is that I dont want a women that bow to my wishes. I dont want or need to be in charge in my home. I want a strong and intelligent woman not a dog that jumps when I tell them to....
Offcourse I belive that women and men are intellectual equals aswell so why should I treat them as inferior to myself? There is no empirical evidence to support women beeing less than males except in physical strenght.
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09-09-2006, 02:35 PM #30Originally Posted by Superhuman
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09-09-2006, 02:41 PM #31Originally Posted by johan
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09-09-2006, 02:53 PM #32Originally Posted by vermin
If she tried to boss me around or if I tried to boss her around the relationship would not exist because neither one of us would accept that. I detest beeing bossed around and I have no respect for people that let themself be told what to do(obviously not talking about regular work here, but yes if a CEO tried to boss me around in a ungratefull manner I would resign).
I could not possibly be in a relationship with a girl I dont respect and I would not have respect for a girl that allows me to be in charge over her.
But thats just how I work.
If you feel more satisfied beeing in charge at home I am not bashing it. What I am opposed to is your view that it is somehow the way its suposed to be.
I would appriciate if you dont call my view imature or narrow, if you asked around I would bet the majority of males feels the same way as me regardless of there age. I think its more narrowminded to claim there is one way the world is suposed to work and that everyone fits into that.
If every relationship needs a boss btw, whos to say it has to be the male? I know several cases where the female obivously has the stronger mind and sharper intellect.
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09-09-2006, 03:19 PM #33~ Vet~ I like Thai Girls
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Seems to me the father is as much to blame as the family and all the shit he listed is "closeing the gate after the horse has bolted" !!!
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09-09-2006, 03:59 PM #34
Well my girl did actually grow up in communism. And im not about to make if feel like that again.
If anything my girl probably bosses me around. I could care less. Its not about who is boss. We both respect each other and take care of each other when it comes down to it.
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09-09-2006, 04:28 PM #35Originally Posted by johan
A real leader - a mature adult - puts himself last. This is particularly so when dealing with something of so much greater importance than himself - namely the family. The female carries the "gold" of the species - the limiting factor of biological success- the egg. The rest actually falls from there, and there are actually quiet a many generations of successful humans to prove that structure is successful, while the "progressive" structure failed before it even began.
Yours is not a recipe for a relationship, it is one of anarchy, and I predict that a brutally honest appraisal of your relationship would reveal two selfish, self-absorbed individuals operating in parallel and failing to make a meaningful bond. And I mean bond in a real-world sense of creating a structure for successfully raising children, not some hippy progressive weekend tantric sex seminar way.
As to who and how many would agree, it does not matter. What is right is not a matter of a vote. Water is wet, and the sociobiological imperative is the sociobiological imperative. If that is not generally recognized, then it is a matter of something to despair of in our society, not to be proud of if you are in the majority.
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09-09-2006, 04:32 PM #36Originally Posted by Kale
A recipe for a lost generation, and potentially a lost society.
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09-09-2006, 04:59 PM #37Originally Posted by vermin
But remember that you said this is the right attitude to hold towards women
"We are not equal, and that is ultimately to your benefit"
You then went on to claim that if a female do not se it that way they have been ruined by society. That is a narrowminded attitude if anything, you are essentialy trying to make your argument into a absolue truth when claiming deviation from it is abnormal.
I would like you to make a watertight case on why you are by definition the superior part in any relationship.
Originally Posted by vermin
How can you with such certanity state that it is the natural order of humans? The recored history is far from the natural state of the human race and any modell on the family structure of prehistoric man is probably on very shaky ground.
In some spieces of monkies for instance a group of females are often the leaders and they appoint the male that mates with them. While in other spieces the males are indeed the person in charge.
Originally Posted by vermin
A situation without no one ontop isnt neccesarly a bad thing.
Are you saying that all relationships on equal terms are unhappy relationships?
Originally Posted by vermin
In what specific way is the male more fit to run the show? What properties do a man hold that a women is incapable of?
Make your case and back it up with published peer review material from reputable journals. You se I dont just take your word for it.
I dont buy any feminist propaganda about equality on all levels, but I do not buy any propaganda about male superiority either.
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09-09-2006, 05:10 PM #38
Johan, you put too much thought into this. I wouldnt even argue with someone who has his beliefs.
I'd hope if I treated my girlfriend the way he describes, she'd beat some sense into me with a lead pipe right before she left my ass out in the cold. Its twisted and disgusting.
Takes all types i guess..
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09-09-2006, 05:14 PM #39Originally Posted by Evil Predator
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09-09-2006, 05:21 PM #40Originally Posted by Evil Predator
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