Police Transcripts

**Mizfit** · 10-09-2006, 08:43 AM

The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car
videos around the country...

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that¹s the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And ... THE BEST ONE!

#1 "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't - Sign here."

***G-1000*** · 10-09-2006, 08:51 AM

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

**Superhuman** · 10-09-2006, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by gsxxr

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

i'm going to go with cat.... final answer!

***G-1000*** · 10-09-2006, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by Superhuman

i'm going to go with cat.... final answer!

That is ok Tai thinks he is a chinchilla.

**Foskamink** · 10-09-2006, 09:03 AM

ahahha thats funny nice find

**rar1015** · 10-09-2006, 09:18 AM

Good stuff!!!

**GUnit33** · 10-09-2006, 09:23 AM

hillarious stuff.

***Doc.Sust*** · 10-09-2006, 10:27 AM

wow that is great, some funny fckn cops out there!

**stuball** · 10-09-2006, 10:48 AM

Originally Posted by gsxxr

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

I actully had to think about that one !!!!

**cfiler** · 10-09-2006, 11:13 AM

I know a cop, and when ever someone says "I pay your sallary" he comes back with "Yes, and I thankyou for that. By the way, next year I'll be asking for a raise."

Always pisses off the jerks who bitch about getting a ticket for running a red light, or speeding. :O:

**cfiler** · 10-09-2006, 11:16 AM

He's a great guy though. If he catches someone speeding, and it's under 10kms oover the speed limit, he'll play "rock paper sisor" with them to deside if they will get a ticket.

He did that with one guy, and the driver lost. But the driver then asked if he could go double or nothing? The cop goes "what?" The driver answers that he wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and he'll try again... rock paper sissor for both the seatbelt ticket and the speeding ticket. (the cop didn't know about the no seatbelt)

So the cop goes along with it, and the driver wins. So the driver left with no ticket.

RA · 10-09-2006, 11:30 AM

#1 "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't - Sign here."

lmao, that IS the best one.

Ive seen girls get out of paying fines on their tax bill...hot ones

**zodiac666** · 10-09-2006, 11:46 AM

LMFAO, you gotta love a cop with a sense of humor

**BigUno** · 10-09-2006, 12:00 PM

would be funny if i heard a cop actually say something like that

**Altaballer38** · 10-10-2006, 06:30 PM

Thats pretty funny too bad all the good material is wasted on drunk drivers who are too smashed to laugh

**fLgAtOr** · 10-10-2006, 06:37 PM

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

That puts things in perspective.

**l2elapse** · 10-10-2006, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by cfiler

He's a great guy though. If he catches someone speeding, and it's under 10kms oover the speed limit, he'll play "rock paper sisor" with them to deside if they will get a ticket.

He did that with one guy, and the driver lost. But the driver then asked if he could go double or nothing? The cop goes "what?" The driver answers that he wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and he'll try again... rock paper sissor for both the seatbelt ticket and the speeding ticket. (the cop didn't know about the no seatbelt)

So the cop goes along with it, and the driver wins. So the driver left with no ticket.

haha dude thats awesome