I think my neighbor is going to commit suicide

**stayinstacked** · 09-11-2006, 12:43 PM

We live in an apartment unit, and my neighbor across the hall from us is starting to scare me lately. The guy is about 26 years old and he's a drill sergeant for the army. He has been to Iraq twice within the last few years. He is really softspoken and passive acting most of the time, you wouldnt think he'd be a drill sergeant. Anyways, we've hung out before a few times and he used to come over and visit every now and then. He's a decent guy, just quiet. Well, just over a year ago he met this girl on base and they started dating. They ended up getting engaged and he moved out and in a condo with her. For some reason or another, things didnt work out between them, so he moved back into the same vacant apartment unit across from us again. This guy isnt the same guy, I mean he doesnt even act human. I've tried to talk to him on several occasions but it's almost like having a conversation with myself. It's to the point where his facial expression never changes, sometimes you say hello and he doesnt respond, he's like a mute. I tried taking him out to a bar one night about a month ago and we were there for 10 minutes and he's like "take me home, I feel sick" in the car ride home I told him about his behavior I've observed and how he has me worried. I'm not exactly sure what this dudes background is, but I know his mother had skitzofrenia and killed herself, and he was raised by his Aunt and Uncle. I believe he may be getting schitzofrenia himself. Maybe paranoid schitzo. He's seeing a councelor about everything(he tells my wife things he wont tell me) but I know it's starting to effect his job performance and they're talking about demoting him or something. My wife even said it herself "He's a prime canditate for suicide" I really think the guy is going to off himself, I've never seen anybody act this depressed and out of character before. The problem is I've tried and tried to talk to the guy, to get him to laugh, to invite him over. He wants isolation, he doesnt want anything to do with people at all. And ya know, I dont want things in my life to come to a hault just because I feel bad for him and he's ****d in the head. I have a family of my own and my own life to take care of. I dont think there is much I can do, I've tried and tried, I cant even get the guy to speak when I see him, its very uncomfortable. I dont know if it's safe for my wife or daughter to be around him, I dont know enough about people like this. Anyways, thankx for reading

***Doc.Sust*** · 09-11-2006, 12:51 PM

at least he is seeing a councelor, i hope that helps him

**goodcents** · 09-11-2006, 01:22 PM

yeah, hate to say it but I would stay away from him, and what's your wife doing talking to him? He will get to liking your wife and then the shit will hit the fan. He needs to get laid (helped me when I wanted to pop myself, hard to go crazy when you are fuking

) the military has some good counseling programs

**TEST 1000** · 09-11-2006, 01:26 PM

You did what you can. Now you need to think of your family safety and stay clear from him.

**D3m3nt3d** · 09-11-2006, 01:28 PM

I went thru the same thing man, very scary. After my split, it felt like my life had been flipped upside down. For the first 2 months I seperated myself from society - only very few people I spoke with. They had me on anti-depressants, wanted me to go to counseling etc...and truth be told - my daughter was the only thing that kept me from doing something really stupid. I dont know about suicide, but it crossed my mind alot. If I would have, I would have taken my "friend" with me who is now with my ex.

So, I mean do what u can bro, but if he withdraws himself from you, theres not much you can do.

**PROTEINSHAKE** · 09-11-2006, 01:33 PM

I would be content with the fact that you tried to help him out & interact with him in a positive way..some people just get so brainwashed & arent strong enough to overcome it on their own.at this point I would DEFINITLEY stay clear of him & do what you must do to protect your wife & little girl.THAT is your life....Dont let a stranger(for all intents & purposes) ruin it.

**goodcents** · 09-11-2006, 01:38 PM

Yeah after my ex left and all the other shlt I went through, I was a ticking time bomb, I just no longer cared. Think about it from a pure animal stand point, if (like an animal) something hurt you, would you want to be around them. I felt shame and embarresment all the time. Banging alot of hot (and not so hot

) chics at the salon helped me. I feal depressed on good days (money wise) at the salon and store if that makes any sense? It's weird to see things running w/o you having to do anything, feels like some kind of machine that runs its self.

**MAXIMA5** · 09-11-2006, 02:23 PM

Do you think he's using rec drugs? Maybe his counselor has him on some anti depressants or anti-psychotics and it's affecting his personality while he adapts to it. Who knows. Sounds dangerous though.

It's cool you tried to be a good friend. You'd think that someone showing concern for him would have made him feel better. When I hit rock bottom hanging out with friends and getting out of the house always seems like it helps a lot. It's surprising he's passing on this opportunity.

Good luck with everything - be careful.

**Hard Head** · 09-11-2006, 02:55 PM

Tell your wife to stay away from him, the next thing you know he's obsessing over her and planning to off you.

**dedic8ed1** · 09-11-2006, 03:51 PM

You gotta let 'em know that nothing cures a broken heart like a piece of ass,so take'em out and hook him up with some strange pie and he'll be cool,but I'd defenitly keep a line between him and your family,Also being over in Iraq probably messed him up a little to.

**daem** · 09-11-2006, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by dedic8ed1

You gotta let 'em know that nothing cures a broken heart like a piece of ass,so take'em out and hook him up with some strange pie and he'll be cool

Sorry to say it, but that's probably the worst advice that he could take.

This guy is unstable, and the last thing he needs is more wildcards in a fragile, broken, and emotionally difficult time.

That is a very very temporary solution, but won't provide any long term benefit.

I'd say to support the guy if he seeks you out, but DON'T take a proactive approach again, like taking him out to a bar. Him seeking professional help is a step in the right direction, but don't think that you can help him get through this.

Make sure you communicate to your wife and daughter about his "problems" to prevent any interaction with him unless you are around.

Good luck

**stayinstacked** · 09-11-2006, 06:31 PM

I told her today I didnt want her talking to him unless he spoke first. I'm staying clear, if I see him I'll give him a hello but thats it.

**goodcents** · 09-11-2006, 06:37 PM

Originally Posted by stayinstacked

I told her today I didnt want her talking to him unless he spoke first. I'm staying clear, if I see him I'll give him a hello but thats it.

That's what I would do, that way he doesn't think of you or your wife. You see why I try to stay clear of people and their problems.

**mavsluva** · 09-11-2006, 06:58 PM

You may want to consider just straight up approaching him about what you see/feel. Do it in a way that states that you're only worried about him and nothing more. He may very well need a person like you to show some concern for him and if/when you do, he may be willing to spill his heart out to you. We've all had those low moments in our life where we feel as if no one cares for us. Sometimes all it takes is a simple jesture to turn a person's life around. Especially if it comes from a person that doesn't really know you, yet, has enough heart to show you that he/she cares.

You will never be accused of caring too much for anyone in this world.

Mavsluva

**MAXIMA5** · 09-12-2006, 06:24 AM

keep us posted

**stayinstacked** · 09-12-2006, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by mavsluva

You may want to consider just straight up approaching him about what you see/feel. Do it in a way that states that you're only worried about him and nothing more. He may very well need a person like you to show some concern for him and if/when you do, he may be willing to spill his heart out to you. We've all had those low moments in our life where we feel as if no one cares for us. Sometimes all it takes is a simple jesture to turn a person's life around. Especially if it comes from a person that doesn't really know you, yet, has enough heart to show you that he/she cares.

You will never be accused of caring too much for anyone in this world.

Mavsluva

Well, see I've already done that. When I took him home from the bar that night, I told him what I was observing. I was like "I know you went through a break up and all, and I know your depressed man, but look at all that you do have. You have a nice place, nice SUV, good job, and your def not an ugly guy, things will get better for you. If your ever down and need to talk come on over, we'll go chill somewhere or something." It didnt seem to help any, he was unresponsive to it all. This brother is at the point where somebody who isnt a trained counselor or psychiotrist probably isnt going to make much of an impact. I'm happy he's seeing somebody, because it shows that he's trying to get help and knows he has a problem, but I'm afraid my attempts to help him will result in anger and resentment. I look at it like this, i put it out there, I offered my company and help, it's up to him what he does with it. I think I'm just going to stay clear of it, if he does anything stupid it's not my fault, and I'd never fault myself for it either.

**mavsluva** · 09-12-2006, 08:59 AM

Originally Posted by stayinstacked

Well, see I've already done that. When I took him home from the bar that night, I told him what I was observing. I was like "I know you went through a break up and all, and I know your depressed man, but look at all that you do have. You have a nice place, nice SUV, good job, and your def not an ugly guy, things will get better for you. If your ever down and need to talk come on over, we'll go chill somewhere or something." It didnt seem to help any, he was unresponsive to it all. This brother is at the point where somebody who isnt a trained counselor or psychiotrist probably isnt going to make much of an impact. I'm happy he's seeing somebody, because it shows that he's trying to get help and knows he has a problem, but I'm afraid my attempts to help him will result in anger and resentment. I look at it like this, i put it out there, I offered my company and help, it's up to him what he does with it. I think I'm just going to stay clear of it, if he does anything stupid it's not my fault, and I'd never fault myself for it either.

Yeah man, sounds like you've done all that you can do up to this point. Which is a lot more than most people would have done. I'm sure he appreciates it more than he's willing to admit.

Mavsluva

**cfiler** · 09-12-2006, 09:40 AM

Best to stay out of his way, that way if he does kill himself (god forbid) that he doesn't injure you along the way.

**NightTrain** · 09-12-2006, 09:41 AM

stacked, sounds like ole dude maybe having some psyhic problems that are just a combination of all the shit he has been thru in the last couple of years. plus if the is a drill life sucks for him anyway. that is the one thing that uncle sam counldnt get me to do, fvck that. anyways bro, just be there to support him if he seeks you out other wise stay clear. i have seen my fair share of dudes slip into lala-land after a couple of back to back deployments, just to find out thier ole lady was banging the nieghbor..........