creating my own hell through self destruction

[AnabolicAndre]

Tren your better than this man, I know that, you know that.

Man up, tom is a new day.

we're here for ya bro.

[DSM4Life]

yea thats for sure bro. haha, the majority of the girls ive been with have been either complete bitches, or even much much worse than that... like that bitch that tried to trick me into getting her pregnant so she could get child support money out of me



but i have faith that il eventually meet the perfect woman for me... and when that happens, il spoil her to all hell, and make her the happiest woman in the world

Yo Tren what the dealeo

We all know deep down inside you are a good guy. I see the kind words you say about women and the respect you have for them which is awesome. Most guys aren't like that. I am and i know this is just a phase but at the same time it sucks trying to get through. Just keep your head up man.

Anytime you need to talk , you can always holla

[I_AM_HE]

this always makes me feel better...

Man whats going on?just got my arse kicked
Hi, i started taking sustanon250 about 6 week ago. Ive never used it before. The other night i caught some guys breaking into my car, I thought now was my chance so i flexed up and went outside expecting the sustanon to take over. I ended up getting my arse kicked. What is going on? I thought steroids make you able to fight??
Reply With Quote

[Tren Bull]

Tren your better than this man, I know that, you know that.

Man up, tom is a new day.

we're here for ya bro.

i believe that a man has the obligation of looking out for his family. as far as im concerned, it wouldn't be the manly (or considerate for that matter) to hurt your family by killing yourself...

i refuse to do that to my family. i can control my actions, but i can not control the way i feel

[Tren Bull]

Yo Tren what the dealeo

We all know deep down inside you are a good guy. I see the kind words you say about women and the respect you have for them which is awesome. Most guys aren't like that. I am and i know this is just a phase but at the same time it sucks trying to get through. Just keep your head up man.

Anytime you need to talk , you can always holla

thanks bro, you're a good friend... hell damn near all of my bros here at AR are great people that im proud to call my friends. you know i got much love for all of you...

well, rake and juiceboxxx are punk ass little SH_TS, but the rest of you are cool

[UpstateTank]

*hug*

[audis4]

Tren we all go through low points in our life....you just have to know that things WILL get better and NOT to give up.

[Tren Bull]

*hug*

aww, thanks bro

[Tren Bull]

Tren we all go through low points in our life....you just have to know that things WILL get better and NOT to give up.

yea i know man, il be ok. i just need to make some more gains

[Tren Bull]

hey man, check out this smilie



haha, got me laughing

[audis4]

yea i know man, il be ok. i just need to make some more gains

I'm right there with ya man!!

[Tren Bull]

I'm right there with ya man!!

definately bro. both of us will eventually achieve king kong status

[audis4]

definately bro. both of us will eventually achieve king kong status

[Deluge1]

"Inner demon?"
You ever consider you might just be a normal dude who doesnt know how to cope with shit? So your gonna use an idea like that to make yourself feel better about your f**ked up situation rather than taking a cold hard look at some facts.
Dude the girl is not your problem. Im telling you straight up. Because a lot of people could be going through the same shit and not give 2 fVcks about it.

EVERYTHING your doing now is a way your trying to get your needs met. If you dont feel needed, wanted, appreciated and respected by certain people in your life you need to NOT hold that shit in. Dont try to man up and hide shit. Because by the time your thirty something youll feel something in your head pop and youll be lying on a cold sidewalk waiting to die. When you post a thread like this than people offer advice and you play it off like "15 lbs of oatmeal" is my therapy right now, that attitude will ONLY MAKE SHIT WORSE.

Its like you have this repression switch that gets hit the second you get honest with yourself and tell people your feeling fvcked up you play it off like doing the same shit you've been doing is gonna fix something its never fixed before.

If you got issues with people, if your doing cycles and think some chicks not noticing you because "YOUR NOT BIG ENOUGH", your living in a f**king cloud bro. And if thats what some girl your interested in uses as her criteria to date guys, you need to open your eyes and ask yourself why in the hell would you even be interested in someone like that to begin?

Because I know woman and realize thats not the reason shes not "noticing" you, or w/e you think shes doing thats not meeting your dreams/ideals/wishes.

Lifting is good. But it can be bad depending on what motivates you to do it. I use to workout to "impress" people. Than I got a 7 yr prison sentence when i was 20 and you talk about "inner demons". You talk about people not "noticing" you? You talk about your ex gf on the street f**king some dude?

Id be willing to bet that shit didnt even matter that she acted it out. Just you knowing chances are youd act that shit out 10 times a day in your head for the next however many months/years. The fact that your still thinking about this shit is prob what pisses you off the most. I've contemplated suicide, I was never someone who could cope with shit. I've been through depression, paranoia, withdrawls, beaten by you name it.

All I did was keep breathing. That became my motto. "FVCK THE WORLD AND JUST KEEP BREATHING". No f**cking way Im gonna let some chick or my family or my friends or the f/ker 3 cells down who just beat my face in get the best of me. No way are THEY gonna be the reason that I take MY LIFE.

I wasnt always like that. Crazy how I somehow thought inflicting pain on myself would teach me how to cope with pain. Cant say this is what your doing too but its usually the way shit goes. Your not as different as you prob think.

At some point the pain got so severe and suicide was the most tempting idea in my head. The only thing that stopped me is probaly the most important thing in the world. I always knew how to be honest with myself. Dont decieve yourself. Dont kick shit under the carpet and think things are fine. That shit will creep up and kill you one day.

If your truley feeling fvcked up and in real pain, the healing doesnt begin till AFTER you get off the meds and learn how to cope with shit. Use the pain to make you stronger. Dont let it break you. LIfe wont always be like this bro. And sometimes people will say "this is rock bottom, you can only go up from here". You know as much as I know thier trying to trick you into getting better.

It doesnt work that way. It CAN get A LOT worse. TRUST ME.
Im not sure if you have any kinda support system but thats prob why people are recommending therapists because to get to the point your at you either A) are a master of self-deception and are starting to see the affect of not facing your problems or B) have no support, no friends you can talk to, or no family who cares. But if your not talking to them because your a type A character thats not that you dont have support, thats you lying to yourself.

All and all I have to admit when I was in some serious fvcked up points in my life there was nothing like a complete stranger to talk to. Maybe a therapist, or some stranger whos been through shit and wants to help you through.. anyone.

You just need to realize **things change in loyalty to your beliefs**. Thats the way shit ALWAYS works. If you believe you cant get out of this slump you wont, if you believe you can you will. Notice I didnt say "think" I said "believe". You cant "think you believe" you either do or you dont.

So all I can really say is just start doing some different things. That use to help me A LOT. Switch shit up. Do something you usually dont do. Ask people if they want to go out and do shit. Become a leader, set things up, introduce people to people. NEVER tolerate anything thats not the BEST for you.

If people betray you tell them. I HAVE NO TIME FOR ASSHOLES LIKE YOU IN MY LIFE. Block them out, erase them. By setting boundaries you teach people how to treat you. And soon youll find yourself surrounded by good people like you, not the regular shit your use to.

Thats prob why you feel this way to begin. Because your surrounded by shitbags who are living in a cloud and your the only one with the balls to take a peak at shit and realize this AINT FOR YOU.

Dont plan anything major. Maybe pick up a phone and call a therapist, maybe not, just know a good one CAN change your life.
Just start doing small things your not use to. Step out your comfort zone. Break the monotony. Talk to chicks, talk to people, MAKE people notice you. The second they turn into flakes cut them off. **** the girl, you really dont care about her. WHy would you want a girl who doesnt want you anyway? You dont.

Ill tell you what your more obsessed with. Your obsessed with the situation. With the uncertainty. You see no logic or rational structure to things. More than wanting the girl you crave the structure or logic that will provide her to you. Because one thing Ive learned about life. I use to OBSESS over chicks. Once I logically learned a dependable way to get them, and stopped relying on chance or blind fate, I realized I didnt really care if I wasnt thier type.

Because its ME who got her, not luck, and ME who will get another girl when shes decides to leave (or me). Someone who might actually be my type, someone who will actually NOTICE me.

Just realize bro, your young. But your growing up, thats why your going through this pain. People are always growing up, always going through shit. Just the more you go through shit the more you realize SHIT DOESNT MEAN SHIT. Only what you think shit means.

The world is yours. And you know what. If you want to hang up and just say f**k it thats your option. BUT why not, if you have a case of the "fvck its" just say fvck it and go out into life tommorow and try your absolute hardest to make things better. Because I GUARANTEE no matter if shit goes your way or not, the fact alone that YOU GAVE IT YOUR ALL will put a smile on your face before you go to sleep EVERY night. Not that you got what you gave it your all for. How many times people want to buy a new car, or get a new gf and when the finally get it, it doesnt mean shit.

Thats because people are never chasing objects, its not the car that matters or the chick or the ideal body, its the FEELINGS that you think will proceed ownership of these items. And striving for those items is what creates those FEELINGS, actually acquiring them means a lot less then we think.

Learn how to generate those feelings just by doing some different shit, trying something new everyday. Take a day off the gym and go jump out an airplane, anything, whatever is your poison (just stay away from alcohol lol) And if you ever need advice or some "internet buddies", you got a lot on this website. I know it sounds gay, but we're real people. People like us actually live in your town, you just need to find us. Real dudes, not fake ass m/fkers. The right friends will pull you out of any ditch.

And goodluck bro. If your ever feeling fvcked up again dont think twice to shoot someone a message.

~BO

Bo, you're a prodigy man.

You ****ing inspire me.

[Mizfit]

oh its all good bro, i got 15 pounds of oatmeal and over 200 eggs... thats all the help i need for right now

Are you sure about that. You know lifting weights and having a goal for your bodsy is a feat in itself, but admitting that there are things going on inside you that you do not understand and are having trouble handling is really necessary in order to reach any kind of peace or happiness

[wascaptain5214]

good luck tren ......i got women probs too.....i'm not with the one i love, so i love the one i'm with......

[Kärnfysikern]

exactly bro, its all about taking a negative thing, and turning it into a positive thing... anger definately helps with lifting, and i make a point of using that to my advantage

Back during my dark years I had a motto. No sane man lives for bodybuilding, it takes pure hatred. And I truly hated everything and mostly myself. I was 100% focues because of the hatred. I somehow belived that if I got bigger and stronger I would feel better and untill then I would continue to hate.

But I could never vent out the hatred through the weights. Because no ammount of strenght or muscle can get rid of the underlying issues.

Just step back, look at yourself and your life and tell yourself this self loathing shit ends here and now. Start over and fresh. Screw that nasty hoe! There are plenty of girls in the world, but before even thinking about them get things sorted out with yourself. Even if you could get this mean scank you would not feel better, it would just be a temporary fix.

Throwing away all the negatives is hard work and takes a long time. But it can be done and when your done with it you will feel whole again.

Beeing depressed, selfloathing and hating is a hard to break habit. Start tomorrow by forcing yourself to think "damn this is a awsome ****ing day".

[Mizfit]

Another thing is you can't live your life for others or trying to impress others - you gotta find a life of your own and live it.. and not depend on others for your happiness.

I have been in a major rut more than once in my life.. yes i know what rock bottom looks like.. My best friend would kep saying.. suck it up sister.. and wanna know something.. she was soo right.. once i astopped putting my happiness in the hands of others, stopped trying to compete with an unforeseen forece, i was able to find happiness.

Asking for help of any kind does not show weakness, it shows your human and we all need help every once in a while.

[QuieTSToRM33]

I have a very large penis so there for..I never get real depressed if when life gets really bad I just look at my dick in the mirror then I feel better about my self ...

what is this garbage ??? .......... what the fvck was the point of this post ?

[DSM4Life]

I normally try to shoot down BO because i am bored and want to argue but he has me on this one, good post.

[Tren Bull]

Are you sure about that. You know lifting weights and having a goal for your bodsy is a feat in itself, but admitting that there are things going on inside you that you do not understand and are having trouble handling is really necessary in order to reach any kind of peace or happiness

well actually i think in time, everything will be fine. i admit, i have a tendency to dwell on things, but even that cant last forever

[Tren Bull]

what is this garbage ??? .......... what the fvck was the point of this post ?

no pun intended?