Too much turkey? ...
I have a Golden retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had
a dog. On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled
with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she
asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had
been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the
street licking myself and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to
have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the
door.
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