Dating Help...

**Terinox** · 01-06-2007, 07:49 PM

So i've been out of the dating game a long long time. Will hopefully be going on one soon, and need some nice advice. It's not some girl I just wanna "bang" or "score" with, and I'm not a player, looking for real solid stuff here. I'm so used to the old cliche of where to go on first dates, what to bring on first dates, and what to talk about, but I need more real life advice from all you guys who do this a thousand times more than I.

Places to go, things to do, gifts to bring (on first date, other than typical flower/chocolate), conversation topics, etc...

Keep in mind I'm a very shy/nervous guy in the beginning, so any extra advice on that would be great too.

Thnx a bunch,
T.

(really need help on this one, yes, i've read a ton of shit on the internet already, but it's again, all the same, and all so cliche, and I already know all that crappy "dating advice" you can find on the net)

**StoneGRMI** · 01-06-2007, 07:55 PM

I don't know anyone that gives flowers or candy on a first date anymore. Maybe it's just my age bracket that doesn't (23).

**Testsubject** · 01-06-2007, 08:03 PM

take her out for drinks or something to eat, take her somewhere were you guys can talk and get to know each other, drinks are good, it loosens things up a bit. You dont want to take her to a movie or something like that bc you wont even get to talk and find out shit about each other and thats pretty pointless, especially if thats what ur going for. Dont think about what to talk about so much just go on the date and let things flow. Make her laugh bro, thats the key. And dont bring her anything on the first date, thats not a good image to put on. Try not to talk to much about yourself either, ask her lots of question about her self, u gotta own the conversation as well, dont let her control it, gotta let her know your confident, they love that.

**spywizard** · 01-06-2007, 08:05 PM

Originally Posted by Terinox

So i've been out of the dating game a long long time. Will hopefully be going on one soon, and need some nice advice. It's not some girl I just wanna "bang" or "score" with, and I'm not a player, looking for real solid stuff here. I'm so used to the old cliche of where to go on first dates, what to bring on first dates, and what to talk about, but I need more real life advice from all you guys who do this a thousand times more than I.

Places to go, things to do, gifts to bring (on first date, other than typical flower/chocolate), conversation topics, etc...

Keep in mind I'm a very shy/nervous guy in the beginning, so any extra advice on that would be great too.

Thnx a bunch,
T.

(really need help on this one, yes, i've read a ton of shit on the internet already, but it's again, all the same, and all so cliche, and I already know all that crappy "dating advice" you can find on the net)

wow, when i saw you posting i knew i had to get in here and post...

I was shy, with women, let them lead the conversation.. they are just like everyone else, ask them open ended questions, get to know them, be a friend...

if she's a ho, she will move on you like white on rice, if she is a good girl, a hug on the 1st date, a kiss on the 3rd... the 3rd is not the money date, unless you are a player.. which you said you were not..

so good luck, and be you..

**Jason865** · 01-06-2007, 08:07 PM

Originally Posted by Terinox

Keep in mind I'm a very shy/nervous guy in the beginning, so any extra advice on that would be great too.

Then take her some place where you don't have to talk the entire time. Like a play, a concert, an art museum, Amusement park...ect, anything where something is going on around you so you can both chill and enjoyy.

**tinyguy2** · 01-06-2007, 08:08 PM

just whip out. it works

**StoneGRMI** · 01-06-2007, 08:33 PM

Just came across this: http://msn.match.com/msn/article.asp...uid=6&GT1=8953

**king6** · 01-06-2007, 08:50 PM

Two words........Chucky Cheese.

**StoneGRMI** · 01-06-2007, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by king6

Two words........Chucky Cheese.

Back in high school my buddy's fake ID name was Chuck E. Cheese. Mine was Charles N. Charge. I still can't believe nobody asked any questions...

**Terinox** · 01-06-2007, 09:06 PM

Originally Posted by Testsubject

take her out for drinks or something to eat, take her somewhere were you guys can talk and get to know each other, drinks are good, it loosens things up a bit. You dont want to take her to a movie or something like that bc you wont even get to talk and find out shit about each other and thats pretty pointless, especially if thats what ur going for. Dont think about what to talk about so much just go on the date and let things flow. Make her laugh bro, thats the key. And dont bring her anything on the first date, thats not a good image to put on. Try not to talk to much about yourself either, ask her lots of question about her self, u gotta own the conversation as well, dont let her control it, gotta let her know your confident, they love that.

When you say "own the conversation" what do you mean by that? I shouldn't talk too much though right? Let her do most of it, and listen, cuz I know girls love that, but how do I own the conversation then, and show confidence just through speech/convo?

Thnx for the advice guys, keep them coming.

**Terinox** · 01-06-2007, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

wow, when i saw you posting i knew i had to get in here and post...

I was shy, with women, let them lead the conversation.. they are just like everyone else, ask them open ended questions, get to know them, be a friend...

if she's a ho, she will move on you like white on rice, if she is a good girl, a hug on the 1st date, a kiss on the 3rd... the 3rd is not the money date, unless you are a player.. which you said you were not..

so good luck, and be you..

Okay, letting them talk more seems ideal, but when you say open ended question, can you gimme some good examples? I know you're supposed to avoid family, religion, politics, etc...

And I have no problem with taking it REALLY slow, especially with her, no need/desire to rush it at all, I really do NOT wanna fvck this one up!

Thnx,
T.

**spywizard** · 01-06-2007, 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by Terinox

Okay, letting them talk more seems ideal, but when you say open ended question, can you gimme some good examples? I know you're supposed to avoid family, religion, politics, etc...

And I have no problem with taking it REALLY slow, especially with her, no need/desire to rush it at all, I really do NOT wanna fvck this one up!

Thnx,
T.

so don't take her to a movie, take her to get something light to eat, at a mall, then tell her if she doesn't mind you need to pick up a shirt or 2 and would she mind helping you..

then ask her

"So, tell me about your family"

"What kind of relationship do you have with your siblings"

"What are your plans for the next 5 years, where do you see yourself going?"

"Have you ever thought about skydiving??"

**Terinox** · 01-06-2007, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by StoneGRMI

Just came across this: http://msn.match.com/msn/article.asp...uid=6&GT1=8953

Thanks for the link, but unfortunetly it's no good for me, I should have been more specific, LOL, I know I asked for "dating help" and that's too general, but I'm really trying to just focus on this one at the moment, and put everything into this to make it work. How to talk to her, impress her, etc. We've already met before, relative of a very close friend, so I want things to go very smooth and "right."

I think she's fairly simple, nice and down to earth kinda girl.

**Testsubject** · 01-06-2007, 09:25 PM

I mean you decide what direction the conversation is going to go, dont let her ask all the questions and dont let her bring up all the new topics, I just mean be in control of the situation, just dont be the shy sheepish guy who is sitting there listening the whole time and not keeping her entertained, tell some stories and some jokes keep her entertained, make her laugh, ask her things about her self, listen to what she has to say, but dont JUST be the listener. And if she even once bring up an X or anything like that tell her you dont want to hear about it. Basically bro just be yourself, whatevers on your mind say it, dont hold back anything just so she'll like you thatll just get you in trouble, dont go out of your way to make her like you, just show her who you are and if she likes it, well then great, if not then its her loss bro.

**Terinox** · 01-06-2007, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by Testsubject

I mean you decide what direction the conversation is going to go, dont let her ask all the questions and dont let her bring up all the new topics, I just mean be in control of the situation, just dont be the shy sheepish guy who is sitting there listening the whole time and not keeping her entertained, tell some stories and some jokes keep her entertained, make her laugh, ask her things about her self, listen to what she has to say, but dont JUST be the listener. And if she even once bring up an X or anything like that tell her you dont want to hear about it. Basically bro just be yourself, whatevers on your mind say it, dont hold back anything just so she'll like you thatll just get you in trouble, dont go out of your way to make her like you, just show her who you are and if she likes it, well then great, if not then its her loss bro.

Sounds good, thanks, I'll do my best to follow your suggestions

**EcToMoRpHiAn** · 01-06-2007, 09:32 PM

It all depends on your goals right now with women. One way that I have found worked well for me is there is a guy named David DeAngelo who has this series called "Double Your Dating", the dvd's can be purchased online, and there is also an E-book. It may sound like a bunch of BS, but it actually helped me with being shy and nervous around girls. You should try a file sharing program and search for double your dating if interested.

If you are willing to swallow your pride and manhood, you should check it out. I did it because at that point in my life I had no idea how to treat women, and typically was walked all over. Now I do pretty well, and certainly have not had any relationship or dating situation that I was not in control of.

**shwamin2004** · 01-06-2007, 10:19 PM

Adult Friend finder is not the way to go for a girl friend....

**PrairieDawg** · 01-07-2007, 04:27 AM

dude just go to www.askmen.com and check out the dating articles. tons of good advice there.

**Mizfit** · 01-07-2007, 11:48 AM

Originally Posted by StoneGRMI

I don't know anyone that gives flowers or candy on a first date anymore. Maybe it's just my age bracket that doesn't (23).

some have done it for me and honestly.. i am not into it (30yrs old)

**StoneGRMI** · 01-07-2007, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

some have done it for me and honestly.. i am not into it 930yrs old)

You're old, Mizfit! 930! wow!

**MFT81** · 01-07-2007, 12:31 PM

This is going to sound really corny but when i first start seeing someone ive thought about 5-10 conversation starters before hand so that I can avoid the ackward pause.

If there is one thing I hate its that just meeting someone phase. so uncomfortable.