For those who are familair with my ex situation

**needmorestrength** · 11-15-2006, 11:46 PM

Basically do I have a right to get mad? We just got together monday night ( we live 1.5 hours away) and had the best chat in a while, and agree'd to try things again.. Well I had asked her last week to go to my Christmas part, she has to work nights that night and cant ( shes a nurse).... so tonight I find out that shes going with one of her guy friends to his Christmas party next Friday... she got all mad because I started ripping, and said its not a date, yes shes his date, but its not a date and that she made the plans about a month ago when we were clearly not together... So am I over reacting?? I calmed down, pretended I wasnt upset and hung up, then sat here trying to come down...

**needmorestrength** · 11-16-2006, 08:41 AM

bump

***perfectbeast2001*** · 11-16-2006, 08:43 AM

I would not like that. If my girl made arrangement to go out with a nother guy then got back with me she would have to unmake the arragements with him and take me.

**needmorestrength** · 11-16-2006, 08:49 AM

Originally Posted by perfectbeast2001

I would not like that. If my girl made arrangement to go out with a nother guy then got back with me she would have to unmake the arragements with him and take me.

Yea, part of me thinks shes testing me because one of the reasons we broke up was because I needed to work on my jelousy..... So I think im just going to take one of my girl friends to my christmas party

***G-1000*** · 11-16-2006, 09:08 AM

That has nothing to do with jealousy. She should not be dating other guys if she said she wonted to be with you. I would have a big problem with this. There at a x-mas party drinking and shit. There is nothing good that could come out of that.

**needmorestrength** · 11-16-2006, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by gsxxr

That has nothing to do with jealousy. She should not be dating other guys if she said she wonted to be with you. I would have a big problem with this. There at a x-mas party drinking and shit. There is nothing good that could come out of that.

Well she is uber religious, and so are all her friends, im not worried about anything happening.. But I am just pissed off

**mavsluva** · 11-16-2006, 09:23 AM

Keep your eye on the prize. If you really want things to work out between the two of you, then that means that you're going to have to be willing to swallow some of your pride.

***G-1000*** · 11-16-2006, 09:24 AM

Well if that is the case let it be. It's going to be easy that sf for sure. Make sure that night you go out or have something to keep you busy. Do like i would do and go over to the go-go bar.

I just don’t trust anyone and that would be my biggest problem. I’m sure if she had planes to be with someone els then she would never had went back to you.

***G-1000*** · 11-16-2006, 09:25 AM

Just keep im mind. She was your ex for a reson. There also also a lot of nice girls out there.

**needmorestrength** · 11-16-2006, 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by gsxxr

Well if that is the case let it be. It's going to be easy that sf for sure. Make sure that night you go out or have something to keep you busy. Do like i would do and go over to the go-go bar.

I just don’t trust anyone and that would be my biggest problem. I’m sure if she had planes to be with someone els then she would never had went back to you.

Thanx dude.. I am swallowing my pride and trying to keep calm. I know the guy, they've been friends for a LONG time and I dont mind them going, just pisses me off that she can go to his party but not mine.. Yea she was my ex, but the reason we broke up was about 70% of my doing :S.... And yea im definatly doin something like that next friday... lap dances on me boys hahah

**PROTEINSHAKE** · 11-16-2006, 09:35 AM

I would be upset also since she agreed to try again with you. Im sure she wouldnt like the ultimatum of you saying that she couldnt go with him to his party.If you really believe there is a REAL future for you & her I guess you gada suck it up a bit & deal, but at the same time, make you feelings known,but in a reasonable,respectful way. there is nothing worse than lying between couples.

**needmorestrength** · 11-16-2006, 09:40 AM

Originally Posted by getnjakked

I would be upset also since she agreed to try again with you. Im sure she wouldnt like the ultimatum of you saying that she couldnt go with him to his party.If you really believe there is a REAL future for you & her I guess you gada suck it up a bit & deal, but at the same time, make you feelings known,but in a reasonable,respectful way. there is nothing worse than lying between couples.

Thanks man.. I feel that if I say ANYTHING its taken as me being jelous.. So im going to just bite my tongue... Although I might take a "date" to mine, since I presumed she was coming and theres going to be an empty spot now lol so I need to fill it

**Timm1704** · 11-16-2006, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

Thanks man.. I feel that if I say ANYTHING its taken as me being jelous.. So im going to just bite my tongue... Although I might take a "date" to mine, since I presumed she was coming and theres going to be an empty spot now lol so I need to fill it

thats what id do mate. my concept is, when in a relationship, if the girl does something that makes me jealous, i think of all the things i do that would make her jealous that she probably doesnt know about, and that evens things up for me lol

**needmorestrength** · 11-16-2006, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by Timm1704

thats what id do mate. my concept is, when in a relationship, if the girl does something that makes me jealous, i think of all the things i do that would make her jealous that she probably doesnt know about, and that evens things up for me lol

lol so true... and I feel bad for her if she puts some pics up cuz I'll have some to throw up then... maybe I can make her psychotically jelous lol

***G-1000*** · 11-16-2006, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

Thanx dude.. I am swallowing my pride and trying to keep calm. I know the guy, they've been friends for a LONG time and I dont mind them going, just pisses me off that she can go to his party but not mine.. Yea she was my ex, but the reason we broke up was about 70% of my doing :S.... And yea im definatly doin something like that next friday... lap dances on me boys hahah

Find some girl at the go-go bar to go with you to your party. If not get an escort.

**Mizfit** · 11-16-2006, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by gsxxr

Just keep im mind. She was your ex for a reson. There also also a lot of nice girls out there.

That's my line

**Schmidty** · 11-16-2006, 10:20 AM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

Yea, part of me thinks shes testing me because one of the reasons we broke up was because I needed to work on my jelousy..... So I think im just going to take one of my girl friends to my christmas party

That is a good way to get back

**Bruce000** · 11-16-2006, 10:27 AM

Jealousy is an ugly thing

. I know where your coming from. The only advice i can give is work on your trust factor. As you said she is an honorable person and is just honoring a prior engagement, she sounds worth sucking it up and rolling with the punches. As soon as you get back together you guys must work on each others insecurities. Make each other feel secure in each other. Not easy but possible. My wife and i have decided not to play the jealousy game. But choose to be vulnerable and trust each other. I don't think taking a girl to your party is the answer. I don't think it is your girls intention to make you jealous!!!
My ex had me so jealous i punched holes in doors. It's a choice.
Good luck Bro. I hope this info helps a bit.

**Mizfit** · 11-16-2006, 10:42 AM

if u treat ur relationship like a game, it will end like one - someone or both of you is gonna lose.

You have a right tob e upset, but she did make the plans before you guys were back together.

**big L 17** · 11-16-2006, 10:55 AM

i would be mad to i am very jealous

**Vegas67** · 11-16-2006, 11:07 AM

Bro, the trick is to come off like you care and are not wild about her going with another guy without looking jealous.....jealousy is a huge turnoff to girls.

**Schmidty** · 11-16-2006, 11:11 AM

say hey listen you made the plans when we were broken up and now were not.So why dont you have her brakeit off with the other dude now so he has time to find someonr else to go with.Or you could kill the guy,thats what i would do anyway

**needmorestrength** · 11-16-2006, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by Schmidty

say hey listen you made the plans when we were broken up and now were not.So why dont you have her brakeit off with the other dude now so he has time to find someonr else to go with.Or you could kill the guy,thats what i would do anyway

Nah hes one of her best friends from church, really close with her family, she made the plans before so I dont care... Miz is right.. whatever, time to trust her

**needmorestrength** · 11-16-2006, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

if u treat ur relationship like a game, it will end like one - someone or both of you is gonna lose.

You have a right tob e upset, but she did make the plans before you guys were back together.

It just ticks me off thinking that she'll be with him lookin all pretty.. maybe I should marry an ugly girl LOL

**Schmidty** · 11-16-2006, 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

Nah hes one of her best friends from church, really close with her family, she made the plans before so I dont care... Miz is right.. whatever, time to trust her

You got balls man.I would flip but I guess Im just insecure

**needmorestrength** · 11-16-2006, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Schmidty

You got balls man.I would flip but I guess Im just insecure

I am mad, but sometimes you have to bite your tongue, cant fight about everything

***G-1000*** · 11-16-2006, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by big L 17

i would be mad to i am very jealous

We know.

You like you ladies right by your side at all times.

**spywizard** · 11-16-2006, 12:31 PM

i will throw my .02...........

women cannot be friends with other men, if they are with me... if they are with me, and we are "together" then we are together..

if she insists on going with this guy.. you need to ask a hottie to your party, and have her come pick you up.. i mean you need to introduce them, it's not a date..

***Doc.Sust*** · 11-16-2006, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

Well she is uber religious, and so are all her friends, im not worried about anything happening.. But I am just pissed off

oh man , i thought you were done with her!!! that religion topic will never stop it will always be an issue for her. kick her to the curb and tell her to have fun at the "merry fckn christmas"party! she is always causing you grief in some way, shape or form!!!

***Doc.Sust*** · 11-16-2006, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

I am mad, but sometimes you have to bite your tongue, cant fight about everything

never bite your tongue or hold back when you have a problem, you are walking on eggshelss because you are afraid if you speak up she will break up with you again. i have been there before. not a good scene. pick and choose you battles, but when you have a problem like this, never hold back,talking it out is important, bring every issue you have to the table, just do it in a way that it doesnt turn into a screaming match