For those of you that have ever been in a relationship

[rubix6]

great post!

[C_Bino]

There is a lot I feel like saying but Ill sum it up with saying its just too bad. I actually cant believe some people post the things they do. Mavs has never done anything but spread good words and "inspiring" stories, and then people personally attack HIM. Just ridiculous, thats all it is.

Mavs you got my number, please call me anytime brother. I respect all of your decisions.

[G-1000]

There is a lot I feel like saying but Ill sum it up with saying its just too bad. I actually cant believe some people post the things they do. Mavs has never done anything but spread good words and "inspiring" stories, and then people personally attack HIM. Just ridiculous, thats all it is.

Mavs you got my number, please call me anytime brother. I respect all of your decisions.

I dont see anyone attacking him. Everyone has a diffrent out look on things. Know one said that Mavs does not mean well or is not a good guy.

[C_Bino]

Gsxxr there are always things goin on behind the scenes. I will not get into this any further other than to say its too bad.

[G-1000]

Gsxxr there are always things goin on behind the scenes. I will not get into this any further other than to say its too bad.

That is true. My postsif just my view one how i look at things. I dont wont anyone feeling as if i attacked them.

[CSAR]

I sincerely apologize if I came off as untowards. I have nothing but respect for Mavs and the positive messages he shares with us. I also was not trying to turn this thread into an issue of right versus wrong with my post. I believe in the power of open and honest dialog between two people in any type of a relationship and wanted to make that point. Again, I think the world of Mavs for taking the time to share with us.

[ginkobulloba]

I guess a lot of people are on PCT these days...

[BigLittleTim]

"Marriage is a long conversation."

-Montaigne (?)

[frank12391]

I always though that it all starts in the bedroom when things go bad. I mean to have great sex you gotta have great comunication, right? I don't mean that sex is the most important thing, rather the act is good practice for good comunication. I know that when my partner and I are getting on, we have great sex and when we are not talking we are not having sex. Thats what I'v learned in 13 years and it works for me.

Keep it simple.

[hateme]

I was looking for the meaning but it didn't make much sense to me. My take on it is different.

They were high school sweet hearts. There was never a foundation built in the first place. They were two horny kids looking to get laid and got married because their religion says no to premarital sex. That isn't much to build a relationship off of. They married young and never had time to grow as individuals. There for they'll most likely grow apart, not closer.

Also, people have needs. If she felt he is not fufilling them she should tell him what they are so he knows exactly what she's not getting from him. The same applies to him. A good relationship is based on communication and compromise. No two people are exactly alike. Both parties have to be willing to listen and compromise and give their partner what they need from the relationship.

I think that is clearer than talking about icebergs. Icebergs make me think of a sinking ships.

Exactly

[hateme]

This just happened last night:

I was forced to have to revisit the foudation of my love for my wife yesterday due to a little accident that the had. She was turning left into our driveway, but unfortunately, she failed to take a wide enough turn. This caused our SUV to scrape up against our recycling bin that's pinned up against our fence leaving a huge 24 inch gash/dent in the driver's side rear door. (see attached pic) She walks up to me upon entering the house and gives me the news.

I was able to not get angry because I did not forget the reasons why I love her. My foundation with my wife is built upon committment, grace and unconditional forgiveness. These characteristics allow us to love each other unconditionally. Had I not revisited these charateristics that make up our foundation yesterday, then I would have gotten pretty upset at her for her silly mistake.

Make sense?

She's cheating on you.

[beuleux]

Forget it... hes not even reading this anymore

[Tock]

This line got my attention:

You see, with love comes expectations.

Seems to me that love is love; it is a feeling that fills you with best wishes for the beloved. Expectations, on the other hand, comes from entering into a contract.

Evidently these two folks anticipated that after getting married, their partner was going to behave in certain ways. Anger set in when that didn't happen. If their unreasonable expectations are not changed to fit with what they can do, well, you can expect more anger and a miserable relationship.

Not that I'm an expert in these things, but this is my take, based on the info given . . .

[Tock]

"Marriage is a long conversation."

-Montaigne (?)

Lots of the old guys I know agree on the secret of a long and happy marriage: "Learn how to say two words: 'Yes dear!' "

Another guy said, "I'll tell ya the secret to a long and happy marriage, Tock. We go out to dinner twice a week. I go out on Tuesdays, and she goes out on Thursdays."