Political Jokes, no opinions please..

[spywizard]

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed.

Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.


" What happened to you," asked Hillary? "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me."!


" My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary. The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow. "The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

[spywizard]

The Clinton's and the Gores are traveling aboard Air Force One. Bill Clinton looks out the window and says, "You know, I bet I could drop a $10,000 bill out the window and make one person very happy!" Al Gore comments, "Yes, but I could drop ten $1000 bills out the window, and make ten people very happy." Hillary Clinton says, "True, but I could drop one hundred $100 bills out the window, and make one hundred people very happy. Chelsea responds, "Big deal! I could drop all of you out the window, and make the whole country happy!"

[spywizard]

Hillary went into a pet shop and found a beautiful, colorful parrot. "Does this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he does," the manager told her. "But why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?" she asked. "Well, ma'am," the manager told her, "not everyone would want to own this parrot. He spent many years in a whorehouse, and his language is terrible."

"Well, I want him," she said. "Suit yourself," the manager shrugged. When she got the parrot back to the White House, she uncovered his cage and admired the colorful bird. The parrot tilted his head to one side, looked her straight in the eye, and said, "New house, new madam." Hillary laughed.

Soon Chelsea and a friend came in and began admiring the bird. "New house, new whores," the parrot observed. At first they were offended, but when Hilary explained about the bird's history, they too, laughed at him.

A few minutes later, the president entered the living quarters. The parrot looked up from his feeder and said, "Hi, Bill."

[HORSE~]

LMFAO @ the first one.............

[Slick Arrado]

Haha!! Those are pretty funny. I don't have any to tell though.

[*Narkissos*]

lmao...Nice.
Got any more?

[spywizard]

A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." -Jay Leno

[spywizard]

Good news from President Bush. At a press conference yesterday, he was upbeat, he was cheerful, he was optimistic. Yea that's right. He's drinking again. ... They say he's having a pretty good week and you got to give him credit because, earlier in the week, President Bush quietly sneaked into Iraq. Here's an idea: Why don't we quietly sneak out of Iraq?" --David Letterman

"I thought this was interesting if you look at it comparatively. President Bush sneaked quietly into Baghdad and nobody knew about it. ... Bill Clinton, on the other hand, sneaks into an intern and everybody knows about it." --David Letterman

"President Bush's Iraq trip was so top secret that before he left, he lied to his Cabinet members -- told them he was going to bed early so he could read. When the Secret Service heard this, they said, 'We've got to come up with a better story.'" --Conan O'Brien

[slob]

Hillary went into a pet shop and found a beautiful, colorful parrot. "Does this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he does," the manager told her. "But why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?" she asked. "Well, ma'am," the manager told her, "not everyone would want to own this parrot. He spent many years in a whorehouse, and his language is terrible."

"Well, I want him," she said. "Suit yourself," the manager shrugged. When she got the parrot back to the White House, she uncovered his cage and admired the colorful bird. The parrot tilted his head to one side, looked her straight in the eye, and said, "New house, new madam." Hillary laughed.

Soon Chelsea and a friend came in and began admiring the bird. "New house, new whores," the parrot observed. At first they were offended, but when Hilary explained about the bird's history, they too, laughed at him.

A few minutes later, the president entered the living quarters. The parrot looked up from his feeder and said, "Hi, Bill."

that cracked me up

[dan991]

I got one...


Bill and Hillary go to a public event for the grand opening of a sexual disfunction clinic. They are there to do a tour of the place then cut the grand opening ribbon.
During the tour, they see some guy in a room jerking off in a cup. Amazed that the guy is doing it, they ask the purpose and find out that every male patient needs to provide a semen sample upon acceptance to the clinic for treatment. As they keep walking, they see another guy getting a blowjob from this hot ass blonde nurse. Bill looks and asks what that guys deal is. The director of the clinic looks at him and says "yeah, that guys a new acceptance also." Bill looks at him and asks why he's getting a blow job while the other guy has to stroke it. The clinic director says "oh, well the guy getting a blow job has better health insurance." The other guy jerking off is on state aid.

[cfiler]

Keep them coming!

[spywizard]

I got one...


Bill and Hillary go to a public event for the grand opening of a sexual disfunction clinic. They are there to do a tour of the place then cut the grand opening ribbon.
During the tour, they see some guy in a room jerking off in a cup. Amazed that the guy is doing it, they ask the purpose and find out that every male patient needs to provide a semen sample upon acceptance to the clinic for treatment. As they keep walking, they see another guy getting a blowjob from this hot ass blonde nurse. Bill looks and asks what that guys deal is. The director of the clinic looks at him and says "yeah, that guys a new acceptance also." Bill looks at him and asks why he's getting a blow job while the other guy has to stroke it. The clinic director says "oh, well the guy getting a blow job has better health insurance." The other guy jerking off is on state aid.

bump, that is a good one.. thank God for good insurance...