Junior Member
ok nows a chance to bust out those stupid ass jokes that no one laughs at but you, come on guys here we go
...two pretzels were walking down the street, one was "A"ssaulted
BARUM CHA!
...two eggs, two toasts and a 6 strips of bacon walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "im sorry, we dont serve breakfest here."
come on i know theres some better ones out there...
Member
What do you call a blonde with pigtails, blow job with handles...
Guy walks into a bar...He said "ouch" HE HE :-D
Your ridding a horse, theres two wild horses deathily close to you, and at the speeds your going, if you fall, ull be hurt, all of a sudden you look up, and theres a Fire truck right infront of you...what do you do? "get your drunk ass off the marry go round" ....just heard that on tv lol
Giggity Giggity Giggty!
Those jokes were pretty bad, man. I say we ban him.
Last edited by StoneGRMI; 11-28-2006 at 08:40 PM.
Member
Yo at least mine wernt about pretzels taht were "a"ssaulted...come on now lol
Junior Member
hey hey thats a classic! i used that one one time when i was MCing a local punk show... killed! killed i say!
these were honorable mentions...
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating up and down in the ocean?
Bob.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs who fell in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
Member
What do you call a cow with no legs....
Ground Beef.
Senior Member
my all time favorite:
what do you call a fish with no eye?
FSHHHHHHHHHHH
Junior Member
LMAO heres a good one:
what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter it wont come to you anyways!
Anabolic Member
i love bad jokes
coz i ll laught at them
i guess im easily amused
Junior Member
Story of my life!Originally Posted by stunner5000pt
oh man i got some pretty raunchy jokes but if i bust them out its guaranteed to offend...
how come jesus could walk on water?
shit floats
Junior Member
oh wow thats brutal but a new one in my books lmao!
Banned
none of the jokes youve written have been corny like the thread said to list...
Junior Member
good point, anyways back on topic! anyone out there??? boarder i had a good laugh, im not going to lie but to many peopel are going to get pissed off with jokes like that bro
Junior Member
my buddy tells this one every time were drunk...
A man walks into a bar to have a quick drink. As he is ordering his first beer, he hears someone say "I like your shirt." He looks around, but cant figure out where the voice came from. As he later pays for the drink, he again hears the same voice say, "I like your tie." Again he cant figure out where the voice came from, so he decides to ask the bartender. The bartender tells him, "Don't worry, it was the peanuts, they’re complimentary."
Associate Member
What's the difference between a golf ball and a woman's G-spot?
A guy will go looking for a golf ball.
Junior Member
what happened to the frog that was stuck in the middle of the road?
he got toad away.
hehe:-)
Member
The bar joke is hillarious, as is the Gspot, but nick, u droped the ball on the frog joke lol
Female Member
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who is laying at your front door?
Matt
What was the one-legged woman's name?
Eileen
Where did she work?
I-Hop
What do you call a deer with one eye?
I have no idear.
What do you call a deer with one eye and no legs?
I STILL have no idear.
OK those were bad. Sorry
Female Member
Hmmm. just for the record... I'm black... and I don't think that was necessary.
Anabolic Member
why should you never shag a dyslexic dwarf ??
cos its not big and its not clever.
lol
Member
What do you call a man with a spade oh his head??
Doug
What do you call a man rolled up in a rug on fire??
Jay
Member
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs??
A Wonkey Donkey
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and 1 eye??
A Winky Wonkey Donkey
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and 1 eye that smells real bad??
A Stinky Winky Wonkey Donkey
Need I go on??
Associate Member
NOOoo you've done enough!What do you call a donkey with 3 legs??
A Wonkey Donkey
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and 1 eye??
A Winky Wonkey Donkey
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and 1 eye that smells real bad??
A Stinky Winky Wonkey Donkey
Need I go on??
Member
and so the jokes begin to spiral downhill...
Female Member
What is a pirates favorite place to eat?
Arrrrrrrby's.
Why did the Pirate say when the bartender asked him why he had a steering wheel on his crotch?
Arr it's driving me nuts!
Anabolic Member
what do you call a blind dinosaur???
an Idontthinkhesaurus.
where do cows go on friday nights?
to the mooooooooooovies
why did the cucumber blush?
because he saw the salad dressing.
Female Member
I know it wasn't a joke. .. which is why it wasn't necessary. This thread was started for jokes. So why are you quoting a racist right after you tell us you arent racist? Why was that comment posted at all? I don't have a problem with the jokes. They're harmless. But I just don't understand why you would post that.
Anabolic Member
what do u call a lesbian dinosaur ?
Licka-lota-puss
Female Member
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?
Wanna go ride bikes?
Anabolic Member
I have a cool Huffy, lets go!Wanna go ride bikes?
Member
Okay, Okay ...
How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique (you sneak) up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit. Tame way. Unique up on it!
What do you do with 365 used condoms? Make them into a tire and call it a 'GoodYear'.
"king of free stuff" / Retired
How does Bob Marley like his Donuts?
Wi' Jammin'
Senior Member
I'm offended by that, no need to post things like that.
Anabolic Member
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
Cuatro Sinko
Banned
Associate Member
Sorry to have to do this to you guys, vut i've got some really corny ones.
What bus drove thousands of miles and discovered America?
ColomBUS
Why does Dracula drink blood?
Because root beer makes him burp
Why didn't the pony sing in the opera?
Becase he was a little hoarse.
Female Member
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs??
A Wonkey Donkey
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and 1 eye??
A Winky Wonkey Donkey
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and 1 eye that smells real bad??
A Stinky Winky Wonkey Donkey
Need I go on??
lmao
Anabolic Member
this jokes are soo stooopid
theyre made for people like me
YES!!!!
Anabolic Member
i got one
a guy, Jack is about to marry this girl, AMy. theyre in their 30s
the girl's sister, Nina, is 19 years old and she's always giving Jack 'extra' speical treatment.. extra cleavage, bending over in from of his, showing him her underwear etc etc
one day jack is sitting at hom when Nina comes to the door and asks for Amy. Jack says taht Nina's not here but that Amy can wait in th mean time. While Amy and him are talking on teh couch she starts telling him taht she had a secret crush on him and she realy wnats to bang him. She says that she's going upstiars and says that she wants him to join her. She throws a panties from upstiars too.
Jack walks to the front door and opens it and find's the girl's father. The father hugs Jack and says "you passed the test, now we know you'll be faithful to Amy when you marry her."
Moral of the story: always keep the condoms in the car
was that corny?? i dunno
remember... im stoopid
Member
these jokes are so perfect right now
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