View Poll Results: How many have you actually done

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  • None of them

    2 18.18%
  • A few of them

    5 45.45%
  • Quite a few of them

    3 27.27%
  • Almost all of them

    0 0%
  • All of them

    1 9.09%
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Thread: How many of these sexual acts have you actually done

  1. #1
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    How many of these sexual acts have you actually done

    I didnt compile this list I just found it on the net. I want to know if these acts actually exist, I mean do people actually do this stuff, or are they just made up and I want to use the lounge visitors as contributors to my survey, who here has done any of these and/or what kind of response did you get when you mentioned it to your wife/gf? Some of them are a tad extreme others a simply hilarious. If you dont want to post an answer to anything specific just do the poll.

    Here is a fairly extensive compilation of some of the

    extraordinary sexual activities that can be performed by men:

    1. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed

    to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)

    2. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep

    and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

    3. Western Grip- When jerking off, turn your hand around, so

    that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.

    4. The Blumpkin- You need to find a real tramp to do this

    right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

    5. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments

    before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the

    back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly,

    the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

    6. Golden Shower - Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)

    7. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the

    neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

    8. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty

    wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However,

    you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must

    gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

    9. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you

    oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek.

    It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.

    10. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.

    11. Fishhook - A variation of the shocker in which you pull

    back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

    12. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you

    start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The

    force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

    13. Bismarck- This is another one involving oral sex. Right before

    you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.

    14. Jelly Dougnut: A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to

    do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.

    15. The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls,

    tap the head of your cock on her forehead.

    16. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you

    attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it

    can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

    17. Tossing Salad - Another prison act where one person is

    forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are

    available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.

    18. Rim Job: Another name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use

    of the tongue.

    19. The Bucking Bronco- An all time classic. You start by going
    doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

    20. Pink glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough.
    When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

    21. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having
    her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure

    as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all

    over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed).

    22. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that

    when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails.

    23. The Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while

    laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez.

    24. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her

    ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed

    winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.

    25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick lapping away and

    discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you

    stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry

    smothers your face.

    26. Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who

    has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.

    27. The ChiliDog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then

    proceed to titty **** her.

    28. Gaylord Perry: Going to only one knuckle during an anal

    probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple

    knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either

    on one finger or on multiple).

    29. Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chic from

    behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to

    anythingwhen she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside

    so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

    30. Glass Bottom Boat: Putting saran wrap over your partners

    face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there.

    31. Ray-Bans: Put your testicles over her eye sockets while

    getting head.

    (Picture it: ass on forhead) It may be anatomically impossible,

    but it is definitely worth a try.

    32. Snowmobile: Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's

    on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

    33. Dutch Oven: Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in

    the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well.

  2. #2
    ok shamefully ive done 3 only.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by beuleux

    31. Ray-Bans: Put your testicles over her eye sockets while

    getting head.
    thats what im going to do before i die!

  4. #4
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    I have done just about all of them but the shit ones.

  5. #5
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    daym, thats some crazy shit

  6. #6
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    dam some of that sh*t is sick ive done a couple but some of its abit much for me and i thought i was a dirty fu*ker

  7. #7
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    i've done almost all of them, except for the shit ones like gssxr said and the violent ones - we may slap eachother a little bit but i would never punch a girl in the face or knock her out!

  8. #8
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    Only done 12 of 'em so far.

  9. #9
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    I've had to do the coyote about three times now...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    Only done 12 of 'em so far.

    Nark is taking notes and makeing planes.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gsxxr
    Nark is taking notes and makeing planes.
    lol...

    Some of that shit i'm never gonna try lol... the shitting stuff is definately out!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    lol...

    Some of that shit i'm never gonna try lol... the shitting stuff is definately out!

    Ths it only out because of the smell????? I think there would be more scat play if it did not stink. Also most guys wont to belive that there girl dont shit or if they do it's roses.


    But sports are all good in my book.

    Wow i am so fvck up.

  13. #13
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    Only 4. Some of those are pretty f*cking sick. Who would poo on their lover? That's pretty sick.

  14. #14
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    Bro you forgot a the best one
    Spidaman While ramming from the back, just before you blow your load, pull out and nut in your hand. As soon as you finish that tap her on the shoulder and when she turns and looks, Sling the cum at her face and yell
    "Go Web Go"
    Last edited by bbplaya21; 01-01-2007 at 11:31 PM. Reason: $19.99 fvck

  15. #15
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    wow some of those things are just scary

  16. #16
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    That's stuff for beginners . . .

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tock
    That's stuff for beginners . . .

    That list is crazy!!! What can you add to the list?

  18. #18
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    Why would you want to do those to anyone?

  19. #19
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    Yo anyone ever snakeskinned a girl???
    Thats when you wear a condom, bang a girl until you bust, then when your snake goes limp pull out and leave the condom (the skin) inside of her.

  20. #20
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    and i dont think i'd be able to be with a girl who would let me take a dump on her. Just plain nasty. Speaking of which, has anyone seen 40 Year old virgin? and if so describe what a rusty trombone is or a cincinatti bowtie.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by bbplaya21
    Bro you forgot a the best one
    Spidaman While ramming from the back, just before you blow your load, pull out and nut in your hand. As soon as you finish that tap her on the shoulder and when he turns and looks, Sling the cum at her face and yell
    "Go Web Go"

    LMAO!

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by iidea
    and i dont think i'd be able to be with a girl who would let me take a dump on her. Just plain nasty. Speaking of which, has anyone seen 40 Year old virgin? and if so describe what a rusty trombone is or a cincinatti bowtie.
    Slizzut used to be talking about that on the board all the time lol

    That was the catch phrase in 2004... then the dirty sanchez took over.

    I was trying to explain is but couldn't well enough.. so i hit up wikipedia

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rusty_trombone

  23. #23
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    woody woodpecker is my fav
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  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by iidea
    or a cincinatti bowtie.
    When i checked it out i got a shitload of different definitions:


    1.cincinatti bow-tie
    From the movie The Forty Year-Old Virgin.

    This is the official definition from the director/co-writer, Judd Apatow.

    You shit on someone's chest (or someone shits on yours) and you smush it all around with your ass cheeks, leaving a bow-tie shaped shit-smear
    Having run out of disgusting, non-erotic things to do, I decided to give her a cincinatti bow-tie. It didn't really turn me on, and I'm pretty sure she hated it, but it did sort of look like a bow-tie... so that was neat.


    2.cincinatti bow-tie

    A sex act wherein a male sits upon a woman's face so that his asshole is planted on her nose and his testicles rest firmly on her chin. The male then masturbates, climaxes and subsequently ejaculates on the woman's neck, while moving his penis from side-to-side to draw a white bow-tie.

    In the American version of the Cincinatti Bow-tie, you move the penis from right-to-left. The European version is done with a left-to-right motion.
    Last night I gave someone a Cincinatti Bow-tie, and she was still wearing it this morning.


    ------------------------------------

    I think both definitions are wrong though.

    i think the cincinatti bowtie is a reverse titty ****...so your balls rest under her chin like a bowtie.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    Slizzut used to be talking about that on the board all the time lol

    That was the catch phrase in 2004... then the dirty sanchez took over.

    I was trying to explain is but couldn't well enough.. so i hit up wikipedia

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rusty_trombone
    LMFAO i cannot even believe wikipedia has the definition of it. its amazing what you can learn reading it.

    Quote Originally Posted by spywizard
    woody woodpecker is my fav
    I like that one too.

  26. #26
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    Go web go!!!!! i gotta try that one lol

  27. #27
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    I think sandbag is pretty funny and bad...goes something like this

    Sandbag - You're having sex with a girl on a beach whos very intoxicated, so intoxicated she can barely remeber her face. In the middle of the act you take off the condom bust inside of her and then procede to grab a handful of sand and throw it in her face so she's blinded. You run away laughing as the future father and her never knowing who you were.

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