Am I dying?

[dan991]

OMG... I just let the nastiest fart in all of human history. It made my dog throw up (seriously.) My wife walked in the room 20 mintues later and started gagging. 30 minutes later, and the room is still eye watering. I opened all the windows and it's doing no good. The wife is yelling at me cause she thinks I keep farting, but I only farted once. Is it possible for a fart to linger for almost 40 minutes

[powerliftmike]

OMG... I just let the nastiest fart in all of human history. It made my dog throw up (seriously.) My wife walked in the room 20 mintues later and started gagging. 30 minutes later, and the room is still eye watering. I opened all the windows and it's doing no good. The wife is yelling at me cause she thinks I keep farting, but I only farted once. Is it possible for a fart to linger for almost 40 minutes

happens to me on dbol and var. dont like it one bit. sometimes i have to go to the other bathroom just to get some fresh air when on that crap. dont use much, stuff doesnt agree with my system.

[dan991]

happens to me on dbol and var. dont like it one bit. sometimes i have to go to the other bathroom just to get some fresh air when on that crap. dont use much, stuff doesnt agree with my system.

I'm not on anything though

[cfiler]

I'm not on anything though

I've never had it that bad before. Once in awhile if I'm sick it might be bad, but not linger around for that long.

[Mizfit]

maybe you got some kids who didnt get dropped off at the pool and they r clinging to your beach.

Translation - you got poop on ur draws

[mavsluva]

If you still wreak after you take a dump(s), then you might need to get cleaned out. I think it's called a colostomy. It's where they fill you FULL of water and then suck it all out with a machine. It'll clean out your large intestine and remove all excess "doodie" that's lining your insides. If you have problems with taking a dump on a regular basis, then you might want to look into an over the counter stool softner.

[Mizfit]

u could do an emina at home too

[cj1capp]

i sometimes let one go and my kids down on the lower level yell out dad did you just fart?

[chest6]

o damn that is bad. A 40 minute linger? I had one at work today then customers were like wtf is that smell? I was like I dunno I have allergies

[CoreyTampa09]

My farts are so rancid its becoming a problem...like where I almost gag. I mean everyone loves their own brand but im about to take myshit off the shelves. Ive been considering a colon something for some time now considering I shit maybe once every other day and am constantly bloated and puffy even with 40+ fiber,mega tums and occasional beano.

[godkilla]

i farted while sleeping in my bedroom and my gf at the time smelled it out in the livingroom while watching tv. also, one quiet morning i farted so loud it actually scared someone! they sorta jumped and looked around all scared, lol.

[perfectbeast2001]

Go get a colonic mate. Great for energy levels and helps you digest food better too.

[Timm1704]

i farted while sleeping in my bedroom and my gf at the time smelled it out in the livingroom while watching tv. also, one quiet morning i farted so loud it actually scared someone! they sorta jumped and looked around all scared, lol.

that is ferking hilarious dude

[LBT]

Yes.

Best put your asbestos undies on.

[Slick Arrado]

LMAO!! Doesn't some company make charcoal-lined underwear?

[dan991]

I dunno what I ate, but I can tell you this much, I've never farted like that in my entire life and I'm 29 years old.. LOL It wasn't a regular fart though. It was silent, but also one of those "warm" ones. I think I've redefined the whole "silent but deadly" saying. Today, I let another one loose at work in the lobby, and 10 minutes later people are just like WTF.. I just got back from a road trip to Georgia. The last thing I ate was some Chik-Fla and some Krystal's. I've never had either of them because we don't have them here in MI, but lemme tell ya... if that's what did this to me, I'm suing!

[godkilla]

that is ferking hilarious dude

its only funny cause it is true, lol.

[BigUno]

for some reason whenever i take nolvadex my farts reek for awhile and constantly taking a shit

[63190]

Get a colonic! Quick!
You've got to power flush that stuff out of your inards or you will rot from the inside out.

[CoreyTampa09]

Beast and 63190, what colonics do you reccomend...not like an exlax right? What should I be looking for in terms of price,ingredients and effectiveness?

[eyecandy_44]

Sounds like you are more than alive but something crawled up your ass and died

[THE_DOME]

i have been know to dropp it like its hot
one time i farted in the middle of nigth and it was so bad it woke my girl up and i had she couldnt get back to sleep becuase of the smell

[THE_DOME]

i love my own brand i go over to my buddies at work and drop one while there on the phone talking to people, i call it the cubicle bomb. They have to sit there and enjoy it becuase they cant get off the phoen call

[dan991]

i have been know to dropp it like its hot
one time i farted in the middle of nigth and it was so bad it woke my girl up and i had she couldnt get back to sleep becuase of the smell

Right... I hear that.. BUT....

I made my dog throw up because of it. Do you know how hard it is to disghust a dog? Your talking about an animal that licks itself. You know it's bad when you make the dog puke from a fart.

[THE_DOME]

yea man you got me beat i make people gag but a dog puking, dude you win thats incredible

[cfiler]

Somebody at work farted today, and it was horrible. Everyone was gagging, and the fat bastard was just laughing away. GRR!!!

[THE_DOME]

yea the best is when you drop one where its a door way with two sets of doors, you release it and its contains it forever and everybody has to walk through it

[LBT]

I like doing the "throwing your guff" trick. When you have really bad farts, go to a crowded place (music store is great for this) and choose a victim. Normally a single spotty teenager with his headphones on. Sneakily go up to them, pretending to look at CDs and when back-to-back (with hand on chin concentrating on the music on the shelves) let 'er rip. Stand there for a few seconds so the fart doesn't follow you (the smell, not the teenager!) and swiftly walk to the other side of the store and discreetly watch the fun.

I did this to the missus some weeks ago. Was well funny!

[paulzane]

Right... I hear that.. BUT....

I made my dog throw up because of it. Do you know how hard it is to disghust a dog? Your talking about an animal that licks itself. You know it's bad when you make the dog puke from a fart.

Don't forget that a dog's nose has something like 200 times the sensitivity of a human nose!! ............... Poor thing!

[Foskamink]

i been sad and depressed all day but this thread cheered me up a little hope i can find another thread to do the same

[NightTrain]

dude that is freaking hilarious..... i have ripped a few that have cleared out the maintenance bay. but i have never made my dog puke..... you rule..

[Flagg]

That must be putrid beyond belief if the dog starts retching! Funny stuff...maybe you need colonic irrigation?

[taiboxa]

omg CABBAGE!

[NightTrain]

Cabbage???????

[dan991]

LOL... I'm glad you guys find my internals rotting away amusing. I'm seriously starting to think that the food I ate gave me food poisoning because I'm on day 3 now and it still is awful. It hasn't been as bad as when I originally put this thread up, but it's still nastier than usual. I let one loose last night in the car and had to leave the windows open for a while to air out. I seriously am considering going to see a doctor at this point.

p.s. The dog is ok, but now she won't sit near me nor will she come to me when I call her name. I think she's weary now. Funny thing is, she's a 62 lb. Pit Bull. She just has this look in her eyes like she's scared of me.

[dan991]

That must be putrid beyond belief if the dog starts retching! Funny stuff...maybe you need colonic irrigation?

Yeah, i was thinking the same thing. Especially considering that my dog, as all others will walk up to a turd and sniff it if some other dog took a dump. That being said, my fart must be alot nastier than another dogs turd.

[dan991]

omg CABBAGE!

Actually, it had a rotten egg/sulfur type smell to it. It was also pretty dense because it lit up the whole room for about 45-50 minutes. My wife literally smacked me because she thought I was farting over and over again, but I really only farted once. She don't believe me though


Did I mention I was half considering later that night to give the wife a "Dutch Oven"

[paulzane]

Did I mention I was half considering later that night to give the wife a "Dutch Oven"

Then you would have died....... by your wife's hands!

[Mike Dura]

I've had nasty gas for years and you know what, I'm sure that stench was worse than yours. I'd bet on it. I've had chronic diarhea for years but over time the smell wasn't as bad. I haven't gotten the colonostrophy prescribed but I don't seem to be dieing and I've had this issue for years.

[Mike Dura]

I've had nasty gas for years and you know what, I'm sure that stench was worse than yours. I'd bet on it. I've had chronic diarhea for years but over time the smell wasn't as bad. I haven't gotten the colonostrophy prescribed but I don't seem to be dieing and I've had this issue for years.